Monday, December 7, 2015

Crazy Like a Foxbolt, Part 14

Previously, on MinerBumping...


Admiral Foxbolt already had a storied career in EVE. But it wasn't until Agent Maou Solidus of CODE. killed a Hulk belonging to one of Foxbolt's "customers" that the man became a legend. One question remained: Would Foxbolt's legend have a happy ending or a tragic one? In a last-ditch effort to clear his name, the permabanned Foxbolt created an alt and took EVE-O by storm.


Admiral Foxbolt always performed best under pressure, and he was at the height of his rhetorical powers. Incredibly, it was not enough. The ISD returned from its three-hour smoke break and banned Foxbolt's alt from EVE-O.

What about Foxbolt's secret weapon? I'm glad you asked. You see, when a player is banned from EVE proper, he is also banned from the forums. But the converse is not always true. ISD Buldath had the power to ban Foxbolt's alt from EVE-O, but not from the game. Foxbolt's alt wasn't yet banned from EVE. And that meant he had one more card to play.
Calling You Out Bro!!!!
From: Admiral Foxbolt2
Sent: 2015.11.05 00:07
To: The Mittani, John Selth, BirdStrike

Yo Mittani!!! Bro.. I'm your biggest fan... Out of no where people started asking me what I can do if I'm not restricted by "your people"... So I figure.. what they hell!!!

Calling You Out!!!
Over the last few weeks, Foxbolt had come to realize that his true enemy wasn't CODEdot, or even the cyber-bullies on the official forums. They were all being manipulated by Foxbolt's true nemesis, the man who had been sabotaging his player-retention efforts all along.


No, not that guy.


It was The Mittani. Despite his apology to CCP Falcon, Foxbolt still believed that CCP was under The Mittani's control, and that everyone (with the possible exception of CCP CiD) was acting under the Arch-Goon's direction.
Below is the tread that started everything off... people thought I was you....and your cop (ISD Buldath) buddy shut us down....just saying.. he seems to work for you....

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=453977&find=unread

and then your cop buddy decided to try and shut the party down when we were 5 pages deep.... but I had to get one more word in.....

https://forums.eveonline.com/default.aspx?g=posts&t=454010&find=unread
For example, when Foxbolt's threads had been locked, it was due to The Mittani's scheming, and not because Foxbolt was breaking forum rules.
You wanta make EVE interesting again, or you wanta hide behind the barriers??? Yeah, I'm the former CEO if "THE WIZ"....go check his corp histroy... BATTLESTAR FEDERATION.... (((CEO: Admiral Foxbolt))). Saw your little stunt on stage in the wizard hat..... Time to own up.... but if you want hide.. I understand..... Just letting you know.

But hey... before your cop friend shut me down... I got that last bit out.....BELOW>>>>
The ancient feud between The Mittani and Admiral Foxbolt wasn't the only reason Foxbolt chose to spend his final moments calling his nemesis out. Remember, a Political & Legal Chess Master always thinks 20-50 moves ahead. And this Political & Legal Chess Master knew it was time to change the Foxbolt conversation.
Sorry had to answer the mans's question.. I love you CCP Falcon

What... you people don;t think it's possible that peopelw ould willing to fund a sincere leadership team to run fulltime recruiting, fleet ops, huma realtions,... all the other **** that would amke EVE so much better of people were allowed to do it for a living... I'm TELLING you.... Real ppl could make it work... and peoplew ould have to be careful who they gave their money too.... but its simply a matter of time before ppl would see the honest people actucally working for that dollar.. AND CCP would get richer... becaus ethe retention would go through the roof.... and I'd kick Mittani's ass all over EVE..... Isn't anyone kinda bored with him not being challenged???

We need change sin EVE... its what I purposed.... and I got put in time out.... Thats what happens to people that think outsid ethe box...
The EVE community had been focused on Foxbolt's history of charging corp members real money and being banned by CCP. For Foxbolt to succeed, he needed to hit the reset button on his narrative. Just before his thread was locked, Foxbolt alluded to the possibility of taking down The Mittani and the CFC, once and for all. A forum poster named John Selth asked him how he could possibly defeat the CFC. The ISD shut things down before Foxbolt could reply. That's why John Selth was copied on the call-out EVEmail.
John Selth - Your answers are....

1. Geta pproval from CCP to let us get paid by our corp leadership.....We let ppl pay for TS3, websites... Whynot let THEM decide of they wanta pau fulltime staff to run the corp. (Hoenstly... everyone knows they wanta play EVE fulltime as a job... and it would help CCP's business.)
2. Paid staff run recruiting ops, fleet ops, and human relations, etc as a full time job.
3. The retention rates would go through the ******* roof at CCP HQ.
Foxbolt had a four-step plan for defeating the CFC. The first three steps, which on the surface appeared completely unrelated to the CFC, laid the groundwork.
4. The rest is classified...... Me kicking CFC and the Mittani off the top of the pole is my little dream...
The fourth step, the most important one, would need to remain a secret for now. It would only be declassified once it was too late for The Mittani to stop it.
Anyone want help me get there??? Anyone wanta get paid to play EVE fulltime.... I mean, you dont get paid unless they WILLINGLY support you.... and people are going to pay real leadship... Mittani didnt earn that ****.. he was groomed..a nd I can drag his ass down....PERIOD.
Admiral Foxbolt concluded his EVEmail, closing the Foxbolt canon. Foxbolt's EVEmail worked on multiple levels. He knew that The Mittani, in his hubris, would be unable to shy away from a fight after being called out by his nemesis. An epic conflagration would therefore be sparked between The Mittani--EVE's most polarizing figure--and the massive but heretofore uninspired anti-CFC half of the community. The latter would be led by Admiral Foxbolt himself, as he was the only one with a comprehensive (though secret) plan to defeat the CFC. Thus, Foxbolt would be elevated from permabanned outcast to multi-coalition leader.

Now Foxbolt need only wait for The Mittani to go charging into battle against him, at which point Foxbolt would become the champion of half of EVE.

To be continued...

Actually, The Mittani never replied, and Foxbolt remained banned from EVE.


Which means, I suppose, that the CODE always wins.

Always.

33 comments:

  1. Loved the drama. We will miss you, Foxbolt.


    ...not really.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And out with a whimper...

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  3. After two weeks I was expecting more of a bang than this... I am disappoint, son

    ReplyDelete
  4. And this epic story concludes with the most important line:

    The Code ALWAYS wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then undock and contribute to the cause. If not, then shut up.

      Delete
    2. My contribution to the cause is well documented. You can view it by reviewing the top 15 shareholders, of which I am a member.
      Which gives me the ability to speak on behalf of the New Order with authority over miners, such as yourself.

      Delete
  5. Antigankers failed for another epic mini-series on minerbumping!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mini-series?!? There was nothing mini about that series! More like an epic space saga of...

      BOOOOORRRRRING!

      Delete
    2. you anonbears sure come here a lot for it to be "booooorrrring"

      Delete
  6. I disagree that The Mittani is EVE's most polarizing figure. The most polarizing figure in EVE runs this blog.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Man that was epic!

    That Foxbolt is a total whackjob.

    The CODE always wins, always!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Rebel Leader #2,354 is down... next!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Somewhat anti-climatic ending. The truth doesn't always work out for the "hero".

    What a sad, sad human. RIP Foxbolt. You f'ing whackjob.

    ReplyDelete
  10. http://pastebin.com/kr1T85Xq

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    Replies
    1. That fukin meltdown was magnificent

      Delete
    2. it was fuckin hilarious!

      Delete
  11. the best 14-episode minerbumping story yet!!!!! Praise James!

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  12. My face right now:

    https://diaryofadepressed20something.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/its-finally-over.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  13. sad thing is - Foxbolt was probably one of the better Federal Employees.

    ReplyDelete
  14. can someone give me a few tugs to finish me off? I only need like 5, 6 tugs tops.

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  15. I'm still wondering what these "treads" are. Is he a tire technician now?

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  16. is... is it over? Are we done here?

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  17. And the Saga had ended the only way it could, With the Absolute Victory of the Code! To those who feel disappointment at the ending, just remember. It's like going on an epic journey. Its not the destination, its the trip there that makes it special.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Having nothing better to do than write up this shit.
    Proof that anti-ganking is winning. Always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment is proof of content generated by Code (even for AG). Code wins. Always.

      Delete
  19. I have to admit I was expecting more of a bang with the ending but foxbolts' overuse of ellipses is truly special.

    ReplyDelete
  20. *yawn* Nice job dragging it out in order to harvest blog site visits though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah who knew adding content to a blog would make keep coming back huh

      Delete
  21. Meh, this story kind of fizzled at its finale... Sadly, no delivery has been made today.

    ReplyDelete

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