Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Morning in Gamis, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned took upon himself the Agent's burden--the incredible responsibility of having absolute dominion over the miners of Gamis. After a brief meeting with a fellow Agent, it was time for Kalorned to begin pacifying and educating carebears in the remote Derelik region.


When the cat's away, the miners will AFK. Which makes it more difficult for them to see when the cat returns.
LT IKE > look who stopped by for an afternoon to sux us off Kalorned Keraina Talie-Kuo Krominal
LT IKE > must be on a lunch break
Kalorned > Evening Legolas's
Kalorned > I dont seem to have a permit on file for you
Milchschnittchen > gankage imminent
Milchschnittchen > catalysts are out
A fellow miner attempted to warn Legolas's, but it was of no use. It's hard to coordinate people who aren't there.


Predictably, the fail-fit Mackinaw was destroyed. It had some shield mods, true, but two lowslots and a rigslot for capacitor mods? I didn't know mining lasers were such a drain on the battery.
Milchschnittchen > legolas seems dead and podkilled
Milchschnittchen > kalorned flashing
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Kill: Legolas's (Mackinaw) Kill: Legolas's (Capsule) - Permits are a great idea
LT IKE > Keraina Talie-Kuo wow you really are a cunt killing the ship and then poding him you both are real fucking cowards
Keraina Talie-Kuo > He should have had a permit
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Not my problem
Kalorned, Krominal, and Keraina Talie-Kuo worked together in perfect harmony to enforce the Code. The locals were shocked. Following the Code was totally contrary to their custom.


When Kalorned returned to help another miner find a permit, the local ruffians gathered together to present a united front in the ice anomaly. But the reason the New Order always wins is simple: We never give up. We always come back.
Ryak Knoxe > Kalorned go be a real man and pvp in low sec. instead of picking on miners lame ass
WesQ72 > thats right bitch
WesQ72 > warp out
Apolo Askiras > Pussys
Kalorned > I like enforcing the Code here
WesQ72 > THATS RIGHT
WesQ72 > come mine in the ice belt
WesQ72 > if you want
WesQ72 > its mine now
Ryak Knoxe > fuck your code wantabe pvp guy
Dartholemus > do you realize how many large alliances are sitting next door?
When the Catalysts left the ice anomaly, the rebels were thrilled. Now all they had to do was keep it up, forever.


Unlike Catalysts, Invincible Stabbers are invincible. So Kalorned freely took control of the Mackinaw with the power of the bump.


KABOOM! The Catalysts returned. Like Legolas's, this miner used some tank mods. But not nearly enough.
Kalorned > Peladon Furfoot you still dont have a permit
WesQ72 > dont matter
Peladon Furfoot > the check is in the mail
Kalorned > Peladon Furfoot I will now remove you from the belt
Kalorned > That's a pity
Krominal > Kill: Peladon Furfoot (Mackinaw) Permits are always the better option
Ryak Knoxe > your such a pussy
Kalorned > Just doing our jobs
Ryak Knoxe > think i may need to spice it up for you see how tough you really are
Krominal > Please do spice it up
Peladon Furfoot > Keraina Talie-Kuo kill rights available to all for 0 isk
Kalorned > Peladon Furfoot Please make that available
Kalorned > As if the -9.9 isn't enough
The rebels were enraged when they learned that they'd been outsmarted by the Agents of the New Order. Peladon took longer to get enraged, since he was AFK. He tried to comfort himself with the thought of killrights. But killrights on a ganker only produce a profound feeling of emptiness for the carebear.


Highsec is for the living, not the dead. A miner without a keyboard at hand is like a puppet with no strings. It is only good for kindling.
Kalorned > Evening Ben Nickfen, are you AFK?
Kalorned > Ben Nickfen Please respond in the next 5 seconds
Kalorned > Ben Nickfen You are guilty of AFK mining, I wll now have to remove you from the belt
Kalorned > Your also guilty of carrying contraband, your ship name Weed Express gives it away
Kalorned gave the miner plenty of warning, but received no response. Death was inevitable. So were the tears, since a miner cannot be AFK forever. Cue the self-pity and entitlement in five, four, three, two...
Ben Nickfen > WTF was that for
Kalorned > Ben Nickfen You didn't respond to me when called
Ben Nickfen > fuck you asshole
Kalorned > That's the biggest violation of The Code you can make
Kalorned > Agent Krominal will be contating you shortly with more details
Krominal > Kill: Ben Nickfen (Retriever) Respect the code
Ben Nickfen > what fucking code
Kalorned > The only code there is http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
When a child asks for the definition of a word, a parent will often tell the child to look up the answer himself. He'll be more likely to remember it that way. Agents of the New Order do something similar when it comes to the Code: They provide a demonstration of what happens to a miner when they fail to obey it. Then the miner never forgets. But Gamis was still crying out for a hero, and Kalorned was only warming up...

To be continued...

17 comments:

  1. Bless Kalorned may his stabber fly straight and true.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am enjoying the exploits of Kalorned. Keep the reports coming! You are an example to us all.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A moment of silence for my brothers and sisters who have died to the hands of the Code. May they learn to never give in and learn to outlast the murderous fiends.
    Molon Labe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With everyone AFK at the belts, I feel it's going to more than just a moment of silence.

      Delete
    2. Ouch! That's some antimatter-level burn right there.

      Delete
    3. How about a moment of silence for all the miners too proud (or dumb) to simply pay the paltry 10mil for their permit and get right with the Code?

      (they're AFK of course, so it will be really really silent)

      Delete
  4. someone buy Molon Labe a lovely Aloe Vera plant.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Wait, so he bumps the target away from the rebels and THEN ganks him, I love it!

    This is why the rebels have no hope of winning, they cannot beat the ingenuity or cleverness of an agent of the New Order. Even a rebel fleet cannot save a miner that violates the Code!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, it was very clever. The best part was he did it right in view of the miner's warships! They were so clueless... Maybe they were afk? I can't possibly imagine somebody sitting there in a warship, monitoring the Agent's activities on grid, and not asking, "What the heck is he doing?"

      Delete
  6. lol you guys are a joke you act like attacking and killing mining ships makes you bad asses and that you are now elite players but the truth is real pvpers go pvp not attack ships with little to no defense but hey keep spouting your code for retards and acting cool by glossing it with soothing words you know you bring one person to mind Adolf Hitler he was a good talker too and spent alot of time killing ppl for no other reason then they did not meet his code of the proper human so by all means continue to act like him sure it will make you feel good I'm sure you are all pro scankers with no real pvp skill

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Space Ship Shooting Game TutorDecember 10, 2013 at 8:00 PM

      Hard core Bingo card filler, here.

      "real pvpers go pvp not attack ships with little to no defense"

      Go ahead, provide us with a long list of nonmining ships which cost less ISK than a procurer but have a stronger defense (as measured by their EHP buffer tank). I'm sure you have many such ships in mind, to back up your claim that mining ships intrinsically have little or defense...or are you just spouting nonsense about Hitler with no real data to back up any of your insane meanderings?

      Delete
  7. also glad you all are too stupid to realize many players don't read local as most in it is retard dribble and not worth reading but hey you knights of the third riech must have really thought it all out huh :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think we can all agree that whenever you're active in local, you perceive that it's filled with retard dribble. Those of us who are not you, are able to participate in local without filling it with retard dribble. I will leave the details as to how we accomplish this feat to your limited (and dribble-coated) imagination.

      Delete
    2. when tools like those that made this site are in local then I think we can all agree that YES local is full of pointless dribble but I hardly expect you to understand that (what with your small minded dribble coated mind and all) it is not my fault you all thought spouting off about a new order makes you sound like nazi wannabes and so sorry if the reality of this fact hurts as it hits you but hey don't be mad son there is still hope you can always except this for the truth it is and turn away from toolville known as the new order or you can always rename yourselves the Nazi noobs and be honest about what you believe if you choose to stay on this path

      Delete
    3. Anon 11:13

      Yeah because comparing something in-game to something that happened in the most bloodiest war in history is right >.>
      And you call us lifeless, like, dude...

      Also, don't you know how to make a proper paragraph? Your wall of text can make your fellow carebear's (mostly empty) brain hurt :)

      Don't forget to buy a mining permit if you're in high-sec!

      Delete
  8. better yet heres the deal how about your new order simply pay me 1 billion isk a month to permit you to have your order in MY high sec I mean it's only a paltry 1 bil (Zazz Razzamatazz) and then we can all exist and be happy but if you are too good to pay the fee then why should miners pay your 10 mil fee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The New Order won't pay you squat.

      Reason #1: You're a nobody, just another guy in high-sec.

      Reason #2: You're still a nobody, and you don't pose a single threat to the New Order.

      Reason #3: The New Order doesn't like to give filthy carebears isk.

      Delete

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