Monday, June 2, 2014

Too Late to Negotiate

Bot-aspirancy comes in many forms. Even a carebear who fancies himself a respectable highsec industrialist may, in fact, unconsciously promote "bot culture". The New Order isn't afraid to take a stand against bot-aspirancy and bot culture. Our Agents are fearless.

Agent Alyth Nerun discovered a miner using a pilot-less Orca "as a 600mil ISK jetcan". It's shocking to think this practice still exists in modern highsec. Just a few weeks earlier, our Agents had to deal with a similar case.

Agent Karak Terrel was called in to help Alyth set things right. Karak warped to the Orca in a pod. He had the skills to fly an Orca, so he was able to quickly board it. When the miner realized his Orca was now occupied, he gave it the carebear stare with his Mackinaw ORE Development Edition.

For his crimes, the carebear's special Mackinaw was sentenced to death.

The carebear in question, one Shikari Auduin, was furious. Like a lot of miners who get popped in our territory, he claimed he would've paid if asked. But this was a bit of an unusual situation: The Orca hadn't been destroyed; only the special Mackinaw was. The Orca remained intact, so Shikari could still pay.

Karak took pity on the miner and offered to let him pay 550 million isk for the Orca. Shikari tried to haggle for a moment, but was reminded that Jita doesn't lack for buyers. The carebear had no choice but to agree to Karak's terms. If this were a ransom with a warp-disrupted Orca, the carebear would have pretended he didn't have the money. Since Karak already had possession of the Orca, there was no opportunity for the typical lies and excuses.

Shikari, following carebear tradition, delayed transfer of the money. Again, since Karak already had the Orca, it didn't matter. He waited patiently.

In the meantime, Shikari fumed that he had no idea about the New Order or mining permits. In days past, most miners really didn't know about us. Today, this is just something carebears say right before accidentally revealing that they knew all along.

The local miners dropped some clich├ęs about how gankers "can't survive in nullsec". (Unlike highsec miners, who are brave warriors.) The local miners didn't bother trying to help Shikari in any way, though. Ever wondered why the carebears don't unite against us? It's because they only care about themselves. They're so greedy that they would never consider sacrificing an isk to help another miner.

Shikari assumed he would get all of the Orca's modules and cargo back for free, despite it being contrary to the terms both parties had agreed upon. The carebear was still in haggle mode, trying to grasp for every little isk he could get his paws on. Once more, his attempts to negotiate were met with failure. Karak could sell everything in Jita if he wanted.

Every fruit of an illegal mining operation is considered contraband. As Karak emptied the Orca, he checked its fittings. What he saw made him sick to his stomach: The Orca was not only left pilot-less; it was anti-tanked.

Before creating the contract, Karak repaired the Orca.

The Orca was contracted for the low price of 550 million isk. The transaction complete, both parties walked away happy, except for Shikari.

Shikari's ingratitude intensified when he discovered that his Republic Fleet Firetail was removed from the Orca's ship bay. If he cared about the Firetail so much, why hadn't he mentioned it earlier?

Even though Karak kept his word of honour by allowing Shikari to repurchase the Orca, Shikari ranted and raved in local. He even threatened to quit EVE, claiming that he had "better things to do". I always advise my Agents to pay close attention to these rants. A carebear's angriest moments are also his most unguarded ones--as was the case with Shikari. Note his comment, "you did this out of pure lust for profit, not for the sake of holding to the code you are supposedly here to enforce".

I thought Shikari didn't know about the New Order or mining permits or any of that stuff? So how did he know about the Code? Because they all know. And if they all know, they all must comply.


  1. When you ghostride the whip prepare to get reckt.

  2. Not even smart enough to lock the Orca up? I mean, that wouldn't have saved him, but it would have at least stopped a pod just hopping in like it's nothing.

  3. Maybe he click on the link while all this was transpiring? Maybe he's just calling bull shit because he's angry.

  4. I hope this blog never stops.

    Every single entry keeps me from resubbing, helping my money go to better places.

    1. Thank you for continuing to keep EVE bot-aspirant free.

    2. Anytime.

      One less griefer in a theme park game.

      Not that you could bother me over there even if you wanted to.

  5. Many words of approval! The icing on the cake would be a soundcloud recording! ;)

  6. Anon 7:49

    I am glad this blog keeps you from resubbing, we don't want your kind here anyway.

    Adira Nictor

  7. With all the foul language this particular miner used, I am honestly surprised he was not reprimanded with no Orca return and a disciplinary redpen.

  8. this was an awesome entry

  9. This miner seems to need more lessons... perhaps a gank from his old

    1. Karak Terrel, if you use his own firetail to suicide gank him, send me the mail and I'll replace it. Because that would be hilarious.

  10. It's 2014. What are people still doing thinking that using Orcas as unpiloted Orcas is a good idea? Back when Orcas were first introduced, myself and many others made a killing off doing this exact same thing. During that first year or so I managed to assemble a collection of about 20 of these vessels, most of which are still scattered in hangars around the cluster as rainy day assets.

    And then people started to smarten up. Or at least I had thought they had.

    Hats off to Agent Karak Terrel. Two of these in just a few weeks. Now that I'm resubbed I might have to spend less time flying around in my own Orca and more time spent looking for other people's Orcas to fly around in.

  11. a costly error for that miner


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