Thursday, February 27, 2014

Gistii with a Chance of Pithium, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Kalorned's heart was broken when he witnessed scads of bot-aspirants wasting their lives in the asteroid belts of highsec. Compassion motivated him to bump and gank non-compliants. But then he encountered an alpha carebear: A nearly decade-old miner:
Kalorned > Good Evening, you are currently mining in violation of The New Halaima Code of Conduct - I will now bump you from the belt until such a time that you become compliant.
formerjunkie > whats up Kalorned
formerjunkie > you're talking to 05 players
Faced with a player much older than himself, Kalorned was undaunted. He had faith that the New Order always wins.

He wasn't wrong. formerjunkie's Hulk went up in a plume of smoke. The smoke was more colorful than usual, since it contained the ashes of a Gistii B-Type Small Shield Booster and a Pithum C-Type Kinetic Deflection Amplifier.

Then the carebear's pod burst. I guess '05 players die as easily as any other miner.
Kalorned > Age has no bearing on compliancy
Krominal > Kill: formerjunkie (Hulk) Kill: formerjunkie (Capsule) No one is expect from a permit in New Order space
Ceruleanna Ae'restourre > STAY TRUE TO THE CODE
Ceruleanna Ae'restourre > AND THE CODE WILL STAY TRUE TO YOU
Kalorned > how true
They say "nothing succeeds like success". The best way to win the loyalty of highsec is to be good at what you do. Locals were impressed by the Agent's skill, and the New Order gained more adherents that day.

Not everyone was convinced yet, though. Kalorned learned of an emergency: A Gistum-fit rebel miner! The emergency resolved itself when Kalorned killed her.

Call me jaded, but I'm suspicious of any excuse for being AFK. Did the phone ring "just before" the attack? Was the miner really that unlucky? Or does he simply have a very liberal definition of "just before"--like, the phone rang only a few hours before the attack? Kalorned shrugged and went back to killing miners.
Dandrath Deninard > been away from the game better then 1 year whats this compliant stuff?
Leonidas Therm > its all bs
Krominal >
Leonidas Therm > krom is a retard
Krominal > YOu will receuve a message shortly explaining everything
Leonidas Therm > but he does look better with something in his mouth
Kalorned killed Dandrath Deninard, who feigned ignorance. Protip: Don't feign ignorance. It's only going to get you another lecture on the Code.
Leonidas Therm > lmao hes a idiot who couldnt win fights in newb space so hes trying this
Leonidas Therm > its a failure of a resume
Dandrath Deninard > seems to me if you are killing miners its because you can't killother real pilots
Krominal > We shoot miners who display bot aspirant behaviours
Krominal > We are hell bent on improving High Sec by all means possible
Dandrath Deninard > sounds like a lot of hot air but whatever
For someone who claimed not to know anything about the New Order, Dandrath sure had the latest smacktalk down pat. "Why don't you shoot at something that shoots back?" We've already busted that myth, friend.
Krominal > Dandrath Deninard WOuld you like to obtain a permit so we dont have to do this again in the future?
Dandrath Deninard > well if I just quit and don't bother playing I won't need a permit
Keraina Talie-Kuo > That's one option I suppose
Keraina Talie-Kuo > For only 10m though, youll be good to mine in all New Order space for one year however
Keraina Talie-Kuo > I personally feel its a better porposition than your solution
Dandrath Deninard > hey just got back to the game seems somethings never change
venture thebros > good ole sandbox games^^
Dandrath was faced with the same choice that all miners must make: Buy a New Order permit or quit mining. Or quit the game. Kalorned urged Dandrath to buy a permit. Worst case scenario, Dandrath could buy a permit and then quit the game.
Dandrath Deninard > you just blew up my ship I would say you got your 10 mil and then some
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Sure I did
Keraina Talie-Kuo > However that was punishment for not being compliant in the first place
Keraina Talie-Kuo > You still owe 10m ISK, the ISK has to be voluntarily paid to make the permit valid
Dandrath Deninard > seems to me you could have asked first
Attention all highsec miners: Consider this your official request. Pay up. If you don't send an Agent isk after reading this, you are considered non-compliant and subject to immediate termination.
Keraina Talie-Kuo > You already knew
Dandrath Deninard > like I said was away from the game
Keraina Talie-Kuo > After all, you supported The Code by way of voting for JAmes 315 as Saviour of High Sec
venture thebros > krom im disipointed u usally give them 20 secs or so before u blow them up
Krominal > venture thebros times are tough
Krominal > Something the rebels don't realize is that their resistance ham strings my ability to be more lenient
Kalorned pointed out a tragic side effect of the rebellion: It makes our Agents more likely to shoot quickly, so no one can interfere with the gank. Those rebels owe their fellow miners an apology.
Dandrath Deninard > when did this vote happen?
Leonidas Therm > it didnt its a troll
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Dandrath Deninard June 2012
Dandrath Deninard > yup well I was away from the game....mmmm wonder how I managed to vote
venture thebros > lol man they need a shrine to him in jita then ^^
Keraina Talie-Kuo > James 315 Voted on your behalf via proxy for himself
Dandrath Deninard > lol sounds like a dictater
venture thebros > hansome jack stile
Keraina Talie-Kuo > Well, James 315 is handsome
Keraina Talie-Kuo > I'll give you that
Borderland 2's main villian is a fellow named Handsome Jack. Dandrath made a novel comparison. I guess Handsome Jack can't be worse than Hitler, can he?

Despite his dazzling victories, Kalorned's work still wasn't done. He killed a fail-fit miner with a Gistii A-Type Small Shield Booster...

...And a Michi's Excavation Augmentor. The augmentor may be Michi's, but highsec is the New Order's. Just something you might want to think about the next time you're going over your shopping list in Jita.

At the end of it all, Kalorned felt truly blessed. He knew he had done good things for the bot-aspirants that day. If you're ever feeling overwhelmed by the amount of need in highsec, just remember, it's one day at a time. One carebear at a time, one explosion at a time. No miner left behind!


  1. I think my first fit in the game while still in a noob system was better than that last one.

  2. Wow, Kalorned is something of a poet this post.

    ---Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

  3. kill of these procurer with this:

    medium shield 2 x 2
    inv 2 x 2
    dcu 2
    extender rig x 3

    oh wait... you cant. requires talent.

    1. You're right, it takes talent and a lot of firepower to kill a procurer because CCP essentially gave you a helmet and a pair of nice, round-edged safety scissors by baking all that extra HP right into the hull for ya.

      Some non-compliant vessels are higher priority than others, but don't worry, the Order is growing all the time, we'll get around to killing even the dunce-cap vessels you're talking about.


    2. I think I've got a skiff kill somewhere
      a pair of t2 gank talos can put out around 55k in 18s

    3. Hardly.
      CCP nerved highsec ganking to give miners more protection.
      So gank more, get nerved more. Cry more griefer tears.
      tough guy oink?
      look for some real game (PvP in lowsec/highsec), instead of trying other ppl how to play the game.

    4. Anon 4:42's fit is so effective at stopping ganks he posted with his in-game name... oh wait, he didn't...

      Guess he isn't that confident it can't be ganked...

    5. @Zazz
      Ahh so what do wanna imply? If the miners hide in anonymity its cowerdice, if you dimwits do it and switch between alts more often then you change your underware, its honorous gameplay tactic?
      yeah well, thats why you are called hypocrits.

    6. I post on my main and gank on her as well, who you calling a coward?

    7. anon 12:54 your tears make awesome lube

  4. Oh and before the idiots jump out of cover:
    I dont tell you how to play the game, i tell you that you shall not tell others.
    thats a difference some of you wanna-be literates obviously cant grasp.

    1. Indeed while you do not tell us how. By your definition, all the corporations and alliances, even coalitions that have any shred of rules of operation are telling others how to play the game. Like Provi Bloc, they have an NRDS policy, that means they are telling others how to play the game by limiting who they can and cannot aggress.

      Plus, the nerf to ganking only came about because of the career AFKers that wanted to continue to play EVE like a single player game so they could continue to "play" EVE off on their own without any sort of interaction.

      ---Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

  5. @Alistair Drake
    Do you realise what kind of nonsense you are writing?
    Not the "career AFKers" nerved that, CCP did.
    And miners do Group-Play but they don't have to have Groupseks every minute. You know, like singleplayer PvP.
    I mean, you must have heard of that, guys that actualy shooting at others guys, that can defend them self?

    1. Yes, but that is not the only kind of PVP, anything where you are competing against another player is PVP, that's why the term Marktet PVP exists.

      And since when did I say the career AFKers nerfed it themselves? I said it came about because of them, that is intended to imply CCP caved on the issue.

      Plus, I never said they never do group play. Its the ones that want to AFK their way through the game that I was talking about. Believe me if I was to go mining with a group that worked to keep each other engaged while doing what I see as a horribly mind-numbing activity, I'd honestly think that would be the best thing in the world.

      Plus, the non-consensual PVP concept, where I could shoot at someone who may not have a chance to shoot back, that's just a case of wrong place at the wrong time for them. That would also invalidate many of the null conflicts too, where lag can get you killed before you even fire a shot.

      I think you have a rather strong concept of e-bushido going on here.

    2. We're not forcing these people to fly in undefended ships, it's their choice. Like the guy above said, if all the miners decided to fly around in brick tanked skiffs and procurers then ganking would become quite a bit more difficult. But the miners decide not to. They can go for yield fittings if they want to but the price to do so is following the CODE (not being afk) and buying a permit, though some tank still wouldn't hurt...

    3. Got a chuckle from seeing formerjunkie's corp is "soul destroyers". See? Even non-compliant miners admit, even in their corp names, the detrimental effect on themselves of what they're doing.

    4. You keep using the word "nerve".. did someone touch one on you?

  6. Alexandriana HelveticaJune 24, 2014 at 12:26 AM

    I've been reading these for months, slowly catching up with NO's history. I have to say I'm disappointed that no one has dropped the Handsome Jack bomb before! Alas, the carebears always deliver gold in the end!


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