Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Highsec for One
Just another day in highsec. Agent handypantz discovered a miner taking the gamble of a lifetime, mining without a permit in highsec--in an untanked Hulk.
Then, an hour later, another miner down. There was no connection between the two miners. Or was there?
handypantz heard nothing from the dead miners. Suddenly, more than half a day later, one of them reacted. I've heard of people going AFK and returning to a dead mining barge, but this is ridiculous. AFK for at least fifteen hours? How can a carebear expect to grind isk while being AFK for fifteen hours? Ah, that's right--they make bot macros for that.
Then, a few minutes later, the other miner also chimed in, using similar insults. Either those two miners were sharing a lot of quality time together IRL, or they were alts of the same botter.
Agent handypantz followed-up with the angry miner(s). Instead of trading insults, he gave them an incredible opportunity for mutually beneficial commerce. What a guy.
Carebears are not like normal people. They don't think like us. In fact, they sometimes think in reverse. Frost Zero conceded that he and his alts lost 350 million isk. The permit was only 10 million. Normal people would say, "I should spend the 10 million." The carebear reached the opposite conclusion, apparently finding it to be a hilariously bad deal.
As for the Russian remark, Google says:
"I will say in Russian - Fuck pidaras!"
This is unsatisfying. What's a pidara? When Google fails, UrbanDictionary.com comes to the rescue:
Now we know. You learn something new in highsec every day. Nevertheless, I won't be buying any "pidaras" mugs or shirts any time soon.
handypantz is an Agent of the New Order. He is a representative of the government of highsec, as well as a representative of normal people. He explained the economically rational conclusion that Frost Zero would've reached, if not for his bot-aspirancy.
With the basic math having been done for him, Frost Zero needed to come up with some alternative reason not to do the right thing. The answer: "Principle". For a botter, Frost Zero had high moral standards for the people he was willing to pay isk.
"HiSek for all" indeed. If everyone goes AFK for fifteen-hour stretches, and nobody's actually playing the game, wouldn't that be "HiSek for none"? Allow me to suggest an alternative: Highsec for one. One Order, one Code, one Saviour of Highsec. One people, united in their common mission.
Two days later, another miner:
Just another day in highsec. An Agent's work is never done.