Friday, June 6, 2014

Hardcore Denial

The sheer extent of the New Order's meteoric rise is difficult to quantify. The New Order is like an iceberg. Only a small fraction of its members receive publicity from MinerBumping posts and the like. That's the surface. Underneath, there is a vast number of Agents who work in quiet dignity. Even so, these lesser-known Agents are celebrities in the systems in which they enforce the Code.


Agent Kalorned was satisfied with his work in the Gamis system, so he went to nearby locations to hunt for bot-aspirants. By chance, he met up with Agent Rollotamasi. There are so many Agents now that they frequently bump into each other--if you'll pardon the pun!


Kalorned's ganker alts destroyed a bizarre Mackinaw piloted by illegal miner rockerhardcore. The mining vessel melted before Rollotamasi could even get on the killmail.


The 15-minute aggression timer is sometimes called the "cool-off" period. For the carebears who get ganked, however, it's often a time when they get themselves even more worked up. rockerhardcore seethed. She suggested she was an important person. Powerful friends in nullsec?


In fact, this time the miner had some originality. She claimed to host the TeamSpeak servers for "the major alliances". Would she leverage her control over nullsec's communication networks to rally an attack against the New Order? No, she wouldn't. Because she was a highsec miner. No highsec miner is important in EVE.


Kalorned declined to entertain rockerhardcore's delusions of grandeur. Instead, he introduced her to some real grandeur: the Code, and his status as an Agent of the New Order.


Some in local questioned whether mining permits are a scam. I feel sorry for miners such as these. The Code forms the bedrock of highsec society. If it's a scam, then we're all doomed.


Kalorned presented himself as a tether to reality. But rockerhardcore persisted in her denial.


rockerhardcore claimed she would get revenge. Not by pulling the plug on everyone's TeamSpeak servers, but by using killrights--or worse!


Out of nowhere, the highsec miner said she had access to the assets of a random nullsec alliance. Since a ganker had destroyed her Mackinaw, she no longer felt bound by her loyalty to the alliance. She would steal everything.


As time went on, rockerhardcore only tumbled further down the rabbit hole of denial. She refused to believe in the existence of macro-miners in EVE.


In her mind, rockerhardcore was busy executing an elaborate heist within a nullsec alliance. She'd lost a Mackinaw, but taking into account the imaginary assets she stole, she could come out ahead for the day.


Our Agents smiled and nodded, and continued to destroy the carebears in system who refused to submit.


It was a good day. rockerhardcore's psyche was a bit worse for wear, but the rest of the system sparkled with Code-compliance. What a contrast! On the one hand, the misery of the denialist; on the other, the satisfaction of the Code enforcer. Citizens of highsec, which will you choose?

22 comments:

  1. Do any good alliances even use TS? Mumble is the one I see all the good alliances using.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not good alliances, kristall, "Major Alliances". Hopefully that clears things up for you as well as it did for me. ;-)

      Delete
    2. I know Surely You're Joking switched to TS, then again they probably aren't considered good by any means.

      Delete
    3. I hear TS actually works better in many ways, but Mumble is more secure and allows API-verified access and permissions.

      Delete
  2. I fear he may have an association with a great and powerful renter corp. Let's start with Tenacious Danes. Oh wait... in any case, I suggest targets of rental space raids be asked in a customer service survey if they know Mr. rockerhardcore, and if so to ask their friend for reimbursement.

    ReplyDelete
  3. At the risk of sounding like a carebear, what would they do if we petitioned every TOS and EULA violation they had? There would be none left! This is clearly a violation of article 8 of the TOS

    ReplyDelete
  4. As a recent Tactical Narcotics Team member I can verify that we have stacks of Mackinaws lying around for anyone to take. We are huge carebears who love to AFK mine ice in NS. We also super duper care about hisec miners getting ganked. And by that I mean, 0 fucks are given.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was awesome. I remember getting convo'd about this "threat" and after careful deliberation and laughing we all came to the conclusion this carebear was just desperately grasping at straws to make itself sound relevant like so many of them do.

      Thank you to Kalorned, Rollo and all the other agents involved in this!

      Delete
  5. Just put it in her butt!

    And by her, I mean alcohol.

    And by butt, I mean my stomach.

    So yeah, gimme moar!

    -Ermagerd an erseykerll

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. In retrospect, this made no sense whatsofuckingever.

      -EasyKill

      Delete
  6. awwww lol this so sad that u post this lol ,,, how much hand cream do u use, getting off on this ? lol,, and i did not melt like butter it took u 7 seconds ,,, i was AFK having a shit, ,,,, u need to add maybe pilot is having a shit i give him five mins ,,,,,,,the new order makes no sense ,,, u can not confirm if a pilot is a bot or not when u can mine ice afk for 40 mins anyway , before having to drop a load off lol,, thinks u need to update the rules ? or is it that the leader hates paying for plexs with real money ? while miners pay nothing ?, sounds like copy cat of goons to me ..lets kill miners and make ice go up in price then we have less POS to shoot ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1/10

      Try to be a little less obvious.

      Delete
    2. 1/10

      Try to be a little less obvious.

      Delete
    3. Woo! Double post.

      Delete
  7. oh yea before i forget .. TS and Mumble selling like crazy !!!! thank u very much!!!! also the macs i stole i have gave away to peeps that PM me of there death from the wank order

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "TS and Mumble are selling like crazy"

      So are you trying to say you're a TS and mumble salesman?

      Delete
  8. sorry cant even figure out my own punctuation or for matting a sentence but I do can sells team speak and mumble while stealing

    ReplyDelete
  9. The so-called "Agent" Kalorned is hereby informed a warrant of his exile from the Gamis Solar System along with his alts. He is charged of disturbing the General Peace, charged of starship destruction, charged of (in response of CONCORD's jurisdiction) the destruction of his ship and is hereby fined 207,552,000 Isk plus 25 million Isk in taxes. If the terms of demand is not met within 96 hours as of now, or face the consequences from the local authorities of Gamis Solar System along with assistance from the Union.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Umm, hate to tell you this...

      But Agent Kalorned IS the local authority in Gamis. So you've reported him to himself?

      Sorry anon, the New Order is the law in Gamis I'm afraid.

      Delete
    2. A criminal who proclaims a authority figuring in any way is considered a terrorist and has to be removed. I'm sorry but that's how society works either put up or shut up. Your choice.

      Delete
    3. " ... or face the consequences from the local authorities of Gamis Solar System along with assistance from the Union."

      What Union? You mean the Union of Free Miners? The ones who just imploded two days ago?

      Or perhaps you mean some other toothless band of impotent rebels that no one has ever heard of?

      Delete
  10. In your dreams, clown...

    ReplyDelete

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