Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Jetliner Bumping, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping...

sohkar became a household name--outside of Dark Aether Operations corp and Turing Tested alliance, which hired him as these MinerBumping posts were going up. Despite being given the chance to win isk at a rate of 1 billion isk per song, sohkar vented his rage against Erotica 1 and everyone who knows her. He repeatedly violated the Code with his obscenities and odious racial epithets. Yet the Bonus Room team remained calm and professional, and somehow managed to be courteous to sohkar.

Sohkar Bonus Round SoundCloud
Kalorned's timestamped annotations
Scorpion Venom1 > are the rules for brushing your teeth written down on your bathroom mirror?
Boom Boom Longtime > sohkar it seems the only hurdles preventing you riding to glory seem to be the ones you are putting up yourself
sohkar > they are written on the package of the troothbrush i buy
sohkar > and toothpaste
sohkar > there are directions on the package
Erotica 1 > I've never looked lol
sohkar > yeah unlike u they dont make the shit up as they go along
sohkar confessed that he'd lost all faith in Erotica. He demanded to see the written rules for the game. He would not sing.
Erotica 1 > sohkar you are beyond your self-imposed deadline
Erotica 1 > so you choose failure?
Erotica 1 > I would like to sleep myself
Erotica 1 > but I have stayed up for you
Crazey Monkey > sohkar are you still here?
Erotica 1 > sohkar I suggest you go to sleep
Erotica 1 > and wake up with no isk
Erotica 1 > that is what you want anyway
Erotica 1 > sohkar I am going to bed. I have wasted too much time trying to help you.
sohkar > you didnt waste shit u took advantage of a play and u get ur shits and giggles off that dont worry on the first of the month enjoy my tax money
All of sohkar's in-game assets remained in the hands of Erotica and her assistants. If he refused to follow the rules, that is where they would remain. sohkar was repeatedly told how he could get his money back and become a big winner, but all he was interested in doing was cursing.
Scorpion Venom1 > sohkar thanks, im getting my obamaphone tomorrow
Scorpion Venom1 > i hope its bugged so i can talk about how taxes need to be raised on all the air traffic controlers in the nation
sohkar > u do know obama supports the controlers since we are a union and on no they blocked a 1% raise
sohkar > i already make in the 6 figures i will do ok without it
Crazey Monkey > Obama is also missunderstood IMO
sohkar > obama is a piece of shit just like all of u
sohkar had no love for his president or his Bonus Room patron. He became a nihilist, believing in nothing. How could anyone help him now?
Erotica 1 >
Erotica 1 > is this an industry problem?
sohkar > it might be
sohkar > but remember done 3 tours in Iraq too so sure that doesnt help my anger issues
Erotica 1 > yes I would be mad at Bush too
sohkar > sure and obama made it worst
Erotica 1 > stop being so angry at the world
sohkar > he scams middle class peopel out of the money just like u scamed me out of all my shit and isk
sohkar > that why u like obama
sohkar finally admitted that he might have some anger issues. Like the rest of the highsec carebears, he claimed to be a war veteran who needed to grind isk AFK to steady his nerves.
Erotica 1 > You are just racist
Erotica 1 > like you made clear on ts
sohkar > nigger means ignorant person and thats how i was using it
Erotica 1 > right....
Erotica 1 > sohkar why are you so angry ovr so little isk you are walking away from if you are so well off?
Erotica 1 > Here's what I think
Erotica 1 > I think the piddly amount of isk you had was a lot to you
sohkar > well u might piddy my isk but some of us play a honest game and doesnt not try to scam people out of isk
sohkar defended his use of racial slurs while at the same time taking the moral high ground in EVE as an "honest" player. Rebels, enemies, and skeptics of the New Order, behold your champion.
Erotica 1 > is it a lot of isk or are you making six figures
sohkar > i do make 6 figures but i dont by plex just for isk
sohkar > sorry i only spend my monthly charge of the game to play
sohkar > and dont scam people out of what htey have
Erotica 1 > I pay with what I earn in game
sohkar > no u dont u play with what u stole and when u can show me i was the 100th without u making shit up that i was then ur a scam
Although he claimed to earn at least $100,000 each year, sohkar's in-game wealth was limited due to his refusal to purchase PLEX. Now he would have no choice but to start over from scratch, unless he could manage to pull off a long-shot win in the bonus round.
Erotica 1 > I'd rather see you win, but I don't understand why you want so badly to fail
Erotica 1 > You don't come in here and start demanding things
Erotica 1 > you were 100th client
sohkar > how do u prove i was
sohkar > ur word is nothing worth shit
Erotica 1 > I don't have to prove anything to you
Boom Boom Longtime > sohkar given the foul and abusive language you use i must say you come across as an unsavoury individual
sohkar > do you think i give a shit u have
sohkar was very focused on getting proof that he was the 100th client, but he didn't want to act like a 100th client. He continued to rail against the very same people who held all of his assets.
Erotica 1 > those who can deal with my challenges win a lot of isk
sohkar > yeah u keep saying that but i think ur full of shit
Erotica 1 > You have been complaining for hours
Erotica 1 > like a child with a temper tantrum
sohkar > no now i am just bored and keeping u up makes me happy since i took leave from work tomorrow where i will still get paid
Erotica 1 > so since you have the day off, lets get you and your lovely wife back in ts
sohkar > no
Air travelers everywhere breathed a collective sigh of relief when sohkar called his work and told them he would need to take a day off. I would recommend this course of action to any air traffic controller who participates in one of Erotica's bonus rounds. They tend to end with the participant's adrenaline pumping, whether it's because they just won a huge amount of money, or because the other thing happened.
Bao Xi > How is everybody doing?
Erotica 1 > wonderful!
Bao Xi > Excellent!
Bao Xi > I see that our friend sohkar is here! Did he decide to stick around and get his big payout??
Erotica 1 > he took the day off!
Bao Xi > Excellent! Then we can proceed with the bonus room!
KnowUsByTheDead > I just logged for a little. I heard he was a crybaby. Y'know...thru the grapevine. Does he have the stones to continue?
KnowUsByTheDead > It's supposed to be a partnership, sohkar
KnowUsByTheDead > C'mon, man.
News of sohkar's bonus round attracted more traffic to the Bonus Room. Everyone loves a high-stakes game. Although the out-of-game stakes were a bit lower now that sohkar wasn't going to be directing airplanes for at least a day, the tension was still high.
Boom Boom Longtime > How much of a payout can he expect if he completes the game?
Boom Boom Longtime > I'm willing to add to the pot if we can move towards completing the game
Erotica 1 > sohkar you were so very close to winning
KnowUsByTheDead > Not sure, seems I came in after he already lost faith. Such a tragedy. I too, will add to the payout. 2bil on top of whatever he is at before the multiplier and the 30%.
Luckily for sohkar, more people were willing to throw some money into the pot. Wouldn't it be incredible if the day ended with sohkar's wallet filling with cash? And apologies and hugs and non-racist remarks exchanged?
Erotica 1 > sohkar appears to be afk and does not want to win, as he only curses at us and stomps his feet
Erotica 1 > well, I tried. Good night everyone
unknown clown > nighty night
KnowUsByTheDead > Night Ero o/
Erotica 1 > sohkar goodnight, sweet dreams!
It was not to be. sohkar committed his final Code violation, the alpha and omega of highsec crimes: He went AFK. As a result, all of sohkar's money and EVE possessions went AFsohkar.

Although the bonus round didn't go as planned, the experience should teach us all a valuable lesson. sohkar is a litmus test. If you thought sohkar was the hero of the story, it might be time for you to read the Code again. sohkar demanded a set of written rules to follow, but he wouldn't follow the ones he had. Unmoored from the Code, he found himself ruled by his own worst instincts. He mistreated everyone in the Bonus Room, but only managed to hurt himself.

Don't be sohkar. Don't be Goofus.


  1. If I were in a plane approaching Heathrow Airport, I'd rather have the cool and collected Erotica 1 in the Control Tower than this jerk.


    1. BeBopAReBop RhubarbPieMarch 5, 2014 at 9:29 PM

      I'd be worried about the pilot of the plane getting distracted by winning a bonus round while in approach. That might not end well.

  2. These dumbasses who fall for this bonus room nonsense get what they deserve but I have to think that if I ever read that we lost EROTICA to some deadly disease I wouldn't blink. Some people are just deserving of karma for taking advantage of the stupid. He would be one.

    1. That's terrible of you to say. Go back and read the Code again Goofus. I would certainly hope CCP would give us something like an Erotica doll or charm we could take with us on every gank for good luck.

    2. Anon 10:47pm you should really know that wishing bad things to happen to a real person, because of a computer game, makes you come across as whiny.

      People don't enter the Bonus room because they are stupid, they are hopeful and excited. Some people are greedy but don't want to work for their bonus win fall, because in their eyes if they do something fun it will make them look silly, instead of brave and comfortable with their personality.

    3. Because people with honor and respect shoot people over video games... We should turn you into the police in case something happens to Ero.

    4. @ anom 12:17

      Because they're hiding, and all the manly players play eve via some more masculine medium, or join the air force or something. If they were brave they wouldn't take advantage of people, because taking advantage of people has everything to do with cowardice. Honor and respect is completely and necessarily devoid in anyone who does something you don't agree with, by default. Can you even imagine a world without this beautiful logic, the source of every goofus justification that has ever plagued the playerbase?

    5. Hmm, so let me paraphrase anon 12:17: "Shooting people in a spaceship shooting game is dishonorable and disrespectful. Shooting people or beating them up in real life is ok..."

      Very backwards if you ask me.

      (and these rebels somehow see THEMSELVES as the good guys...)

    6. @Zazz

      Yeah, I don't think some of these people understand that there are very real consequences with even threatening RL harm on others through EVE. Not until it actually happens to them that is, that's a problem I'm seeing a lot actually.

      ---Friendly Neighborhood Scoundrel

    7. @ AnonymousMarch 6, 2014 at 12:17 AM

      Wow, you are such a Brave Person posting as Anonymous. I tell you what, drop me a message and I can send you my address. We can make arrangements when I am off shift and don't have my duty weapons on me so you can fulfill you BS fantasy, you F______ Coward. I show you what respect and honor is all about, clown

  3. Oh my, I had my fingers crossed for sohkar hoping he'd stay the course and walk out a big winner. So desperately sad to see him lose faith not only in Erotica 1 and the Code, but in himself. I can only hope future bonus room clients can learn from sohkar's self-immolation on the pyre of doubt.

    1. if you think anybody has ever won anything off that bonus then you are sadly mistaken. erotica is just like the rest of them and nothing but a pack of trolls. show proof of a past winner and people would think diffrently but as long as ive been around there hasnt been one and there really isnt going to be one. all of the NO just hide behind their computers and treat people like shit because they have nothing better to do and it gives them a sense of superiority.

    2. That's funny coming from an anonymous poster on the internet.


      You are sadly mistaken Mr. Carebear. Try reading this site and keeping up instead of assuming.

    4. James 315 is superior. That's why he was chosen to be saviour of highsec. If you were a better choice, you would have been chosen. But you were not. I just wish I could buy the Code in a nice printed edition along with volumes of articles, leatherbound of course. It would make an awesome monthly mailing.

    5. Nothing better to do? How dare you sir! There is no higher calling, and hisec is worth saving.

    6. There is no way highsec is worth saving. It's a cesspool of eternal pestilence. If you believe you have cleansed it, you've really only become accustomed to the putrid stench. Say, don't all you supporters of James 315 live in highsec? I thought I could smell something....

    7. David, all the problems in Highsec stem from people giving up the fight for it and leaving. All those that remain are the cancer of carebears and those wishing to improve the world. Maybe some of the stench could be removed if you helped out?

  4. Oh god, not another erotica 1 story. Can we get back to blowing up orcas please?

    1. Hearing Russian air traffic controllers blow up over space money is pretty damn funny too.

    2. Are you not entertained?

  5. "sohkar > nigger means ignorant person and thats how i was using it"

    Sohkar's use of the word 'nigger' was explicitly racial - he made references to America's unsavory history of slavery.

    "nigga don't speak. i wanna talk to your master."


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