Saturday, February 15, 2014

Rebel Intel Network Breached, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping...

Agent Jer'ith Bodas began spying on the Anti-Code Intel channel. Once inside the channel, he was able to deliver us insights into the brains behind the anti-Order resistance in highsec.
EVE System > Channel MOTD:
Confired code members / affiliates
Kalorned Krominal Kyrsten Dethehal Keraina Talie-Kuo Elpacino Frank Isemann2 Ophidia Black Slaveflogger Gall Lady Mariko James Weatherbee KrazyTaco
Confirmed Code Code Corps
Please Mail Kayura Pacht-Feng with any additions to the above list,
This channel is for INTEL ONLY do not discus anythaing else in this channel. Post only Pilot, Location, Ship Type. NO spewing CODE scams in this channel, you will be booted.
Jer'ith found the anti-Order sentiments expressed in the channel MOTD to be disturbing, but he put those feelings aside. He had chosen this mission, and he knew it wouldn't be pretty. However, after a very long time, all he found in the channel was silence. Either the resistance didn't have any intelligence, or they were all AFK. Then, at length, a rebel spoke up.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > The CODE is talked about with great reverence by the people who enforce it.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > But how seriously can you take it when one of its most referenced parts was ripped off from a childrens magazine.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > You might be familiar with the goofus and gallant bit that often makes it into James's minerbumping posts
Maxmillian Rokatansky > Straight out of Highlights magazine
Maxmillian Rokatansky > the so called leader of hi -sec steals material from a childrens magazine to put in his holy manifesto
Maxmillian Rokatansky > Yup hes got my vote for CSM
There was some evidence to suggest that Maxmillian was correct. The "Goofus and Gallant" feature of Highlights magazine dates back to the 1940s, well before the creation of the Code. In searching online for an example, I found one whose yellowed pages and faded ink suggest it is very old. Yet it is strikingly relevant to the world of EVE today:

It doesn't take much imagination to see that one of these young lads would grow up to give a "gf" in local after getting ganked, while the other would prepare a nasty EVEmail.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > hey hey anti code inell hows everyone doin tonight?
Maxmillian Rokatansky > man tough crowd tonight
Maxmillian Rokatansky > Its no wonder that this intel channel is openly mocked by the agents of the New Order
The next day, the rebel spoke up again. He was bitterly disappointed by his fellow rebels' inactivity. Then, out of nowhere, he called Jer'ith out!
Maxmillian Rokatansky > but while were on the subject lets see if we can get some imput from the CODE represenative that is with us tonite
Maxmillian Rokatansky > Jer'ith Bodas care to comment?
Jer'ith Bodas > Me? A code representative?
Jer'ith Bodas > Whatever would give you that idea?
Maxmillian Rokatansky > aha
Maxmillian Rokatansky > because this intel channel is so completly worth less that only you guys would speak up in it
Jer'ith told me that at this moment, he knew he'd been caught red-handed. Even the rebel knew that only a New Order Agent would actually be at his keyboard.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > funny isnt it
Maxmillian Rokatansky > James seems to be a gifted writer
Maxmillian Rokatansky > a bit longwinded on some subjects
Jer'ith Bodas > You sound like you're coming around to the New Order's side
Maxmillian Rokatansky > what gives you that idea
Jer'ith Bodas > Well you seem to be an intellegent person, most of them end up on the New Order's side of the line
Maxmillian Rokatansky > Ive noticed that
Maxmillian Rokatansky > it is unfortunate
The resistance tries to present a united front, but the reality is that most of them are deeply unhappy. They're only one "Eureka!" moment away from switching sides.
Jer'ith Bodas > Makes one wonder why they would bother with anti-ganking in the first place
Jer'ith Bodas > Then again, I'd be surprized if anyone in here was actually willing to act on any "anti-Code intel" that was shared in here
Maxmillian Rokatansky > these guys idea of intel is " ganker 1 and ganker 2 just met up with ganker 3 and I think they're talkin about gankin someone"
Jer'ith Bodas > Heh
Maxmillian Rokatansky > anti ganking is not a viable tactic either
Maxmillian Rokatansky > to much waiting around to kill a guy who planned on loseing his ship anyway
The rebel admitted it was useless to try to stop the New Order from ganking Code-violators. Jer'ith wondered why Maxmillian bothered, then. He got him to open up.
Maxmillian Rokatansky > but there lies one of the reasons i decided to align myself against you guys
Jer'ith Bodas > ?
Maxmillian Rokatansky > if i want to start up my mining lasers and go take a crap then thats what im gonna do
Jer'ith Bodas > I've never had any problems, just get a permit and follow the Code
Maxmillian Rokatansky > thats the easy way my friend
Jer'ith Bodas > And why would someone choose the hard way?
These are the motives of the resistance. Take note!
Maxmillian Rokatansky > think of it like this
Maxmillian Rokatansky > how many stories have you heard about pilots not knowing which direction to go in this universe
Maxmillian Rokatansky > then they discover the code
Maxmillian Rokatansky > and find their direction
Maxmillian Rokatansky > ive heard that alot
Jer'ith Bodas > Wouldnt' that be a good thing?
Maxmillian Rokatansky > and my story is similar
Maxmillian Rokatansky > but i went the other direction
Even the rebellion recognizes the importance of the New Order in today's society. Maxmillian's decision to fight us rather than join us seems to be arbitrary, aside from the bathroom issue.

Isabel Silverhand > Jer'ith Bodas dude i went to the bathroom and he blew away two of my Hulks so the new order can bite me
Jer'ith Bodas > Who did?
Robert Silverhand > Who else his two hi sec gankes
Jer'ith Bodas > ?
Robert Silverhand > Kalorned Keraina Talie-Kuo those two
Jer'ith Bodas > Did you have a permit?
Robert Silverhand > -10 he use them to gank in Hi-Sec
Robert Silverhand > no and i am not getting one either
The New Order has always been crystal clear on its policy about miners going AFK to relieve themselves. Some urge us to moderate our position, but we stay true to our principles. To our Code.

The New Order does its work in the light of day, for the whole world to see. The rebels skulk in the shadows. Still, each day the highsec community learns more about both the Order and the resistance. And the more they learn, the more they side with the New Order.


  1. "Either the resistance didn't have any intelligence, or they were all AFK."
    Not mutually exclusive.

    "Maxmillian Rokatansky > because this intel channel is so completly worth less that only you guys would speak up in it"

    "Jer'ith Bodas > Is this a new fetish among the mining community or something - mining dirty?"

    But the best joke of all is in the post title: "Rebel Intel"

  2. Oh god, I had forgotten how funny James 315's miner 'bathroom policy' post was. It almost had me in tears.

    A classic that belongs on a future 'Best of James 315' album.
    -Herr Wilkus-

  3. The resistance will prevail. Beware the 1st of march.

    1. I love how these movements always refer to some random future date. It's a nice touch

    2. Well at least they're not using the tired old beware the ides of march

  4. Max sounds like a reasonable player, one that will eventually become a New Order Agent himself most likely. He's clearly interested in PvP, and linking that to some RP element- be it Anti-New Order or whatever. He's more disappointed in the lack of anti-Order activity than the fact the Order exists and warrants such 'activity' in the first place.
    A player in search of a reason to do what he does in Eve. The New Order is exactly what he's looking for. Work alone, work with friends, create content for yourself, have something to 'fight for' rather than just to compare kill boards.
    Our greatest victory will be that many New Order agents will have come to our cause (or create their own) from the very ranks of the anti-Order wannabe movements themselves.

  5. I am a highsec carebear. Though I run level four missions and do not mine, and though I never play AFK, this wonderful site has opened my eyes and shaken my very soul. I knew I was missing an important ingredient in my EVE experience, but I never understood what. Now I do: I had sacrificed my very humanity in the pursuit of mere ISK.

    The cynical calculations and spreadsheet work that 'informed' my ISK/hr estimations are now giving way to the prediction of how many Catalysts I can purchase for the price of my egregious Raven Navy Issue. Indeed this vessel has come to symbolize the very playstyle I abhor, and I even think of suiciding it against a Code-violating Retriever in a gigantic firestorm of personal redemption, to celebrate my conversion. Stay tuned, heroes, a new missionary stands ready to join your ranks.

    1. Hell yeah, buddy! Take the plunge! Focus focus on your fun/hr ratio and you'll wonder how you ever did things differently.

  6. Your story really struck me. My son and I are both writers. We have pulled our talent together to create our first novel. He was 10 at the time we wrote the book.


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