Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Confession Is Good for the Soul

One of the most important things to keep in mind when you're playing a game like EVE is that the other players aren't just pixels on a screen--they're people. By nature, people are imperfect. They go through rough patches. They struggle. Whom can they turn to in times of crisis? Me, obviously. I'm always there to provide a shoulder to cry on (from a respectful distance).


Haytrid needed to get some things off his chest. He knew the Father of the New Order would understand.


Everyone's EVE career path is different. Some begin the game wrapped in the tentacles of bot-aspirancy. Some never get out of highsec. But for Haytrid, things were good right from the start. He had a sterling, PvP-focused career. He wasn't a stereotypical carebear. If you met him at a barbecue, you'd think he was a swell guy.


Bot-aspirants come in all shapes and sizes. Greed for isk and the slothful appeal of mindless PvE can latch themselves onto people even late in life.


Self-reflection and accountability are important for every EVE player, even those who don't follow the stereotypical carebear career path of "tutorial -> highsec PvE -> quit".


Haytrid hit rock-bottom when he gazed upon the Miner Bingo board and recognized the wretchedness that had overtaken his life. He's sorry, and he means it. He came to the highest authority in highsec seeking forgiveness.


Haytrid, you're welcome, and I forgive you. What the rebels don't understand is that the Agents of the New Order aren't here to bully and harass people. We're here to rescue people. Granted, sometimes the mechanisms by which we rescue people may, on the surface, resemble "griefing" tactics. Look more closely. The carebears we encounter are already submerged in their own grief, just like Haytrid was. Who's gonna save them from that--some guy with an ORE Strip Miner? Or an anti-tanked Orca? Not likely. Those people are AFK and can help no one. When disaster strikes, the people you can depend on are the ones with Stabbers and Catalysts. Our Agents are at their keyboards, standing by, and will happily sell you a permit. It's only 10 million isk for a year. What a deal!

27 comments:

  1. \o/

    - Guybertini

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  2. Carebears forever.

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  3. Welcome back dear brother, i suggest you don the stabber and get to work. Lot of lost time to make up.

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  4. If I do sweat, they are the drops of thy lovers, and they weep for thy death; therefore rouse up fear and trembling, and do observance to my mercy.

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  5. A post for the ages.

    One to link often on the Eve-O forums when the Code is attacked as just a way to grief others and James 315's good name is besmirched.

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  6. A fantastic read. I too, find myself in a similar situation. Having started the game 5 years ago, and being brought out to ZLZ at a very young age, The only life I knew was 0.0 space, back when it was 0.0. Now its a life of highsec games, watching streams of what is going on out there, and that I am not in it saddens me. A tribute story to all of us out there that have succumbed to bot-aspirant behaviour, and as a wake up call.

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  7. Christ on a bike juggling chain saws...I dont know how you Code Monkeys walk around when your lips are super glued to James Butt 24 /7..
    Its got to be a sad damn sight.

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    Replies
    1. Nothing sad at all. The Code is glorious. Come. Join us!

      Delete
    2. I have not personally seen James' butt. But I bet it is gloriously Code compliant.

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    3. You wish your rear-end was half as gorgeous.

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    4. It's just like basking in the glorious warmth of a bright summers day.

      After all, the sun shines out of James butt, so it only goes to follow. All good agents have a healthy tanned glow to their skin and enjoy the good feelings bought on by the constant flow of vitamin D.

      I recommend it to anyone.

      Delete
    5. I dig the 315 because he brings out idiots like gorila :)

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    6. So many replies to troll, so hard to choose.... I know, let's troll them all.

      Tor Norman: The code is a lie, and I will not join you.

      Malcolm Shinhwa: I don't see how having his head up his ass makes him code compliant. It only makes him full of himself.

      Anonymous 6:56 AM: So you mean to tell me that James 315 goes around with his ass bare while he is suffering from HUA syndrome? Good to know, good to know... Besides, if his ass is as bright as you claim it to be, the whole lot of you must have gone blind now which is why you don't see non-code compliant miners mining right under your noses.

      Anonymous 11:16 AM: So you dig the 315 huh? Where do you dig him at? In his mouth or in his ass? Maybe you are fucking him in his eye socket. That's right folks, James 315 takes it in the eye socket. This probably explains why he asks like he's brain damaged. Someone went a little too deep and hit his brain. So, do me a favor: When you lean into his eye socket, let us know which way he wiggles, ok?

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code will fail. The code will fall. A free highsec is worth fighting for.

      P.S. So James, why do you never respond to these posts? Are you a coward or do you not like to play with me?

      Delete
    7. I also dig reading butthurt miner's posts. shine on you crazy diamond!

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  8. So James 315, now I know why you look like such a douchebag in your self idolizing portrait. As it turns out, our esteemed host is suffering from a very rare and often fatal medical condition known as HUA syndrome, also known as "Head Up Ass." Symptoms include toilet breath, smelly hair, hypoxia, and death. Some related symptoms from breathing your own anal fumes include headaches, dizzyness, cluelessness, delusions of grandure, and hallucinations of being the second coming.

    James, as painful as it must be, you must have the strength to pull your head from your ass. Based on what you have written to date, I have concluded that breathing those anal fumes is not healthy for your sanity. So comon James, we know you can do it. We're counting on you.

    This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

    We are many. We are strong. The code will fail. The code will fall. A free highsec is worth fighting for.

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    Replies
    1. I feel compelled to warn you that your posts are neither as trollific nor as high quality as you may think.

      Delete
    2. Your warning has been noted. Besides, I feel compelled to warn you that your posts are pretty weak.

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code will fail. The code will fall. A free highsec is worth fighting for.

      Delete
    3. has anyone seen carebears united in game or is it just a shitposting commentor?

      Delete
    4. Nope. I am in game, and you CODE. monkeys should be getting a wardec notification.

      This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.

      We are many. We are strong. The code will fail. The code will fall. A free highsec is worth fighting for.

      Delete
  9. I think once James gets them to Drink the Cool Aid he must soak his ass in it so when the code monkeys press lips to flesh they get another dose...

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  10. today i read :

    http://gankerbumping.blogspot.de/2014/04/eyes-wide-open-code-lies-part-2.html

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  11. then i created immediatly a new picture (but wasnt able to upload at the side above)

    so i share it here:

    [url=http://www.fotos-hochladen.net][img]http://img5.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/hanslandaarticnkrxi9ulah.jpg[/img][/url]

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    Replies
    1. http://img5.fotos-hochladen.net/uploads/hanslandaarticnkrxi9ulah.jpg

      Delete
    2. Anon at 5:58 PM,
      this is what i thought of reading your post...
      http://media.tumblr.com/4496fe12fbafcacea4769ff8e8846c14/tumblr_inline_mrduzesLW11qz4rgp.gif

      Delete

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