Friday, June 13, 2014

Outfoxed, Part 1

It's a cliché to say that resistance is futile. But when it comes to the futility of resisting the New Order, it's not a cliché. It's a verifiable fact.

After some friendly Order gankers killed some bad guys, local rebel Amp Andedare demanded their swift departure. He had no idea that the system was mine, and not his. (Also, it's not "Rick the Rapist". It's Rick Therapist. Therapist.)

As Amp Andedare continued to make a nuisance of himself in public, Agent Skipper Huitzilopoch was called to the scene. Was Amp Andedare his nemesis?

Amp tried to bolster his "carebears have teeth" nonsense by linking to someone else's killboard. This is EVE, a game where carebears aren't shy about exaggerating their power. Amp could have chosen anyone's killboard to link. He chose a dud. Even in his boasts he couldn't get a green killboard.

A wise carebear chooses to comply with the New Order's Code. Not only is it the most fun way to play EVE; it's necessary for every miner's survival. Instead, Amp chose the path of the white knight.

Skipper warned him of the consequences. The bot-aspirants sometimes complain--after being ganked--that they don't get enough warning. But just look at the way carebears react to being warned.

If you've read the recent Kills of the Week entries, you know how this ends for Amp Andedare. Even if this is the first MinerBumping post you've ever read, you should still know how it ends. After nearly two years, the rebels are still looking for a battle to put in the "win" column.

Amp proved he was Skipper's nemesis by losing a fail-fit Nemesis in the aptly-named Cat system. Agent Jennifer Zanjoahir assisted with the gank. Despite being in highsec, Amp also managed to lose his pod...

...and it was a doozy. Amp's career as an anti-ganker ended in disgrace. This isn't Amp Andedare's story, though. It's every carebear's story.
Skipper Huitzilopoch > I have no idea why, but some miner just decided she can mine w/o permit. Of course she was promptly dispatched Kill: Amara Karlisa (Covetor) Kill: Amara Karlisa (Capsule)
Toran Saldera > Permit selling scum, you will die
Skipper Huitzilopoch > actually we do everytime we enforce
Toran Saldera > your permits are illegal under GPD law
Skipper Huitzilopoch > another miner, same mistake. NO permit in FIT! Kill: Vladd Antollare (Mackinaw)
Toran Saldera > Die in a fire skipper
Skipper was enforcing the Code and encouraging the good people in local when suddenly, another troublemaker reared his head. Protip: If you're the guy in local who curses the Order and its Code, things probably aren't going to end well for you.
Toran Saldera > James315 is an illegal entitty and will be destroyed, the GPD does not recognize his authority
Skipper Huitzilopoch > Toran Saldera you know that it's not cool to mix sandbox and real life? :)
Toran Saldera > I can still wish you ill
Toran Saldera > Im attempting to hate you to death
Toran Saldera > skipper, get ebola :)
For some reason, a particular breed of EVE player is obsessed with hating the New Order. Even if they know little about us, they are absolutely opposed to what we're doing. Moments into their conversation, Skipper knew Toran Saldera was one of those players. Toran grabbed a tackling ship and attempted to camp Skipper in his station. Toran didn't know about insta-undock bookmarks.
Toran Saldera > Ill get you at some point
Toran Saldera > it would be nice if CCP made their sandbox properly so i could camp his toon into oblivion
Toran Saldera > but meh
Skipper Huitzilopoch > Toran, if this thing would be possible - much worse consequences than inability to gank would happen
Yes, there are still rebels who try to prevent our gankers from exiting a station. Even after being told it's impossible due to insta-undocks, the rebels will sit on a station for hours. Eventually, Toran complained that the sandbox was broken.
Toran Saldera > hes too cowardly to fight, his character is a gank alt anyways
Psychoinmate Assylum > they come out of fed def station here in villore... you'd have to catch them on the way in.
Toran Saldera > and cowards lose in the end
Psychoinmate Assylum > unless you hae insta-lock scram ship
Toran Saldera > no, you wont catch them
Toran Saldera > so dont bother
As other hooligans in local offered him advice, Toran got an idea. It was an idea that would doom him and his entire corporation.
Toran Saldera > just wardec them
Rubber Maid > yeah, wardec em!!!
Ish'na Dallocort > Toran Saldera no point
Skipper Huitzilopoch > Toran Saldera he just can't help it
Rubber Maid > totally do that
Rubber Maid > it'll be great
Toran Saldera > ill war dec em, idc lol
The stage was set. There's an old saying that before you embark on a journey against the New Order, you should dig two graves. One for yourself, and one larger grave to be shared by everyone else in your carebear corp.

To be continued...


  1. *head pops up*

    Did someone say Administrative Warfare?

  2. Today the Saviour said:

    "The bot-aspirants sometimes complain--after being ganked--that they don't get enough warning."

    But we, who hang off his every word remember:

    "The New Order's presence is too big to ignore, even for a bot-aspirant. They don't need a "warning" before they get ganked. They've already been warned. Carebears of highsec, the time for warnings is over. The time for payment has come. "

    So pay up or get out! :D

  3. Toran Saldera > just wardec them
    Rubber Maid > yeah, wardec em!!!

    Oh boy oh boy, this is gonna be great !!!

    - Guybertini

  4. yeah, war dec em!!!

    war dec me too!!!

    And war dec guybertini, he an evil monkey that really deserves it!!


    ---------Mike Adoulin

  5. BeBopAReBop RhubarbPieJune 13, 2014 at 11:01 PM

    Fabulous reference to the Causality trailer.

  6. Not sure how to evaluate a HS SB. But this is what you bring to a cat fight? I bet it was the first time he ever fired the torps.

    1. When awoxing once, the corp CEO uncloaked a bomber to attack my Tornado. Surely this is a fight where I'm at a disadvantage right?

      Only took one cycle. He missiles never even hit me.

  7. I think he should also wardec Capt Starfox's corp from yesterday's post.

  8. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be in the life of James 315 for one day.

    I then realize I have no interest in wondering what it's like to be severely insecure about myself.

    The truth, my friend.

    1. NotTheSmartestCookieJune 14, 2014 at 11:35 AM

      Lol @anon. Every miner who compares his life to that of James 315 goes away feeling vastly inferior. However, he is magnanimous. Better your life, swear allegiance to the CODE and you can continue your squalid existence in his domain.

  9. Sometimes people make the claim that is just a bunch of RL failures who use the internet as a means of feeling better about themselves. Today I present evidence of such:

    This player had engaged in riskier, tougher PVP than nearly every member of the CODE. alliance. Yet most of you have likely convinced yourselves it is in fact HE who is the carebear, the risk-averse pilot, the pansy.

    Such is evidence of the excessive amounts of self-induced delusions engaged in by CODE. members. Now that you realize your true motivations as players (i.e. you're sad, petty man-children), will you hold yourselves to a higher standard? Or will you continue to ignorantly shame yourselves?

    To quote Garek (Stargate SG1)...
    "We. Shall. See."

    1. I'll give credit where credit is due, Toran does appear to try and that's something; however, he isn't very good at it.

      Your evidence is a bit lacking, can you come up with something else?

    2. Oh look he rides so Concord killmails

    3. He's good at losing valuable ships and whoring on killmails I guess? I mean, I've seen people who were better at both of those things, but still...

  10. You sound upset.

  11. I think he lost a Retriever, iirc.

  12. With posts this bad, Butthurt Miner must be a POE. So which knight of the new order are you?

  13. So he tried to wardec us, but got banned. And now all he can do is link disgusting pictures. It's also easy to see now why he got banned.

  14. This is why no one likes carebears. TEST has better posting standards, FFS.

  15. wardec ?! this made my day !!! sooo beautiful :D


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