Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Krazy Meets Crazy, Part 1

For the Agents of the New Order, saving highsec is a bit like running a relay race. From time to time, you pass the baton onto someone else, confident that they'll give as much effort to the race as you have.


Agent Kalorned was pleased by the progress he'd made in the Gamis system. He decided to go help another system, and lent Agent KrazyTaco his bumping ship, a Stabber Fleet Issue. Sadly, the Gamis locals assumed that Kalorned's absence meant they could act like spoiled little children again. KrazyTaco brought them back to their senses with some good bumps.
johantttt > what is going on here?
KrazyTaco > johantttt I am explaining The Code to the residents here
johantttt > whats about it?
KrazyTaco > Well you see some miners are trying to mine without mining permits
KrazyTaco > Required by The Code
johantttt > and you go bumb to make money?
KrazyTaco > Bumping is our bread and butter
johantttt > ye
johantttt > go and improve somewhere else
KrazyTaco encountered a miner named johantttt. He was curious about the Code at first, but before he'd even had a chance to read it, he made a snap judgment. He made himself known as an enemy of the New Order.
johantttt > where are you?
KrazyTaco > Ice Belt
johantttt > where?
KrazyTaco > Ice Belt
johantttt > and how to go there?
KrazyTaco > johantttt your a 2010 player, dont be coy
johantttt > how to fak can you be in high sec if you gank players?
KrazyTaco > Easy, we're the good guys
johantttt began playing EVE in 2010. Carebears would say that he's a "newbie". He was as clueless about EVE as he was about the Code.


Despite johantttt's hostility and prejudice, it was an Agent of the New Order who would help him learn the game mechanics. As usual, the carebears who demand nerfs to highsec PvP in the name of helping "new players" did nothing to help johantttt.
johantttt > so if you kill me 100 times concorde wont attack?
KrazyTaco > johantttt I didn't say that
KrazyTaco > johantttt I just said we do what we want
johantttt > you get low security status and concorde kills you?
KrazyTaco > johantttt No
johantttt > if i kill you the concorde will always attack me?
KrazyTaco > johantttt yes - because were good guys
KrazyTaco > And Concord likes good guys
johantttt > you lie
KrazyTaco was alarmed. He began to sense that johantttt might be plotting to attack his bumping Stabber. He warned johantttt that CONCORD wouldn't look kindly upon him. But johantttt was blinded by rage. He didn't believe a word of it.
johantttt > you dont gank beacuse concorde will kill you when you kill to many
johantttt > noovs
johantttt > noobs
johantttt > you just steal hard working ppls money
johantttt > whats the name of your top leader?
KrazyTaco > James 315
johantttt > the top leader off all this?
KrazyTaco > johantttt Correct
KrazyTaco > James founded the new order
johantttt > go and fak mine or something!
Although KrazyTaco is officially a member of GoonSwarm, he recognized me as the "top leader" since he was in New Order territory. johantttt wrote my name down for future reference.


Winning hearts and minds is pretty much what we do. That doesn't mean that it happens immediately, though. Sometimes tough love is necessary. As johantttt's Drake inched closer to KrazyTaco's bumping Stabber, the application of tough love became increasingly likely.
KrazyTaco > johantttt are you going to do something with that drake
johantttt > suicide maybe
johantttt > can someone answer me what happens i i shoot here? i cant be in high sec?
Olivia shy > you shoot concord will blow you up
johantttt > but whats about security status?
johantttt > i pressed my shoot button one time and slipped
johantttt claimed he was ready to give his life in a desperate attempt to destroy the New Order, but he was hesitant. He didn't want to die in vain. What he didn't realize was that all rebellion against the Order is vanity.
Karen Pahineh > i laugh at the intellect of these highsec grief bumpers
Olivia shy > they are pathectic
Olivia shy > matter of fact if enough miners say something to CCP about them they will act on it
KrazyTaco > Olivia shy keep telling yourself that
Karen Pahineh > ya they need to report them
Olivia shy > ill make a thread for it if all the miners go and add a statment on it
Olivia shy > x up if you guys are willing to x up on a CCP thread
johantttt's yellowboxing of the Stabber inspired the rebels to speak up in local. They were ready to petition CCP to ban the New Order. They assumed that because we haven't been banned yet, it must be because no other miners have tried it before.


KrazyTaco was running out of diplomatic options. War was imminent. He prepared for the fight of his life.
johantttt > i need a jammer?
johantttt > we can say no warp?
KrazyTaco > johantttt I wont warp
KrazyTaco > Scouts honor
All of a sudden, johantttt realized that his Drake didn't have a warp disruptor fitted! If he tried to suicide gank KrazyTaco, then KrazyTaco could just warp away. So before the gank, johantttt made KrazyTaco promise not to warp away. The stage was set for an apocalyptic confrontation.


johantttt tried to suicide gank KrazyTaco with a Drake. He failed, naturally. The Stabber came equipped with drones, which were ordered to attack the Drake after it opened fire. This way, KrazyTaco would be able to get on the killmail and see the Drake's fittings.


johantttt's suicide Drake used one of the more unusual gank fits I've seen. He wasn't able to tank CONCORD as planned, but at least he didn't run out of capacitor for his missile launchers.

SPECIAL BONUS!

Kalorned uploaded the latest in his series of Gamis videos to YouTube. At the 2:18 mark, you can witness video footage of the Drake vs. Stabber duel! Modern technology is wonderful. You'll feel like you were there.

johantttt was doomed to defeat from the moment he spat on the Code. Now that he'd been humbled and brought to justice, would KrazyTaco succeed in reforming the carebear?

To be continued...

27 comments:

  1. x up if you're willing to x up on a strongly written forum post!

    Now that's some quality carebear thinking right there. At least johantttt had the courage to press F1 instead of 'x'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BeBopAReBop RhubarbPieDecember 18, 2013 at 12:59 AM

      While johanttt may not have a strong understanding of game mechanics (or any sort of understanding of them at all), you do have to admire his courage and convictions to take on a valiant code enforcer in a drake. Of course we could admire him more if he actually enforced the code.

      Delete
  2. That entire region and systems nearby are infested with those that think they can resist the New Order. And I fear my "shoot first, sell permit later" approach is not working as I hoped. But it is damned hilarious when one of their exhumers dies after a rebel fires off warnings in local and they pile escorts into their mining blobs. "Always bet on stupid"

    -EasyKill

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh please, KraztTaco is an alt of Kalorned, just like the other two
    Gimme a break

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What proof do you have that you're not an alt of Kalorned, as well? It's obvious that I'm not Kalorned, due to my name, but you don't have a name, so you probably are, eh?

      Delete
    2. What proof do you have that the CODE is a good thing?

      Delete
    3. That depends upon your definition of good. Do you believe in democracy?

      Delete
    4. The proof is all over these pages plebe

      Delete
    5. I do
      CODE is not a democracy, it's nothing but a cult. You're all just carebears pretending to be PVPers
      Also, Kalorned sucks at what he does, saw two whole ice belts mined out and he didn't do a thing

      Delete
    6. If you think the NO/CODE/Kalorned is not effective, why spend your time coming to their website to talk about him/it/them--especially because you know that more visitors and more posters on their site makes them more relevant, not less? Clearly you don't believe what you say and are slowly working up your courage to join the right side, and follow the Code.

      Delete
    7. No I'm not, and you only think you're right because you're around other cultists who are trained to think like you.
      You're like a retarded Sansha's Nation
      And it takes more than playing EVE to fight back against bottom feeders such as yourself

      Delete
    8. "And it takes more than playing EVE to fight back against bottom feeders such as yourself"

      If you find it at all difficult to fight back against 'retarded' 'bottom feeders', doesn't that make you worse than a 'retarded bottom feeder'

      The only thing you're accomplishing here is insulting yourself.

      Delete
  4. The code is a good thing since they kill bots. We all win when bots die, even the miners if they aren't bots.

    ReplyDelete
  5. For real life reasons I no longer play Eve, but when I come back I would like to do something about the really rubbish CEO's that profit by keeping their corp members dumb and insensible.

    I looked up the corp and found it was created on the 1st September 2013 by a character created on 26 August 2013. Now I realise the character could be an alt of a mire experienced player or the ceo is really a great learner who has a member that us bad at learning/reading or communicating in general.

    However I looked up the corporate bio sheet snd ws depressed at an advert sbout buying ore from corp members. Theres also a recruitment post that hasn't been bumped or updated for at least a month or more, which says the same thing. No mention of voice servers, no mention of pvp activity, no mention of any group effort, just mining ops.

    It sickens me how bad ceos can turn a potentially great player into a mindless drone funding the corporate machine for very little reward or fun.

    My characters are currently in a null alliance, however one can do only so many hubs before it gets dull, so my characters will be jumping down to high sec because like the New Order it is worth saving.

    Especially from crappy CEOs who shouldn't be in that position of responsibility.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. we cant wait to have you back Sid!!

      Delete
  6. "johantttt's suicide Drake used one of the more unusual gank fits I've seen. He wasn't able to tank CONCORD as planned, but at least he didn't run out of capacitor for his missile launchers."

    These are the side effects of mining (especially in a almost perfect safe environment as highsec).

    ReplyDelete
  7. Pathetic. The same five people with no life are bored but choose to deal with that boredom by ganking with various alts. As long as James' name is mentioned somewhere they will have their shitty little encounters published. It's like the old Penthouse Forum letters but without the sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your imagination in feverish overdrive, concocting scenarios and conspiracies as fast as you can, you still can't manage to paint a delusional picture of ganking that is worse or more pathetic than mining. Hilarious.

      Delete
    2. ganking is probably the worst thing one can do in EVE

      Delete
    3. Good argument, Anon, very convincing.

      Delete
  8. Well, at least he's trying to figure out game mechanics...

    ReplyDelete
  9. https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&m=4017404#post4017404

    Olivia got enough x's it seems. Shame she seems to be in that thread, without any kind of support. Oh carebears, when will you learn to stand united?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wait, what? How the hell...?

      Amazing... leave it to a carebear to not only screw up game mechanics, but forum mechanics as well.

      How on earth did she manage to create a thread like that, where the thread creator's comment is the 5th comment, not the 1st???

      On second thought, no, I don't think I even want to know. I'm sure it will be something depressingly stupid.

      Delete
    2. Looks like that thread died on the vine. too bad, could have been a good larf.

      Delete
  10. I'm sure KrazyTaco will soon (if he hasn't already) also instruct johan on the game mechanics known as "kill rights".

    ReplyDelete
  11. i used my kill right against me on my alt xD

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stating the obviousDecember 30, 2013 at 9:16 PM

      Yes, that was detailed in part 2, a week ago. xD

      Delete

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