Sunday, October 7, 2012

New Order Bathroom Protocol

One of the most controversial things I've ever said is that miners should ask me (or an Agent of the New Order, if I'm not there) for permission to go to the bathroom. This issue came up way back in August, and I addressed it in a post right after the website went live. The controversy hasn't gone away.


Just recently I saw someone on EVE-O who brought it up, totally off-topic, and even had her signature quote me. I mean really, that's your signature? An obscure quote about the Code's stance on AFK mining?


In the two months since I said that, the subject of bathroom breaks for miners has resurfaced time and time again.


Sometimes it's used as evidence of the New Order's "tyranny". What these miners miss is the fact that they've taken what I said totally out of context, and they've twisted it completely inside-out. Let's set the record straight.


When I explained the Code's prohibition on AFK mining, people asked me, "What if I have to go to the bathroom?" I pointed out the obvious: They should dock up first. But then I added that they could, alternatively, ask me for permission to go.


Note what's actually happening. Miners are not permitted to AFK mine, which means if they leave the keyboard for any reason, they need to dock up. But as a special dispensation, I may give them permission to go to the bathroom without docking up. In other words, I'm being more lenient, not more strict. If they get permission, I relax the rules so they can relax their bladders.


So then miners took my leniency and turned it around to make it sound like I was being more strict, and trying to "control their urination", as one miner put it. Talk about spin! The rebel propaganda machine really earned their paychecks on this one.


Of course there are limits, as with any rule. It's only for miners going "number one", because they have to sit down for "number two", and I believe sitting anywhere other than at your computer is an invitation to be AFK. Though women generally sit even when only urinating, I still allow them to go. Why? Because I recognize the history of discrimination and the bitter struggle for equality that women have had to go through, and I cut them some slack on that basis. I'm not expecting a Nobel Prize or anything, but yeah, I suppose I am going out on a limb for them in this way, and I can see why people would think of me as a civil rights champion. But I don't do it for the applause. I do it because that's who I am.


When people follow the Code, the system works for everybody. Do I grant miners a bathroom break every time it's requested? No, but any non-zero percentage is more than they're entitled--let's keep things in perspective. Still, I do often grant permission. There's a reason my name is associated with the word "mercy".

14 comments:

  1. Shakin' it, Boss!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Any more than two shakes & you're afk mining.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Homer Simpson nail this pretty good:
      More than two shakes and it's playing with yourself?

      Delete
  3. I've found the solution for this whole potty-break problem. I'm a guy and I sit down everytime, whether I need to pee or take a dump. That way I can sit with my laptop on my knees and continue looking after my ship. Also, I'm too lazy to stand up while peeing. And it solves the "leave the board up or down"-debate. So basically, I've found one solution to 2 different, unrelated problems!

    I know it's not very hygienic and might not improve my chances of ever finding a girlfriend, but strangely, I'm okay with that.

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  4. I'm curious. What is the response if they go for a potty break, don't ask permission but turn off their lasers first?

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    Replies
    1. That would be a Code violation. It's one thing to sit in an ice field in a Stabber--clearly that isn't "mining". But if a mining vessel is in a mining location--even with lasers off--he is considered "mining", because the circumstances are sufficient to establish intent to mine.

      Delete
  5. Actually I was granted dispensation to not monitor local for a while for a much more valid reason - to read this blog! Thanks Bill!

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    Replies
    1. You're welcome, Anonymous dude. We can be fair, and reading up on the Code to better yourself is well worth a minute break from actively mining.

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    2. I may have to ask dispensation again - as a miner (and supporter) I find myself ROFLMAO at some of the stuff posted here by other miners who just don't get it. The only reason I am posting this anonymously is that I am sure I would hear grief from other miners about posting here at all.

      Delete
  6. Lawls... Trolling at it's finest!


    Edit: What? There's a captcha? But I'm a bot, how can I leave a comment?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I've found it very creative. Joke apart, very interesting. I like the way you've chopped words.

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