Monday, December 28, 2015

Bad Acts, Part 1

Miners sit around highsec all day, engaging in something that one would hardly call "gameplay". Yet they remain fixed in place, motivated if not entertained. It's as if they're waiting for something.

...Waiting for the New Order to save them. Baddaxe's Retriever and 102 million isk pod were given some unplanned excitement in Hek.

Agent Crash Bang Zoom successfully made contact with the miner. Of course, there's a big difference between contacting a miner and truly reaching him.

Baddaxe began playing EVE over eight years ago. A lot has happened in that time, though apparently not much of it to Baddaxe's benefit. Still, he'd had most of a decade to accumulate resources. Now they would be devoted to the destruction of Agent Crash.

Judging by the size of the bounty he placed, these have been difficult years for Baddaxe.

More details surfaced. Baddaxe was "retired". People retire in games now. Either that, or Baddaxe was about to PLEX his 401(k) plan.

The situation became more serious when Baddaxe revealed that he was going to make a really bad career choice. Our Agent was concerned. She knew she might need to refer this matter to a senior Agent.

Although the New Order has the most effective and efficient bureaucracy in EVE, our Agents are trained to handle matters themselves whenever possible.

Baddaxe was out of control. Crash had followed protocol, but the miner wasn't calming down. Was he a Goofus? To be sure, Crash prepared to invoke the name of James 315. That usually shakes the Goofuses out of the trees.

If she offered a brutally honest assessment, Crash might say that Baddaxe was showing little promise. And yet...

Our Agent saw something in Baddaxe. Maybe the miner had potential.

Could it be? Would Baddaxe grow out of this childish, rebellious phase? Or was he about to descend even deeper into the abyss?

To be continued...


  1. I sense poorly thought out trap on Baddaxe's part...

    1. He's a miner.. what else can you expect? Fighting miners in glorious pvp is what I do on a daily basis. They always forget about one crucial fact:

      The Code always wins, always!

    2. He's a miner.. what else can you expect? Fighting miners in glorious pvp is what I do on a daily basis. They always forget about one crucial fact:

      The Code always wins, always!

    3. So true it needed to be stated twice.

  2. I wonder why Anti-ganking didn't intervene and save his ship?

    1. They were too busy paying $15 a month to login to eve and fail non-stop daily!

    2. New ganker bingo square:

      "I'm ganking right now and you can't stop me!"

    3. @Anon8:50

      In fact, no miner has ever stopped an Agent of The New Order from carrying out their divine duty to enforce the Code. It is, was, and evermore shalt be.

    4. But there are so many examples, on a daily basis, of white knights thwarting ganks. And even cases of miners crushing catalysts even before Concord can arrive.

      You can sit in the (very warm and friendly) AG channel and watch the killmails get posted on an hourly basis. You guys already have spies there, so you know I'm telling the truth.

    5. No, I'm afraid you must be mistaken.

      The Anti-ganking channel is full of of people who

      A.) Complain about CODE.

      B.) Complain about ganking in general

      C.) Ask for help defeating the invincible and good-looking warriors of CODE.

      D.) Fail to provide such help as every single member of Anti-ganking is self-interested and only wants to "mine in peace" instead of lifting a finger to figure out game mechanics that CODE. has already figured out, and, of course, can't be beaten.

      You see, Anti-Ganking is destined for failure, and are a terrible, horrible example of EVE Online players, and a group that loses badly to CODE. every day, ALWAYS!

    6. So basically, in disbelief, you close your eyes and cover your ears and repeat over and over "the code always wins, the code always wins" instead of seeing change actually taking place.

      Change that you (the New Order) actually helped implement. Do you think the AG channel would exist without the New Order to fight against?

      So the correct answer is the the Code always wins because you make HighSec an interesting place to be. You bring content to the game. You help bring the GFs... The correct answer Ming should have been that when a New Order knight fails you win, everybody wins.

      There are some New Order knights that still give a gf in local when they loose.

      Then there are those, like you Ming, that have lost your way. Blinded in the forest by all the trees. Not true believers in the Code, sure you can quote it, but your too focused on the killing aspect. No, you're just gankers, and ganking is just a tactic.

      So when a non-believer 'ganker' looses his or her ship, and fails in epic fashion there is no GF. Just tears. Lots and lots of tears. Bitter, salty, and very sweet tears.

      We at AG would like to thank you for pointing out the fact that most gankers, like you, really don't believe in the code, that this is all a sham. Goon funded and approved.

      We also want to thank you for your tears.

    7. "There are some New Order knights that still give a gf in local when they loose."

      I've never seen one. Ever. I agree on everything but this part.

    8. Hey Mingle,

      Get your head out of your ass please. It is very easy to beat you guys. The problem is most people are either too lazy, AFK, or in non-tanked mining barges and therefore it may look like you are invincible and can do what you want.

      The rest of us that actually play the game as intended just laugh at you and avoid you with ease.

    9. Oh yeah, one more thing Ming, the coward...

      No PVP activity in the last year+, No ganks on killboard. What we have hear is flapping gums and not much more. Nothing to see here folks, move along

    10. AG posting catalyst lossmails of ships that were already written off when they undocked.

      AG need us to provide them content. Looks like the code winning again XD

    11. Ming and Wolf manage to collect more tears on this blog site than most gankers can in game.
      Thanks for the whiney tears miners, please post more cry.

    12. Ming-
      Now that AG and Wolf have schooled you in the finer aspects of The Code, it is time for you to fit your first catalyst, undock, and be baptized in Concord's purifying fire.

      How to fit a cat:

    13. @anon 12:32
      When the dust settles and the mining barge is still there, then that is an AG win. That and when concord isn't even on the killmail. No whores involved, except maybe some exotic dancers back at station to celebrate. :)

    14. @Anon12:56

      You pose the same silly assumption Miners have for ages.. "If a Catalyst falls in the forest and nobody hears it, it must have been destroyed by a miner."

      This myth is false on many levels, (having been passed from the wishing, hoping, begging Miner's prayer that somehow, someone other than them will take vengeance in their name,) but first, and most laughably I should point out, it assumes that miners are able to destroy anything.

    15. @ Anon 12:56
      I remember spying on the AG channel and someone posted a KM where he shot at a ganking vessel. I asked the guy if he managed to save the barge and he said no but he still acted like it was a major win. Unfortunately this seems to be a pattern within AG.

    16. I remember a long, long, time ago when Ming posted a killmail in the MinerBumping channel... wait a second, no I don't.

    17. I think Goriala Vengaza has a more active KB than Ming does. Now THAT was a truly converted agent... he hit that -10 sec status so fast... oh wait, he didn't did he?

    18. Still more active than Mingle-ling.

    19. anon 12:56 that doesn't happen, stop imagining things that aren't real

    20. "The code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins, the code always wins."

    21. The miners in this thread seem a little riled up.

      I believe it is only appropriate:

      "Miners, Calm down."

    22. Speaking of riled up, what was going on last night in Uedama?

      There was an unusual turn out of gankers and Loyal was going around as an alt interviewing everyone "for Scope news".

      Last time we saw that many people in Uedama, you guys just lost a bumping mach to Jen.

    23. Some rounds glance off of shields, some make it through to their armor. Still other salvos alpha their shields and their armor, and hits them deep into structure.

      Last night was definitely about a recent loss that hit them deep into structure. They don't take losing very well.

    24. @Anon2:49

      If you haven't noticed yet from the, I dunno, >1200 posts on this blog, each one teeming with comments such as yours, let me point out to you that to a casual observer, miners take losing much, much worse.

      Plus, let me, in my wisdom, remind you, that you put a Code ship into structure, you still lose. Because you are dead. And that means we still win.

    25. Ming-a-ling-a-ding-dong-
      I think the poster meant it as a metaphor. And the other poster is right, it's time to fit that cat! Space it is a great wide open place, if you undock anything can happen! Who knows, you might have fun!

    26. @Anon5:33

      As we all know, Anon, that my illustrious PvP record is well known, open, and well documented for all to see. After all, it is The New Order that is all about transparency and openness in the name of James 315.

      By contrast, miners are closed off, tight fisted, wanting to "wall off" themselves from their fellows. Such inappropriate, disgusting behavior. No wonder all of highsec wants to kill them.

      But don't take my word for it. Check the record yourself. Due to my intelligence sources, I have been able to determine your true identity. And now, I am able to show our readers your PvP record.

      I am certain that many readers will agree, that my record is exemplary compared to meager combat abilities.

    27. If you know who I am, say my name.

    28. While your at it can you guess my name too?! :)

  3. I feel that this miner has been exposed to the toxic gasses of the moone fields for too many years. The reasoning center of his brain has been replace by animal instinct to hoard ISK. I pray it's not to late for him.

  4. Defenseless miner? Hardly.

    Those are tech 2 combat drones in his bay. Looks like defense to me...

  5. No, no you're not. Not out in null, not ready to pvp anywhere. All you will ever do is mine in hisec and shitpost here. Thanks for the tears, miner.

  6. Saw your "killboard". 10 pilots to kill a sabre (in 2010). 3 pilots to kill a pod on which you did 0 damage. (most recent null kill). This year almost all losses. Brag some more. Tell us about your elite nullsec pvp. Killboards don't lie.

  7. @Anon11:42 "Baddaxe"

    Since it is well documented (as recently as the most recent "Kills of the Week" post) that New Order Agents are some of the most skilled at not just shooting, but destroying and winning against ships that can shoot back, with clever video names such as "When Carebears Attack" and "Self-Defense in Gamis", I can assure you of the following:

    Not only did you die to a New Order Agent because you were wrong for disobeying the Code, (A crime which you should apologize, take stock of, and make restitution for,) but you also died to a New Order Agent because you were simply worse at PvP than a New Order Agent.

    Protip: The Code is what makes our Agents the premier PvPers in New Eden. Everyone else in New Eden 'gets' this. Why don't you?

  8. CODE wins everytime some butthurt bitch-miner posts here. Forget the killboards, just look at all these bitchbear tears and i dont even need to login.
    All hisec miners are immature, impotent, whiney little cunts that cant play EvE. Failbears.

    Thanks CODE! Thanks for the years of content. Thanks for the thousands and thousands of dead hisec bitchminers. Thanks for teaching said bitches how to properly play EvE.

    Thanks for all the salt harvested, a few more years of this and you can start your own Bonneville, and i wont have to drive to Utah to race my bike.

    And finally, thanks for keeping EvE alive with your content creation, for without hisec gankers, Eve would surely DIE!

    CCP should start an "Agent Appreciation Day" to show their support in a more public way, because without CODE the devs would be unemployed.

    And finally: Hisec cunts, stay calm and get a permit!

    -the Real EvE Players

  9. Ha ha! It is quite the opposite my well-intentioned friend. After extracting ganker tears from all over High-Sec we are actually attempting to extract ganker tears from their own blog: the rarest and sweetest of all ganker tears, like tupelo honey.

  10. @Anon6:05

    You are like one of those people in Brave Collective who just keeps on losing ship after ship after ship to PL and is really angry and suffering for it, but is just a little bit too prideful to realize that everyone is laughing at you rather than with you. Which is why this blog is as successful as it is!

  11. Who's crying here doofus?

  12. lol this is actually my dad


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