Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Who You Gonna Call? Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Highsec "mercenary" Taylor Who was mining ice in a Retriever when he was ganked by Agent Nu'adu. Taylor was too upset to listen to Nu'adu's lesson about the Code. Instead, Taylor escalated his complaint by demanding to speak to someone with the New Order's complaint department. Agent Pestario Vargas was on duty.


The concept of speaking to someone from the "complaint desk" had a calming effect on Taylor. He stowed away his profanity for the time being. However, Taylor's version of events was "Ripardized": He left out the part where he was mining without a permit and being disrespectful to an Agent. This is why, when we want the whole truth, we listen to MinerBumping and not carebears or their enablers.


Uh oh... I feel a flashback coming on...


MINERBUMPING FLAAAAAAAAASHBAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK...


Pestario politely listened to Taylor's story. Then he gently pointed out that Nu'adu has a sterling reputation. Taylor immediately feared the outcome of his petition. What if the logs didn't show anything?


In search of evidence, Pestario requested the killmail. Nu'adu didn't hesitate to produce it--yet another sign of his innocence.


This is why I love having Agents. They're so good at what they do. Pestario put on his deerstalker and carefully examined the killmail.


Check the timestamps. Pestario instantly spotted something wrong. Caught by surprise, Taylor incriminated himself. He didn't have time to make up a story.


The noose was tightening. Not in a suicidal, EULA-violating kind of way, but in a clue-hunting way. The investigation shifted away from the ganker. Nu'adu was just a red herring in this mystery. Now Pestario focused his attention on Taylor Who. Could the petitioner--the very person who brought the case to light--be the one who was guilty?


Taylor began grasping at straws and returned to his "real man" defense. It's interesting to note that even though Taylor was genuinely a new player, he still felt the need to exaggerate how new he was. He'd been playing for a bit less than a month, not a week and a half. Is this a thing now, where carebears all lie about their age to seem younger than they are? Such vanity.


It doesn't take a new carebear long to be indoctrinated with the great myths of EVE. Taylor had never graced a nullsec stargate with his presence, yet he already bought into the myth that territorial control is all about in-game sovereignty.


Taylor was satisfied when Pestario told him he would forward the matter to his captain. But when Pestario gave a 48 hour timetable, Taylor immediately changed his outlook. In less than a minute, he lost his faith in Pestario.


Like the loser of a Bonus Round, the ice-mining mercenary became a defeatist in his own cause.


With no more faith left in the complaint department, Taylor uncorked the bottle on his profane vocabulary. A carebear's mask, no matter how carefully crafted, will always fall away, eventually, from his bot-aspirant face. His guard down, Taylor dropped the other shoe:


There it was. Taylor Who--the new player who had never heard about the New Order or the Code or Agents or James 315 or tank modules or any of it--showed his true colors. He admitted he'd heard about the New Order. What he heard wasn't flattering or true, but he had heard of us. Even the new miners know about the Code. The New Order's presence is too big to ignore, even for a bot-aspirant. They don't need a "warning" before they get ganked. They've already been warned. Carebears of highsec, the time for warnings is over. The time for payment has come.

40 comments:

  1. And there we have it, from the mouths of month old 'newby'.

    If he really thinks sov means you control the space, let him ask about I.A.C or BoB, or M0o.. Actually no not M0o, that's way before sov space.

    I hope he values the introduction to the emergent and diverse game play that keeps Eve Alive far more than the actual game mechanics.

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    1. no one ever remembers "m0o" is with a small m :(

      Delete
  2. However, Taylor's version of events was "Ripardized"

    I lold!

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  3. Ah, so this is The Code in all it's glory? High-school bullies hiding behind a thin veil of cynicism, but hiding from what, I wonder? I'm sure there's a sad story in there somewhere, behind all the faked nobility and pretences of hierarchic stability is what I can only guess to be a need for community, for self-esteem and perhaps for mere respect from others. You think this is what you have? Respect?

    Or maybe you think you're like the Goons, a troll organization, roleplaying as a doomsday cult, but I wonder, how much pleasure do you derive from the anger and irritation of others, that you would be ready to devote such a large portion of your own time to it? You can't honestly believe in your Code, and if you do, I feel sad for you, so why are you wasting such a large portion of your life upholding beliefs you care nothing about?
    I really fail to understand this, if anyone can enlighten me, I would be much obliged.

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    1. "I really fail to understand this, if anyone can enlighten me, I would be much obliged."

      I would suggest you go back to the beginning of the blog and read through it. There is more enlightenment there than most can handle, and it is the Saviours own words.
      Amen.

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    2. Just to be clear, I'm wasting a large portion of my life roleplaying a religious zealot inside of a video game... I know that still doesn't sound so great, but still...

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    3. If I'm having fun is it a waste of time? What should I be doing instead? Please, enlighten me.

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    4. Good job Jonas, a solid mix of truth and tears. Keep oooooon keepin' on!

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    5. Ah, but if you're having fun, that's another story, though the Code is now over two years old and one certainly wonders when this all starts getting dull. You know, I bitterly recall the time I spent as a volunteer for a humanitarian aid organization, having to fight for every donation and rarely getting more than 5$ from a single individual, but here there are donations of 5 billion ISKs, that's about 10 PLEXes, $200 USD, what exactly makes the code worth so much?

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    6. "..what exactly makes the code worth so much?"

      Like I said:

      I would suggest you go back to the beginning of the blog and read through it. There is more enlightenment there than most can handle, and it is the Saviours own words.
      Amen.

      Delete
    7. The Code is many things to many different people, jonasgrant. For some it is a fun roleplaying element. For others it is the foundation of a lively community. For folks like myself it is a tool in our belts to shake carebears out of their asteroid-induced stupor and improve the game we love.

      If you are genuinely curious, look me up in game at this name and I can shed some more light on the subject.

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    8. The Code is a scam and a haven for bad PvPers. Nothing more.

      Delete
    9. Gnomon, you're wasting your time, you can't out-wacko the wackos I've met over the years. I believe it's worth noting that I've never mined in EVE, though I did try and found myself attempting to gnaw my computer's power cable off after five minutes. I get the thrill of being the bad guy, roaming high-sec where the sheeps think they're safe and smashing their routine to pieces, it's fun because you're going against the boundaries set by the game itself, like killing children in Skyrim.

      But like the children killing I mentioned above, ganking and angering carebears does not produce varied results, it loses its shine quickly, though there's nothing wrong with indulging in it every once in a while, such is the nature of sandbox.

      What does strike me as wrong is when you create a dungeon for the kids, your own virtual kingdom, making it the central gameplay element instead of something you do every once in a while to break the monotony. Taking over High-sec, regardless of morality and what other people think, is indeed an appealing thought, one I toyed with, but that went against my personal convictions and I ultimately gave up on.

      The point of video games is to experience things you could not, without dire consequences, experience in real life, and becoming Hitler does sound fun, but in EVE you are interconnected with other players, people who invest time and money into this hobby because they love it, just as you do... Sure, that doesn't mean you can't scam the shirt of their back, such is the nature of sandbox and, as I said, there is nothing wrong with it, but once you've been evil for a while, that the novelty has worn off, why keep going?

      If you truly believe the New Order's Code will marginally improve EVE Online, why uphold it in such a cynical and abrasive manner? And if you don't believe in it, why are you willing to put so much effort into it?

      The issue here, to me, is not the New Order themselves, but what they reveal of human nature; that most people will follow an ideology they feel is wrong, merely because it brings them some measure of satisfaction, or a feeling of community. If you won't fight for your convictions in a virtual world, can you ever hope to do so in real life?

      You know what? Screw mankind; I'm signing up to go live on Mars.

      Delete
    10. The average Code agent believes in the CODE and also does not gank as their primary occupation.

      The reality is that it IS something they do on occasion. You see very few repeat heroes in these posts.

      Delete
  4. The New Order is still interesting and I like the concept, but these entries are just getting tired and over recycled.

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    1. I know, right? I'm a huge fan still, but the end of this article is so desperate. Come on James, step up the creativity damn it :P.

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    2. Well, James doesn't get to decide how original the articles are because he's just telling the truth. Get mad at carebears for being so unoriginal.

      Delete
  5. It's all good and fine when Taylor believes he will get a refund, but as soon as he has to start shuffling his own money all the deals are off the table and out the window.

    Most unfortunate.

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  6. "If I'm having fun is it a waste of time? What should I be doing instead? Please, enlighten me."

    I could have fun murdering people. Does that mean I'm not wasting my time? I could be doing something productive or positive. In your case, something mature would be good enough!

    You guys literally act identical to how I did when I was 17 years old. You're like clones of me, so I love you in a sense but you know.... you're 17.

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    1. In a computer game, dear. Why are you having such difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality?

      Delete
    2. @tor norman,

      What is with this?
      "In a computer game, dear. Why are you having such difficulty distinguishing fantasy from reality?"

      He is talking about the actions of one person would take under certain conditions for example Age.

      They fact that you make the the game world and actual world so black and white so you simply have a way to justify everything is morally wrong and show that true face of a ganker falling off.

      Just like carebears have a mask (how poorly crafted), the same principle is applied to the gankers and agents they all try to be/do somethign they can't in real life thus the virtual world becomes an exstention of ones bieng.
      People like you apperantly are ate mental age of a point they have to say "its a game" and hide behind it.

      And such is the ganker/agent mask, poorly crafted to shield their own in adequacy.

      Delete
    3. "You guys literally act identical to how I did when I was 17 years old. You're like clones of me, so I love you in a sense but you know.... you're 17"

      Let me see, now that it is downtime I have time to turn my attention to your case.

      Some people are 17. You say that like it is a bad thing?

      It is fascinating how many people do not manage to leave their Oral phase. It is also fascinating, how many people cannot step outside of themselves and accept that not everyone is like them, and that not everyone judges "fun" by their measuring stick. As has already been said more times than I can count (I have only 4 fingers left) this is a space ship blowing up game. Space ships get blown up. Anyone can get blown up and anyone can stop themselves from getting blown up.
      Don't have to be 17 years old to realize that, bro.

      Delete
  7. So is Jimbo going to man up and front at Fanfest? Or is he too "carebear" for that?

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    Replies
    1. If he shows up he might get hurt. i think its better that he doesn't attend or at least anonymously. Carebears are the more dangerous people in real life.



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    2. He should go and he should have no fear if he does. Anyone stupid enough to take their problem out of game will get what they deserve.

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    3. Are you threatening me?

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    4. I await news of his death

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    5. For the retards with the comments that i would hurt him learn to read,
      I said that it would be possible for butt hurt carebears that might want to hurt him.

      since reading is lost on lost on you i will give up on you.

      If however would meet james ill offer him a nice bottle of rum!

      Delete
    6. I don't think anyone was replying to you Icey, at least that's not how I read it.

      Delete
    7. Hahahahahaha!
      Do you honestly think these neckbeard carebears have the balls to just look at james the wrong way?

      They don't have the balls IN-GAME to harm him or his agents, so why do you think empty death threats from fat, beackbeard manchildren will carry any merit whatsoever?

      Gosh you people, if carebears had any balls (or lady balls), they wouldn't be called 'carebears'.

      The guys that DO have balls are the agents.

      Delete
    8. So he IS going then? Delicious.

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    9. Woe to the carebear who attacks our Supreme Protector at any out-of-game venue.

      Delete
  8. Maybe I should contact him and tell him to file a petition with CCP to get his ship reimbused, and possibly refer the killmail to CCP for account action against the perpetrator. After all, what you guys have done is probably push a new player from the game, which is something that CCP does NOT want. This is the kind of action that we are trying to prevent. If the game is to survive and grow, it needs new players. A player who is only a week and a half old getting ganked (more like victimized) by the new order scum suckers will probably end up quitting unless something is done about it.

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    Replies
    1. I'm sure CCP will be very interested to hear how people are using their PVP MMO to PVP each other.

      Delete
    2. Counterpoint: this newbie was not actually playing Eve Online. He was playing "shoot laser at space rocks simulator v0.5" - which is an incredibly unsatisfying game and which will probably drive him to unsubscribe. By ganking him, the New Order has opened his eyes to the vast fields of social interaction and emergent gameplay which lie waiting for him.

      They haven't stopped him from playing Eve. But they might have convinced him to start.

      Delete
    3. "They haven't stopped him from playing Eve. But they might have convinced him to start."

      Somehow one of the bests argument I have read in favour of the Code. I don't support the Code, but if, and only if, this player was to get his refund and told there is a different way to play EVE the account of that player has hope. And that is something maybe worth fighting for.

      But in this story, it seems the agent never tried to communicate with the player before shooting, he said he wasn't AFK (if agent tried to chat we couldn't disccuss it), he was a new player, all stacks up to make this a gank using the Code as a poor excuse, not a way to make 'the game better'.

      Delete
  9. This is my donut report: I read it every morning with a donut and coffee.

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    1. The 2, 3 parters are torture I always want to know how it ended

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    2. Mmmmm... Donuts!

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    3. Good ol' Glazed Donuts or sweet Chocolate Donuts?

      Delete

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