Thursday, March 27, 2014

Heart of Blackness, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Arden Elenduil joined a highsec mining corp called BLACKHEARTSGAMING. He witnessed them violating the Code and was forced to destroy their AFK mining op with his Claymore. After inflicting a couple billion isk in damages, he was counter-attacked by the BLACKHEARTSGAMING PvP fleet. He wiped them out.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ya he doesnt ever get a world cup team to watch
InsanePostman > ha
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Whens the last time belgium qualified?
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Lol
Arden Elenduil > actually, our team is one of the poule leaders
Arden Elenduil > this time
Chainsstyle Arnerette > lol
Chainsstyle Arnerette > 1/100 years
An awkward situation developed. Arden was still a member of the corp. Rather than accepting him as their new leader, they criticized Arden for being Belgian.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Irrelevant cuntry
InsanePostman > ugly people thats for sure
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I mean belgium is such an irrelevant country that 95% of Americans dont realize it exists yet this guy leanrs our language fluently lol
Arden Elenduil > not your language actually
Arden Elenduil > it originated in the UK
Arden was perplexed by the sudden emergence of BLACKHEARTSGAMING bigotry. Had it been there all along? Is this what highsec carebears do when they can no longer spend their time AFK mining?
FistRockbone > last I checked, we spell our words differently, talk differently, and most importantly dont speak the same language as the cheese eating surrender monkeys
Arden Elenduil > those monkeys you speak of would be the french, not the british ^^
FistRockbone > duh. and belgians speak french. figure it out smarty
Arden Elenduil > we speak dutch actually
Arden Elenduil > at least in flanders
Hadion Gorath > still a horrible country
The New Order is like Eve University, only educational. Arden had taught the bot-aspirants so much about EVE, and now he was sharing his knowledge of Europe. But Arden's priority remained on target: He wanted to deliver his corpmates from bot-aspirancy.
Arden Elenduil > as i was saying
Arden Elenduil > before the velator interrupted me
Arden Elenduil > if you provide me with some isk or a medal
Arden Elenduil > i shall leave the corp
Chainsstyle Arnerette > How about this
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I will pay pal you some money to buy a dildo
Arden tried to jolt the carebears out of their subroutines with an appeal to emergent gameplay. Like the 10 million isk mining fee, a medal is a small thing. But because it is emergent rather than programmed into the game, bot-aspirants have difficulty with it. It requires humanity to understand.
Arden Elenduil > oh, and if you were wondering
Arden Elenduil > the reason for all this is because you didn't adhere to the new halaima code of conduct
Arden Elenduil > too bad
Arden Elenduil > but as an agent of the new order, i was forced to intervene
InsanePostman > well i'd give yah a cookie but i dont have any.
Arden Elenduil > a medal will do just fine
Arden Elenduil > all i'm asking for is 250 mil
Arden Elenduil > or a 20 mil medal
WhiteHeart > Cowards that can only gank and run from any real battle don't deserve even deserve shit.
Speaking of subroutines! WhiteHeart leaned upon the old rebel line that the New Order is unable to fight ships that can fight back. Yet, at the time WhiteHeart said this, Arden had already solo'ed the corp's Rokh, Rattlesnake, and Gnosis, all of which were brought into battle with the intention of fighting back. WhiteHeart himself was the Gnosis pilot. It didn't matter that Arden had destroyed their combat ships; the rebels simply couldn't process a reality that didn't fit their programming.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > we want you to stay in the corp buddy
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We can forgive you
Chainsstyle Arnerette > you wanna go on an op with us again later? all you gotta do is promise not to do that again
Arden Elenduil > your concern is touching, but that 250 mil is all i'm interested in now
Chainsstyle Arnerette > well why would I pay you to leave
Chainsstyle Arnerette > If I want you to stay?
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Thats like asking your girlfriend to fuck another guy
Chainsstyle Arnerette > which you weird european fucks probably partake in
Arden Elenduil > alright then, meet me at the asteroid belt
Chainsstyle, the self-described "hymen slayer", was still sore about the loss of his Mackinaw and Capsule. Arden was willing to participate in a duel, but Chainsstyle swiftly changed his mind about a confrontation.
Chainsstyle Arnerette > this is
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Not in your jurisdiction
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We are reportiung to your superiors
Arden Elenduil > actually, it is
Chainsstyle Arnerette > not on your maps on your site
Arden Elenduil > you are code violators, and thus must be punished
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Code only pertains to your systems
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Reporting you to your leaders
No longer confident of his combat ability, the former Mackinaw pilot switched gears. He would argue the Code.
Arden Elenduil > indeed, it does
Arden Elenduil > but our systems are highsec
Arden Elenduil > all of highsec
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I saw the map
Chainsstyle Arnerette > You clearly violated your own code
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Which makes you a fraud
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Taken right from the code
Arden Elenduil > and which systems would be ours then?
InsanePostman > http://www.minerbumping.com/p/maps.html
Chainsstyle Arnerette > There is YOUR map
BLACKHEARTSGAMING took a sudden interest in the law of the New Order. Space-lawyering aside, this is a good sign. It means a carebear no longer denies the existence or importance of the Code. He has bought into the system; he recognizes that he must adapt to the New Order's authority.
Arden Elenduil > ah, but those are simply operational maps
Arden Elenduil > the territory of the new order is in fact, all of highsec
Chainsstyle Arnerette > ok well we will see what your leadership has to say about that
Arden Elenduil > feel free to contact them
Chainsstyle Arnerette > already did
Arden Elenduil > i'm afraid your petition will be in vain
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Its not a petition
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Its reporting agents violating their own rules
Arden Elenduil > http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2739/8ve.gif


Arden took pity on the miners as they continued to lie to his face. I can't speak to anyone else associated with the New Order, but I haven't been contacted by BLACKHEARTSGAMING. Could it be that carebears lie about petitioning New Order authorities, just as they sometimes lie about petitioning CCP?
FistRockbone > All those who mine within "the territory of the New Order" are deemed to have agreed to obey the New Halaima Code of Conduct. "the territory of the new order" is a link to the maps page which outlines what territory the new order covers.
FistRockbone > do show me where we are on it
FistRockbone > it specifically says we have to be in these territories to have agreed to the terms
Arden Elenduil > those are also very old maps
FistRockbone > point? without updating your code, you are in violation of it
Arden Elenduil > trust me when i say that the territory of the new order is much larger than you think
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Lol "trust me"
Chainsstyle Arnerette > #1 sign someone is lying
Chainsstyle Arnerette > We are sending in your screen shots of you lying to us as well lol
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Anyway emailing that all off... you have fun floating in a belt.
BLACKHEARTSGAMING miners continued to argue about the extent of New Order territories. I'm not sure where they got the idea that the New Order is still limited to Halaima and its neighbors. Those familiar with our earliest history know that after a set of secure containers was attacked (but not destroyed) in Kamio, I exercised emergency powers to expand our territory to more defensible borders. Specifically, the New Order annexed the entirety of highsec. And we never looked back.
Arden Elenduil > i'll still be in the corp however, until you pay the required amount of isk/give me a medal
D34DCARN4G3 > nope
Chainsstyle Arnerette > Great that means you cant join another lol
Arden Elenduil > oh no worries, i have several characters
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I am sure you do
Chainsstyle Arnerette > I am sure you look inbred like most other europeans as well
Arden Elenduil > now now
D34DCARN4G3 > Hey drop corp\
Arden Elenduil > i will not
D34DCARN4G3 > woops sorry
D34DCARN4G3 > no you can stay
D34DCARN4G3 > everyone elsa Drop corp


BLACKHEARTSGAMING's fearless leader, pictured above, advised everyone in the corporation to drop corp. It was the only way to escape Arden's wrath without having to pay for a medal. However, cooler heads prevailed, and Arden was contacted by a BLACKHEARTSGAMING negotiator.
Kenja Utso > So what do you want?
Arden Elenduil > 250 mil or a medal
Kenja Utso > you took out 2 bill worth on us. Why should we
Arden Elenduil > 3.55b actually, and because otherwise i might cause even more damage
Kenja Utso > Done and done
Arden Elenduil > docking now
Kenja Utso > Thank you for standing by your word
Arden Elenduil > feel free to kick
Kenja Utso > Thank you
Arden Elenduil > "tips hat"
The negotiation went well, with BLACKHEARTSGAMING giving into Arden's demands, and Arden letting them. How else would a negotiation with a New Order Agent go? The New Order always wins.


Honour, dignity, respect, courage... These are the things that thinking people associate with the New Order. We wear the badges with pride. You'll never meet a finer group of people in highsec.

16 comments:

  1. A stunning conclusion. well done! My EvE has no place for disrespectful bores, thanks for keeping space clean for the true Gallants!

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  2. Is it true that pilot who's kicked out of the corp will stay in corp until he docks or until downtime happens, whatever comes first?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You can't kick them until they dock or log off. So even after downtime if they get online before anyone in the corp they will remain a member.

      Delete
  3. Excellent! Wear that badge with pride.

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha D34DCARN4G3.. that is high in the running for stupidest name in eve. must be a bunch of kids.

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    Replies
    1. No shit. "Hymen-Slayer".

      -ZK-

      Delete
  5. This shows one thing: The maps page confuses carebears.
    I think it needs to be updated to something they can understand.

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  6. Along with all the other lies and misinformation, the medal is a lie. Arden Elenduil is a friend to Bad Touches and would be welcome in our corp any time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. "BLACKHEARTSGAMING miners continued to argue about the extent of New Order territories. I'm not sure where they got the idea that the New Order is still limited to Halaima and its neighbors. Those familiar with our earliest history know that after a set of secure containers was attacked (but not destroyed) in Kamio, I exercised emergency powers to expand our territory to more defensible borders. Specifically, the New Order annexed the entirety of highsec. And we never looked back."

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  8. This has been an amazing series, excellent work Arden, keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. "I'm not sure where they got the idea that the New Order is still limited to Halaima and its neighbors. Those familiar with our earliest history know that after a set of secure containers was attacked (but not destroyed) in Kamio, I exercised emergency powers to expand our territory to more defensible borders. Specifically, the New Order annexed the entirety of highsec. And we never looked back."

    Yet its all but defensible, until in every region there are agents that will uphold the code.
    James Its time for "I had A dream", a dream wich you are carrieng out yet your agents and knight can't uphold.

    You wish to save high sec while your agents and knight only want to see it burn.
    Either you're lying or you can't controll your agents.

    And please do feed me more tears im so hungry for ganker tears.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gankers should address their tears to "anonymous space lawyer".

      Delete
    2. New Order Gankers do not have tears.

      Delete
  10. "He wiped them out." That's a joke right there. If you're in a claymore, but need not one but TWO neutral reps to kill unprepared care bears, who come at you one at a time, that's a joke. The code is just hot air and bullshit you all have latched onto because it distracts people from the real issue, you are all weak and need something to fill that hole inside of you.

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  11. P.S. Real men gank because they want to. They don't need pussy whipped codes to hide behind.

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  12. Just imagine the impact if more agents shared Arden's professionalism and ruthless efficiency; all of the rhetoric and drama pervading the Order just feeds the carebears' unwillingness to comply.

    ReplyDelete

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