Sunday, April 27, 2014

Kills of the Week

Highsec is abuzz and aflame this weekend due to the Goons' massive ganking event, Burn Jita. Half a trillion isk worth of freighters and other humanity-shunning carebears have been vaporized. But when the special weekend is over and the Goons leave, it will be the New Order of Highsec that sticks around to help the broken carebears pick up the pieces. We will use the tragedy as an opportunity to rebuild the bot-aspirants into healthy, Code-abiding citizens. This may involve subjecting them to additional ganks. Let's look at some ganks from the week of April 20th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 26th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



Daphne Honeybutt and other Skiff pilots think themselves above the Code. They're wrong--as was proven by a fleet of Agents including Nanny State, karma balancer, Pestario Vargas, Jaxi Wreckful, Scylla ofMessia, Bishop Conrad, Killowatt Nearl, Luck Of-The-Irish, DJentropy Ovaert, and loyalanon. They trashed some Skiffs, and it just so happens that loyalanon exceeded a total of one trillion isk in total damages inflicted on the carebears!

To commemorate this special occasion, I gave loyalanon a rare gift:


...a signed portrait of myself. People have varying definitions of "winning" EVE, but getting your own portrait of me is definitely up there.



xxMonahxx lost a Retriever to Agent DJentropy Ovaert. Curiously, the barge was worth more than 200 million isk. How? DJentropy puzzled over this. Can you identify the cause? No, it wasn't the named scanner. While you ponder the excessively-valued Retriever, I'll just mention now that New Order fleets continued to slaughter Orcas, freighters, and other decadent carebear treasures the past seven days, but this week's post returns to basics: The miners.

Right then, have you spotted the source of xxMonahxx's abnormal Retriever loss? It's the single Harvester Mining Drone. Why you would have one (and only one) in your drone bay, can only be answered by the carebear.



On occasion, a kill is brought to my attention for sheer irony. Ohh Sleeper's Covetor was caught--you guessed it--AFK mining. Agent Wen Tang chuckled and then killed the Code-violator.



...and then there's the decadence. WildRus's Covetor was worth 800 million isk more than Ohh Sleeper's, but was also AFK, and was also completely untanked. Agent Meilandra Vanderganken likewise chuckled and then killed the Code-violator. And then scooped some nice loot.



DiaRoss wasn't fooling anyone with his expensive shield mods. He was willing to inject more isk into three of his fancy midslots, but revealed himself a bot-aspirant with a Survey Scanner for the fourth. He had to die. He knew it, I knew it, you knew it, and Agents 412nv Yaken, Bishop Conrad, loyalanon, Pestario Vargas, Inquisitor Armand, and Xeihun Khamez certainly knew it. But they were only getting started.



Inside the Hulk, DiaRoss's 2 billion isk pod, snagged by Agent Pestario Vargas. The sheer level of decadent bot-aspirancy may shock you. Heck, the fact that DiaRoss was actually flying a Hulk in modern highsec may shock you. But there's always an explanation. DiaRoss is the alt of the notorious DiaRosCris. You don't remember her? Let me refresh your memory:


Yes, it's the thousand-yard stare you remember so well. And if you still don't...
DiaRosCris > pls suuport me..
DiaRosCris > so that CCP.. change that..
DiaRosCris > ERROR
DiaRosCris > we dont want to FIGHT!!! we WANT TO MINE!!!
DiaRosCris > BIG LETTER TO ccp--O CHANGE SO;ME things
DiaRosCris > ITS looks like real life!!!HEY manGIVE ME YOU MONEY OR YOU GAK BANG..what ebever!!!
DiaRosCris > 10 mill bucks for bamooboo bing..and his second acoud spine ripper
DiaRosCris > oda i close my acout
DiaRosCris > cose of that.-.SHIT.. MININGBUMPER--com
In the wake of Burn Jita, I have a feeling a lot of carebears relate to DiaRosCris. Don't worry, the New Order will be there for them.

49 comments:

  1. Trilled? Lol hey jimmy, dyslexia? Or just being stupid?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly carebears are too stupid to understand the strange thing known as "humour"

      Delete
    2. :p
      Of course...
      Scrabble: 0points, word dosnt exist.

      Delete
    3. Sadly for codemonkeys, no excuse is to stupid.
      However, it is very funny indeed. Just not for codemonkeys

      Delete
    4. ":p Of course...Scrabble: 0points, word dosnt exist."
      http://lmgtfy.com/?q=trilled

      Delete
    5. Trilled is the past tense of trilling, not dissimilar to what you are doing now. While we have our pedant hats on, you want "too stupid" not "to". However James was punning with "trilled", so this is all moot. Also you try but always fail to mock the Code, so that's 0-4 to you.
      Feel free to join the winning team at any time.

      Delete
    6. Joining the code is a lose - lose situation. The first thing is, that you have to lose your dignity, the second you lose the respekt of real pvp players. You have to drop higher brainfunctions to beleive in this crap...
      And it goes on an on...

      Delete
    7. Yeah sadly you and your buddies try hard to overlook the fact. Codemonkeys don't fight against other ships, they fight vs the concorde timer.but you can lie to yourself as much you like, others, see that too. And not yust miners. You are realy a sorry bunch.

      Delete
    8. I live in lowsec and I have seen (and fought) loyalanon and his friends on several random occasions.
      I can therefore vouch that they do, in fact, fight other gunships.
      But you don't have to trust my words - just check their killboards.
      -rc

      Delete
    9. Yeah and is that why he then shoots miners because he is so great at PVP? No loyalamoron shoots miners because he has no real balls and his record shows this. A true PVP player has a record he can be proud of against other PVP players and not one which is totally populated by mining ships kills and ganks in high sec. Loyalmoron is non-entity and real players in null and low sec would piss their pants with laughter if he even said PVP to them (not that he could ever complete a full sentence - he is know for being very stupid)

      Delete
    10. @ Anon 4:25-

      Show us on the doll where Loyal touched your Orca...

      Delete
    11. loyalamoron touches himself and jacks off when he looks at his jimmys fail autograph picture lol

      Delete
  2. Loyalanon must surely be 'trilled' to receive such a prize from the Supreme Protector himself! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  3. Muahuahuahua, Jimmy is trilled! Not worth very much, when this autograph is full of errors. Hardly something to show around prowdly.
    Look look what jimmy gave me...
    Was he drunk?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently wordplay is lost on you.

      Delete
    2. Seems a case of tl;dr
      Lol
      However dl th pic and show it elsewhere.
      Someone with a writing like chicken scraches and a spelling error. Typical case of backfired.

      Delete
    3. autograph is a clear case of old man shakes which is why jimmy is now an isk grovelling has-been with attention deficit disorder and not a pilot in null anymore

      Delete
  4. yeah jimmy the overweight old f*rt with dementia, sounds about right and the dumb followers believe he is special - and now we know he pays some idiot to write all this sh*t - lmao

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's so cute that carebears come here and spout mindless drivel.

      Delete
    2. Yeah and you read it and also believe all the shite on jimmys website lmao The autograph is so lol - he can't even write, he probably has Alzheimer's surely saviors are supposed to be impotent? Sorry meant the other lol This website and forum make me p*ss with laughter and even more when you respond to the trolling roflmao

      Delete
    3. Show us on the doll where the NOA bumped you.

      Delete
    4. Wait, I thought he was a 12 year old in his mothers basement? Make up your mind already!

      Delete
    5. Why? With alzheimer you could hardly differ!

      Ohh loyalashole, you trilled me so hard, my butt is still sore...
      XD

      Delete
    6. Nono, you're both wrong. James 315 is literally Hitler.

      Obviously.

      Delete
    7. Tor replies to every post - do you wipe Jimmys arse with your tongue also? Still pissing at the fail autograph, he has severe shakes and probably downs syndrome - so lol Trolls rule on here!!!

      Delete
  5. Does anyone know how to translate DiaRosCris message? Is there a slang setting on Google translate I can not find? I keep looking for carebare translator but no luck so far.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The only thing more amusing than the whining comments from the carebears are the delusional comments from the griefers. It's like you folk don't realize many of us carebears are a fan of your work here!

    I'm a carebear, I recognized the wordplay and found it funny. In fact I find most articles I read here to be hilarious. The sohkar recording too; reminded me of the Mr. Bergis prank calls if anyone has heard those.

    When you make assumptions... well you know the rest.



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You claim to be a carebear, but then you display all the traits opposite to that of carebears.

      Maybe you're just mis-labeling yourself.

      Delete
  7. I'll try:

    DiaRosCris > Please support me
    DiaRosCris > so that CCP changes the game mechanics
    DiaRosCris > from being wrong
    DiaRosCris > We do not want to pvp, We want to mine with no risk.
    DiaRosCris > I will write a letter to CCP to suggest these changes
    DiaRosCris > This is the same as crime in real life, give me money or I shoot you, whatever
    DiaRosCris > 10 million Isk for Bing Bang Boom and his second account Spine Ripper
    DiaRosCris > is not acceptable so I will close my account
    DiaRosCris > Because of that shit on the minerbumping.com website.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I meant this to be a reply to Yi-Ming Gren

      Delete
    2. Are you some kind of bear whisperer? That is talent.

      Delete
  8. Well done agents and congrats to loyalanon!

    ReplyDelete
  9. made it on kill of the week. I am one happy camper

    ReplyDelete
  10. Gratz to you Loyalanon
    and thanks for the low and null sec roam that we did the other day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TRANSLATED TO - I like kissing your butt Loyalmoron - I post in here because you are too stupid to write anything and are clutching to your printed fail 'downs syndrome autograph' and w*nking over it - lol

      Delete
    2. Anon: Trolling 101 - the investment of your response must be lower than that of the one you are trying to troll. That means: write fewer words.

      Walter, would love to read your thoughts/perspectives of how that went!

      Delete
    3. Fewer words would mean I am a new order agent because I am slowwwwwwwww and a dumb-ass so can't put a real sentence together or when I do respond then I make myself sound like an idiot. Talking of idiots....

      Yeah Walter how did it go - did Loyalamoron manage to speak a full sentence? Did he go 'gf' I am a moron? Did he show you his printed Alzheimer's autograph?

      Lucky Jimmy didn't go, with those shakes he has then it would look like he was flying a humming bird LMAO

      Enough words Alana? Guess your mind switched off after the first 4 words since you are dumb-ass too. Maybe that was your complaint, too many words - not quite past those hardback baby ABC books yet?

      Delete
    4. See anon your not trolling there: your crying salty tears. As refreshing and tasty as they are I will refrain from making further attempts on educating you in the fine arts of trolling (of which I haz mad skillz) and will merely get myself another martini. Your yummy tears are really bringing out the texture of the olives with their salty goodness :)

      Delete
    5. You can lead a spacehorse to spacewater, but you can't make it drink.

      Delete
    6. You like your martinis extra-dirty, garnished with a piece of charred exhumer.

      Delete
    7. There is no such thing as tears when someone is trolling, it is FUN seeing your reactions and how angry you get!

      But gankers always revert to the same old line (even against someone trolling) but ONLY REAL TEARS are the ones you and Alana cry every day when you look in the MIRROR. Gankers have very low self esteem, they also have no lives and have no achievements outside the game - CRY, CRY, CRY and cry for your shaky hand drunk-ass leader who can't even write lol

      Delete
  11. LOLOLOLOL I may just die from laughing:

    DiaRosCris > pls suuport me..
    DiaRosCris > so that CCP.. change that..
    DiaRosCris > ERROR
    DiaRosCris > we dont want to FIGHT!!! we WANT TO MINE!!!
    DiaRosCris > BIG LETTER TO ccp--O CHANGE SO;ME things
    DiaRosCris > ITS looks like real life!!!HEY manGIVE ME YOU MONEY OR YOU GAK BANG..what ebever!!!
    DiaRosCris > 10 mill bucks for bamooboo bing..and his second acoud spine ripper
    DiaRosCris > oda i close my acout
    DiaRosCris > cose of that.-.SHIT.. MININGBUMPER--com

    hahaha

    "The next time you are able, dear reader, light a candle for DiaRosCris. May she one day learn to correctly spell the URL for MinerBumping.com and enter it into the web browser of her choice. May she then find her way to the Code, and with it, find some measure of peace."

    ReplyDelete
  12. loyalanon is a sexy man, and when the day comes I sail my boat to australasia, I will overthrow his wife and have a happy life together with him.

    no homo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone connected to that dope loyalamoron, I honestly feel sorry for, he is online 24/7 so he is isn't making anyone happy apart from Jimmy which is his true love lol

      Delete
    2. loyalanon is biggest CHEAT OF THEM ALL - he has to use 3 different characters at once - wolf soprano and sophia soprano are his alts - he can't gank solo or fight anyone without them - a true multiboxing lame cheat

      Delete
    3. Oh, anonymous poster... so much anger... so much pain.

      Your freighter that Loyal ganked was just full of stuff wasn't it?

      Perhaps your next freighter will have enough cargo cap to hold all your tears (use cargo rigs).



      Delete

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