Friday, December 20, 2013

To Thine Own Self, Be True

Among the tools that still exist to facilitate fun in highsec, ganking and wardecs are the most widely seen. It's easy to give them the spotlight. But we mustn't forget the awoxers. They have a particular burden to carry. The decision to shoot their own corpmates for violating the Code? That takes commitment.

Agent Jack Lennox felt the call to enforce the Code. With his history of highsec mining, he acquired a passion for joining carebear corps and killing them from within.

Carebears have plenty of ways to avoid recruiting awoxers, but they don't use them. In their minds, highsec is a place for easy, no-effort money-making. A click on an applicant's employment history is one click too many.

Jack's former corpmates informed on him to his new CEO. "You can stay, but only if you don't awox us." Thousand Suns was so lazy and bot-aspirant that he couldn't be bothered to recruit a real miner. Jack should be admired for being willing to shoulder the "lie" that he wouldn't awox. You see, when your CEO forbids you from enforcing the Code, your CEO becomes responsible for everything you must do to overcome him. By forcing Jack to lie, Thousand Suns became the liar; Jack was a truth-teller.

Jack's worst fears about the corp were true. It was filled with anti-Order miners. And CEO Thousand Suns himself was your classic "I have powerful friends in nullsec" kinda guy. He couldn't admit that he was just another highsec miner.

Where once there was only silence in highsec, we create a symphony. The New Order awoxer worked hand-in-hand with wardeccer Psychotic Monk. For the carebear apologists among you, explain to me how you defend Thousand Suns' decision to tell everyone, "Let's all mine during the wardec, because nothing bad could possibly happen."

Bot-aspirancy had taken deep root in the corp. They learned nothing from the fact that the Orca died while being AFK for six hours. Instead of educating the Orca pilot, they enabled him. Jack Lennox had absolutely no choice but to use his awox character to kill everyone in sight.

Jack hatched a plan to liberate a fail-fit missioning Vindicator from the filthy carebears. He grabbed a cruiser and struck at the moment of opportunity.

But Jack felt pity on the Vindicator. Not the pilot, mind you (she was guilty as sin), but the Vindicator itself. Jack took the pilot's 200 million isk and allowed her to eject to go scrounge up some more cash. His main rescued the Vindicator and put it somewhere safe. When the carebear's pod returned to the scene, it was smashed. Jack expected this to jolt some sense into the carebear, but amazingly, she still wanted to get the Vindicator back. After it had just been rescued from slavery!
Bob StarSeeker > Hi
Bob StarSeeker > I have no use for a vindicator, I'm interested in giving it back
Morena Ohmiras > Interested how?
Bob StarSeeker > Interested as in interested in negotiating a deal
Bob StarSeeker > How about 200mil? Seems reasonable
Morena Ohmiras > Sounds reasonable
The former Vindicator pilot, Morena Ohmiras, had no idea that Jack's main had taken the ship. He told her that a Goon, Bob StarSeeker, was to blame. Bob was invited to chat. He offered to sell the ship back to Morena.
Morena Ohmiras > make a contract with the ship at the station and add the 10k fee and I will pick it up
Bob StarSeeker > As you konw, as a director, I can't be seen handing out faction ships at 200mil
Bob StarSeeker > It doesn't exactly look great if I give you a vindi, which is a ship that comes from guristas space, our home region, for 200mil
Bob StarSeeker > So, here's the fool-proof way to do it so it doesn't come across as suspicsious in the API
Bob StarSeeker > You send me 200mil and I'll have my alt undock and eject it
Morena Ohmiras > I am not sending anything until I have the ship
Bob StarSeeker > Oh but think more of me lol, I didn't become recruitment director of goonswarm through backstabbery and lies
For some reason, Morena had difficulty trusting Bob, despite his being GoonSwarm's recruitment director.
Bob StarSeeker > I'm at the spearhead of a 11,000 man alliance here, I've got my reputation at stake
Bob StarSeeker > You have chat logs and everything, this would damage the alliance
Bob StarSeeker > That's your collateral
Morena Ohmiras > No, I don't care. As far as I am concerned you are awesome and are just keeping the Vindi safe for me, if anyone asks, other than that, I don't hand over money unless it's a contract.
Bob StarSeeker > As far as the mittani is concerned, you're a N3 alt and I'm funneling our government money to you
Morena Ohmiras > I don;t even know what that means
Bob explained that the Vindicator couldn't be sold through normal channels. He wouldn't want The Mittani thinking he was smuggling the faction ship to an unauthorized source.
Bob StarSeeker > It means if we do it your way, it shows up on the API and they think I'm a spy or disgruntled director
Morena Ohmiras > there is no guarantee I will make it back to ANY station with the ship intact
Bob StarSeeker > It will be right on the undock
Morena Ohmiras > here?
Bob StarSeeker > You do have a guarantee
Bob StarSeeker > If I don't give you the ship, then you'll be able to use these logs to smother my reputation
Morena Ohmiras > so just to cement this "guarantee"
Morena Ohmiras > I have your solemn word as a Director of the Goonswarm Federation that I will get my ship back intact with all the fittings if I give you the money?
Bob StarSeeker > Yes you do.
To ensure that Bob's method of transfer would go off without a hitch, he had to give his solemn word as a Director of the GoonSwarm Federation. The Goon did not hesitate to put his honour at stake.
Morena Ohmiras > how long will it take for the exchange?
Bob StarSeeker > 2 minutes at most
Morena Ohmiras > Am I making a mistake by trusting you?
Bob StarSeeker > No, this position I have is built on trust
Morena Ohmiras > fine, two minutes
Morena Ohmiras > here goes nothing
Bob StarSeeker > I appreciate your trust
Morena Ohmiras > there you go
Bob StarSeeker > But I've decided that my reputation as recruitment director doesn't matter, thanks anyway.
However, the fact remained that Morena was a bot-aspirant who showed no respect for the Code. By forcing Bob to scam her, Morena became guilty of the scam. Another 200 million isk was liberated and put to work in an EVE-appropriate manner.

Meanwhile, Morena didn't bother to tell her corpmates about the theft of her Vindicator. So Jack went on his merry way, awoxing all the miners he could find. Sadly, there were many.

The sun set on Thousand Suns' corp. In the end, building a corp on a foundation of AFK mining is like building a castle out of sand. It will only wash away. Or an Agent of the New Order will eventually discover it and knock it over. Meanwhile, building a highsec corp on the foundation of the Code is like building a castle with normal castle-building materials. It will stand the test of time.


  1. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. I know very well the joy of bringing a corp into compliance from within.

    I wonder if we could have the fit for the liberated Vindicator? I am curious as to the gory details of how it was overcome by a Gnosis.

    1. Raptor Jesus wept, if the silly twit was having problems in LEVEL TWO missions in a you want to damage your brain looking at said fit?

      Mike Adoulin

  2. We can only hope that 2014 brings an actual event worth crowing about. I will admit to liking the AWOX stories better then the dumbass tales about bumping and ganking that anyone who doesn't ride the short bus could accomplish. But, it still demonstrates just how delusional James is.

    1. Hi there, Anon.

      Your comment leads me to believe that you have never attempted a gank before. It's not quite as simple as the carebears would like you to believe when spewing their "Nerf hisec agression" propoganda. I'd like to help you give it a shot so you can make an educated judgement about it. Reply to this comment with your character (or an alt's) name and I'll walk you through your first gank.

      I mean this. Let me introduce you to a new, fun way to play.

    2. These are all "actual events", except for the fact that they're in a game, so they're really virtual events. Your thirst for real life ganking and awoxing is sick and twisted, and your desire to see crows feast on the bodies afterwards is bestial. The difficult part in bumping and ganking isn't the skill involved, but in maintaining the fine moral integrity common to all agents, while in contact with moral filth such as afk miners. Clearly, this moral fiber is something you are lacking in, so your criticisms seem quite ironic.

  3. Well done Jack.

    The amount of awesomeness contained in this game never ceases to amaze !!

    - Guybertini

  4. Why would you do that to someone? You're all bullies

  5. "By forcing Bob to scam her, Morena became guilty of the scam."

    A truly facepalm moment brought to you by someone who didn't need that vindi.

    Trust a Goon recruitment director??? I didn't think anyone was that naïve, but the Code has proven me wrong. I thought I was terrible at Eve but I am less terrible than OP.

    1. Bob StarSeeker had no choice there. As a goon recruitment direction it is his duty to scam people.


    Here's the vindi fit, sorry I'm posting this so late. Anyone who doubted my actions should know that this poor vindi NEEDED to be liberated from its owner. :p


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