3xpl01d Stash > what you wantUpon hearing of the Stash incident, Agent Pestario Vargas took it upon himself to convo the miner personally and see what he could do. The convo was initiated not a moment too soon. Stash was just seconds away from quitting EVE forever.
Pestario Vargas > Hello sir.
3xpl01d Stash > you already took all i have
3xpl01d Stash > you want to laugh harder?
Pestario Vargas > No sir.
3xpl01d Stash > well laugh as hard as you can right now
3xpl01d Stash > cuz im about to uninstall eve online
Pestario Vargas > I am not laughing. I am here to calm you down and help you out, if I canStash had no faith in the New Order or its Agents. He couldn't believe Pestario was there to help. And to a bot-aspirant, "help" means "give me free money".
3xpl01d Stash > sure calming down
3xpl01d Stash > you guys are trolls
3xpl01d Stash > i dont believe you
Pestario Vargas > I am not here to be a troll.
3xpl01d Stash > are you giving me money then?
Pestario Vargas > What happened exactly? were you ganked?Upon request, the carebear produced his lossmails as evidence of the ganks. Stash readied himself for the uninstallation process. If Pestario couldn't think of something to say right then and there, he would lose his chance to save the miner.
3xpl01d Stash > Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Retriever) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Capsule) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Gallente Shuttle) Kill: 3xpl01d Stash (Capsule)
3xpl01d Stash > count that
3xpl01d Stash > thats my loss.
3xpl01d Stash > its everything i had
3xpl01d Stash > now if your done making fun of me
3xpl01d Stash > im going to have a real life
Pestario Vargas > Please don't get mad, but were you afk?The answer, of course, was in the Code. Pestario asked Stash if he had been in violation. Without realizing it, Stash admitted he was; miners are required to keep an eye on local at all times, regardless of Facebook pokes. If you shift your attention to a Facebook poke, you run the risk of getting a Catalyst poke.
3xpl01d Stash > no
3xpl01d Stash > i got minimized
3xpl01d Stash > because of a poke
3xpl01d Stash > and ofcourse thats when they kill you
Pestario Vargas > we have to refund if you wrent in violation of the codeDespite being a self-described "newcomer" to EVE, Stash had already been thoroughly infected by rebel propaganda. He believed the lie that the Code exists to drive away new players. The carebear apologists had gotten to him.
3xpl01d Stash > i don't give a shit about the code. the code you follow made sure newcomers to eve online quit the game
Pestario Vargas > I am trying to help you. If you follow the Code, and you were ganked, you get a refund and a sorry
3xpl01d Stash > if i can have all my stuff back
3xpl01d Stash > ill follow the code
3xpl01d Stash > if not.. then byebye
3xpl01d Stash > im frustrated
3xpl01d Stash > and very mad with your corporation
Pestario Vargas > So you were mining in Solitude. ok that is fair enough.Pestario continued to investigate. Stash claimed he had become trapped in the highsec island of Solitude. Apparently he thought he needed a shuttle or Retriever to get out.
3xpl01d Stash > in high sec
Pestario Vargas > Is it a highsec island?
3xpl01d Stash > yes
3xpl01d Stash > i got taken here by another player
3xpl01d Stash > i have not much experience and im losing everything here
3xpl01d Stash > i want to leave, but i just got killed i can't get out
Pestario Vargas > It says you are from 2013? is this true?
3xpl01d Stash > i made my account then, i only play for 2 weeksNaturally, Stash played up his "newbie" status, though he couldn't keep his story straight.
Pestario Vargas > aww ok. so your SP will be less then 3 million?
3xpl01d Stash > 5 million
3xpl01d Stash > maybe 3 weeks
Pestario Vargas > hmm ok well send a evemail of what happend to Babatunde B Babatunde, he deals with reimbursments and refunds
Pestario Vargas > if you did nothing wrong we will 100% refund your loss
3xpl01d Stash > you will not refund anythingStash delivered an ultimatum: In one hour, he'd leave EVE forever. Pestario would be tested like never before. It was one of the harshest deadlines set by a carebear.
3xpl01d Stash > because your a troll
Pestario Vargas > I dont like to see new eve players get ganked
3xpl01d Stash > yes you do
3xpl01d Stash > and i didn't get a refund
Pestario Vargas > We have to take time to investigate it
3xpl01d Stash > Go ahead investigate, ill be online for 1 more hour.
3xpl01d Stash > if i don't have enough cash to buy my implants and retreiver then i quit eve online
Pestario Vargas > It may take up to 48 hours. sorryStash continued to make more demands. Now he wanted a New Order escort back to the highsec mainland. He also claimed our Agents had used "offensive language in chat". In light of yesterday's post, this claim is quite bizarre. Nevertheless, Stash had entirely swallowed the carebear apologists' argument that ganking is bullying and that if CCP doesn't end PvP in highsec, they'll lose all their subscribers and go out of business.
3xpl01d Stash > also i would like an escort to high sec
3xpl01d Stash > you guys owe me that
3xpl01d Stash > if not for the kills then for the offensive language in chat
3xpl01d Stash > because your members are doing their utmost work either trying to get people to suicide in real life or to make sure eve online loses all of their players.
3xpl01d Stash > and what if eve is full of players like you huh,Stash surrendered to the madness of the bot-aspirant. With time running out and no other ideas, Pestario threw a Hail Mary pass. He invited Stash to TeamSpeak.
3xpl01d Stash > who then will you kill and try to piss off so hard that he suicides in real life?
Pestario Vargas > Who has done this? Suicdies in real life? this is terrible news.
Pestario Vargas > I am trying to help you..
3xpl01d Stash > oh i feel so helped.
3xpl01d Stash > you guys helped me get rid of my isks thats for sure.
Pestario Vargas > .. would you like to talk on teamspeak?
Pestario Vargas > I can talk to you.Stash agreed to join Pestario and other Agents to chat on TeamSpeak. As of this writing, a recording of the conversation is not available. I am informed that our Agents went to great lengths to re-educate the troubled miner. However, I also have it on good authority that no torture was used.
3xpl01d Stash > sure lets talk
Pestario Vargas > man to man
Pestario Vargas > ok just a second
Pestario Vargas > one second, jsut getting the server details
Pestario Vargas > Please join and talk with me.
Less than an hour later, a 700 million isk Mackinaw was ganked in Solitude. Among the gankers...
...was 3xpl01d Stash himself. Most people would've written off Stash in five seconds of meeting him. But nothing is too difficult for the New Order. And we have a saying: No miner left behind.