Friday, April 25, 2014

Diplomacy Is Bullying, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Capt Starfox began his diplomatic mission by joining the "Union 416" channel, where the rebels with the slogan "Ganking Is Bullying" hang out. He immediately encountered Raven Eaglefeather, a carebear who compared ganking to real-life "home invasion, rape, and robbery".


There was a bit of cross-talk with multiple conversations taking place concurrently, so we'll begin with Starfox's brief chat with Concordia Mayaki. Like all rebels, Concordia was absolutely convinced the New Order would fail somehow. His evidence that the New Order will die? Because it's growing.


Concordia put his faith in the latest rebel movement, the "Declaration of April 16, 2014". If that movement is forgettable enough that you've forgotten it from yesterday's post, it's the one with all of the "WHEREAS" statements. The one CCP Falcon called repetitive and nonsensical.


Given its inauspicious beginnings, I wouldn't go buying shares of April 16th stock just yet. Concordia wasn't expecting any quick victories, so he was unconcerned about its slow pace. He likes to take his time. He slowly, carefully misspelled the word "eventually".


Occasionally a carebear expresses the rebel belief that the New Order is only one in a long line of groups that have tried to take over highsec and regulate mining activity. However, like the rest of the rebels, Concordia was unable to name any examples besides us. It's almost as if the New Order is a completely new thing. But let's put that aside. It's time to get into the meat of the conversation, and return to our friend Raven Eaglefeather.


Raven believes ganking is potentially criminal, and that real-life space lawyers could reshape the landscape of highsec.


In order to force CCP to buff mining barges again and/or outlaw highsec PvP, there would need to be a catalyst. Not the Gallente destroyer kind of catalyst, though--an inciting incident. An event so dramatic that it pushes Raven's anti-ganking agenda to the forefront.


Raven mused that if someone killed himself in real-life after being ganked by the New Order, that would do the trick. Starfox asked a direct question: Did Raven want that to happen? At this point, of course, the sane, rational, innocent, harmless, good-guy carebear said, "Absolutely not. I don't want anyone to commit suicide, even if it promotes my in-game agenda. I would never want someone to die in real life just so I could safely mine AFK."


...!


Perhaps we shouldn't be shocked by Raven Eaglefeather's attitude. Carebears take their fantasies of PvP-free mining quite seriously. We've seen many cases of highsec miners making death threats because they lost a Mackinaw or whatever. Maybe Raven's position is the logical--albeit hideous--extension of that.


Clearly, Raven has given this a lot of thought. People like Raven make me long for the days when a miner could simply fantasize that CCP would grant their petition against the New Order. I don't like the idea of miners thinking one of their own needs to die for the cause.


What creates a personality like Raven Eaglefeather's? Starfox asked her about her history. Though a new character, she claimed to have played EVE back in its earliest days. She claimed to have been a pirate and PvP'er. Until...


It all began with a single Retriever gank performed by Agent Nerfbat Alden. Naturally, it was completely untanked. That's when Raven's interest in suicidal video game players began.


Capt Starfox was undaunted by his harrowing experience with the cruel, cynical "good guys" of EVE. Now that he knew how warped the carebears have become, Starfox resolved to intensify his efforts at diplomacy.


Sadly, after his revealing conversation with Raven Eaglefeather, Starfox was banned from the channel. But not before he had gained valuable insights about the carebears. Which brings us to the choice that every MinerBumping reader must make. Do you side with the New Order, or with the carebears?

33 comments:

  1. Answer is easy. We side with the saviour of High Sec! Death to all carebears :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nah, even easier, Code members themselves commit suicide after looking at their soul. ;)

      Delete
  2. ....What?

    Grand Theft Auto didn't cause the ESRB to come into existence...it was Mortal Kombat that is specifically cited as being a reason the ESRB was made. That was 3 years before the first, top-down, slightly comically styled GTA game was released.

    On top of that, the only lawsuits related to GTA are Take-Two suing a company that removed GTA ads against contract.

    And most of lowsec is spectacularly empty....like CRAZY empty.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grand Theft Auto caused Jack Thompson to come into existence.

      Hilariously, he was notorious for slinging personal insults in forum exchanges, and was disbarred by the State of [whichever state he practiced law in] for his poor conduct and general incompetence. A prime example of someone on a pointless moral crusade.

      Delete
  3. I side with carebears, as long as they are carrying a Neutron Blaster II still smoking, pod bits on their fur, and their eyes glowing red with righteous anger! The new carebear... The Rebel TerrorBear! -X

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AFK TerrorBear :D

      Delete
    2. This TerrorBear isn't AFK, it's hibernating. Don't wake it up!

      Delete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'll break the 4th wall here and say- care bears are some sad people in real life. For one, they utterly cannot separate a video game from real life. That is simply disturbing. The emotional attachment to internet ship pixels or imaginary space currency is flatly ridiculous. Their immediate response of using RL excuses for every possible adversity in game comes off as just childish.
    Then come the words right from their own fingertips. The rush to string together poorly spelled curses and insults- usually rising to the level of a learning disabled rock in both tone and grammar. Judging by the obsession with violent gay sex, I think miners do a good enough job embarrassing themselves without need of a witty Agent in chat.
    The DRAMA....oh the drama. Is mining code for Emo-kid or something? If it were counter-RP chest puffery, it'd be interesting. But it's just the same collection of racists, rednecks, and wannabe internet tough guys (tm) found polluting any CoD lobby.
    "I might kill myself because of you".....sounds like a jr high school girl that just got dumped.

    ReplyDelete
  6. WOW I seriously need to reactivate my ganker.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm in the middle of training mine as I speak. Look out, carebears...Henrik Ijonen is coming for you.

      Delete
  7. Ugh... These Union 416 guys are twisted. Raven's problem is that she made a bad assumption about the safety of HighSec and wants to make that assumption into a reality. Sounds like she would use any tool available to make that happen.

    I'm a miner who occasionally likes to point his ice harvesters at chunks of ore and ice in space. I bought a permit not because I fear the New Order or its agents but because I support what the New Order stands for. There should never be a place in EvE where someone can feel completely safe while undocked.

    I play this game because it's one of the few where the death penalty actually matters. I'm sick of seeing carebears try to change it to fit their idea of a perfect game when countless others already exist for them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are what other miners should aspire to.

      Delete
    2. @ AnonymousApril 25, 2014 at 9:00 PM

      What's your in-game name buddy? I would like to mine with you one day.

      Delete
  8. What the hell is wrong with these people? Why would someone commit suicide because of a digital ship loss in a fictional universe?

    These people obviously take things way too seriously.

    I am not in any of the two sides (Carebear/New Order), but I support a competitive, "not 100% safe" highsec.

    Now bring your bot-aspirant Catalysts, I am sure they need some magnetometric adjustment...

    -Azov R.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Reading and thinking of Raven's words made me nauseous. If anyone deserves to be removed from the game, it's her.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Raven Eaglefeather > lets say fat steve is down on his luck. he has not gotten laid in 15 years, is obese, depressed, and has invested the last 8 years of his life to eve online. he decides to relocate his HQ one day from system x to system z. 2 jumps, easy.

    Raven Eaglefeather > loads up his freighter, undocks, goes 1 jump and gets jumped at the gate before he can warp to the second gate. Fat steve is in a 0.7, concord should be blasting the gankers, but there are too many. he loses his ship and 30 billion in mats and goods

    Raven Eaglefeather > fat steve has nothing to live for now, his life is going nowhere, he lost everything, and now he has one option. he goes into his closet, takes his handgun, bites the end and pulls the trigger"

    LOL Fat Steve.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fat Steve has alot of major issues & losing stuff in a video game isn't one of them.

      Delete
    2. fat steve is probably a nullbear afk ratting, 30bil is nothing.

      Delete
    3. 99 problems but a gank ain't one

      Delete
  11. Jimmie, perhaps if you undocked and stopped phoning your blog in you'd know WTF is going on in EVE, I know how you LOVE to have ppl kiss your glowing butt , but its blinding you to what the Rebels are up to....I talked about this crap a week ago.
    Oh and before you say no one reads my blog, its ONLY 5 weeks old and has 13K plus views.. NEENER NEENER.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha.. we know what the rebels are up to. A fat load of nothing, as per the usual rebel plan. To be "up to something" rebels would have to stop mining AFK.

      Delete
  12. I am literally at a loss for words... Comparing real life crimes to that of a game is crazy, and a little sad, but mostly funny.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excuses! Another Thing you lame faggots are full of. EvE is an MMO and a sandbox. Its more than just a "videogame". I think at least some of you (the smarter ones) know that. Og course its NOT just shooting at pixels, its shooting at pixels controled by other ppl. You ppl yourself insist its "pvp". Another of many many contradictions and lame excuses, to defend a playing style, thats abusing game mechanics and pray on the weakest, without granting them a real chance of retaliation. Use wardecs yourself but if wardeced, drop corps etc etc.
    Still the bells are ringing. Jimmy, you hear that? When e1s crimes came to the open, he got shot down. Discussing the actions of your faggots more and more, brings you into the limelights, and the chance to get shot down by CCP to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and the above is a great example of why all carebears come across as pieces of shit

      Delete
    2. We never claimed to be "pvping", we're just playing EVE. You knew the risks when you hit undock, whether or not there is "honor" in fighting you is irrelevant.

      Amyclas

      Delete
    3. Remember, everyone - the guy that wrote that comment up there is the shining example of decent, good, and kind behavior to all. He's one of the "good guys".

      Delete
    4. Nah, that must be the notorious Fat Steve.

      Delete
  14. As a long-time miner (four miner toons since 2005), I am ashamed and appalled by the behavior of my kind. EVE is a war game. We mine minerals towards the production or purchase of war materials (ships, modules, ammunition, structures). If we as miners can not defend ourselves against our customers, their alts, or their corporations, then we have failed to reconcile with the dangers of playing with others. EVE Online is a war game. Miners are an integral part of the war machines supply line...AND WILL BE TARGETED.

    ReplyDelete
  15. ' He likes to take his time. He slowly, carefully misspelled the word "eventually".'

    Comedy gold right there.

    - Guybertini

    ReplyDelete
  16. I heard a little war started over a bot over in vaankalen, some one even recently offered a plex for the corpse of the bots pilot. twincode KG i believe was the name.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I thought Guybertini was a ganker bot. Using the same failed route and tactics over and over and over again. Like he was programmed or something! How else could he get podded over and over and over again? The same way every time too! Good to see that the bot-aspirants in the New Order can type...

    ReplyDelete
  18. I stand with the New Order. The carebear is a creature of hypocrisy, proclaiming his righteousness and e-honour from one side of his mouth while spewing bile and hate from the other. The comments comparing ganking - an impish endeavor, to be sure, where the only real victims are the egos of non-compliant miners - to the life-shattering violence and violation of rape further shows that they are devoid of human empathy and sympathy and woefully lacking in perspective.

    ReplyDelete

Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.