Monday, December 21, 2015

The Guilty Bystander, Part 1

Agent Ezzemiah Delma was minding her own business, destroying miners' containers in Elonaya, when suddenly she was attacked by a rebel Drake.

The result was exactly what you'd expect: One dead rebel Drake. This was an extraordinary victory for the New Order, but our Agents are not known for resting on their laurels. The ambitious Ezzemiah was determined to capitalize on her victory by using it to teach any potential rebels in Elonaya about the greatness of the Code.
Ezzemiah Delma > Kill: Amok Tokamak (Drake) Miners, assaults on Agents of the Code will not be tolerated and will be met with extreme prejudice.
Tenoh > shut up fucker
Ezzemiah Delma > Calm down miner
Tenoh > i am not a miner you fucker
If you only had the chat log, you might assume Tenoh was an alt of the Drake pilot. Actually, the Drake pilot never said anything in local, and Tenoh had nothing to do with him. For some reason, this bystander was angry enough about the Drake loss to shed tears on his behalf.
Ezzemiah Delma > you sure talk like one. Keep local clean.
Tenoh > or what bitch
Ezzemiah Delma > Or you run the risk of looking like a goofus
Tenoh > i dont care, your human scum who needs to die in real life
...And we're off to the races.
Abisius Xarvenius > code = religiose fanatics with no honor
Tenoh > this whole game is based on fuckers like code
Tenoh > brings worst out in humans, fuck ccp
Tenoh > so yeah fuck you and your code
Tenoh wasted no time. His fury accelerated immediately to the maximum. All this, simply from hearing about the New Order destroying someone else's ship.
Ezzemiah Delma > Calm down miner. Being so irate does no good to your health.
Tenoh > lol, dont you have anything better to do? or no ballz to go out to nullsec?
Ezzemiah Delma > I spend plenty of time in nullsec.
Tenoh > then why are you defending the fuckin code?
Ezzemiah Delma > Because highsec is worth fighting for
The hypocritical highsec dweller demanded to know why Ezzemiah didn't live in nullsec. It's among the most nonsensical carebear clich├ęs: Our average Agent has spent far more time in nullsec than any highsec miner has.
Ezzemiah Delma > I am an agent of the Code. It is my duty to enforce the laws.
Tenoh > fighting for ...who?
Ezzemiah Delma > for highsec! The Code makes highsec a better place!
Tenoh > your an idiot, nazis were the same,so are the americans
Ezzemiah Delma > Once again, calm down miner.
Tenoh > once again or what?
Ezzemiah Delma > or you might have an aneurism.
Tenoh's rage spared no one: The Code, CCP, America, Nazis--they were all the same.
Tenoh > awww,does that worry you?
Ezzemiah Delma > Of course. I care about the well being of all highsec citizens
Tenoh > your the enemy of all high sec citizens and you dont even see it or just dont care
Ezzemiah Delma > Amok Tokamak Free fitting advice with the purchase of a mining permit!
Tenoh > dont pay those fuckers
Tenoh > fuck you and your shit code
Tenoh > your not the law
The silent Drake pilot was offered a signing bonus, but Tenoh urged him not to take it. Why did he care so much, anyway?
Ezzemiah Delma > You can get in trouble with CCP. Its against the Eula.
Tenoh > i dont care
Tenoh > pls tell them that
Tenoh > ccp are greedy scum just like you, they made this to help bring out worst in people.... why would i like them
Ezzemiah Delma > well you play tgheir game
Tenoh > i like the graphics,not the ashole players
I've often observed that carebears view the world in reverse. Tenoh felt EVE was worth playing for the graphics; the only downside was that whole single-shard MMO PvP sandbox thing.
Tenoh > so yeah,fuck you and your code
Ezzemiah Delma > Such an angry miner you make. If you are so mad about us, why don't you come out and fight us? Make a difference?
Tenoh > cause i got no chance? you think i am stupid?
Ezzemiah Delma > Of yourse you got no chance. THe Code Always Wins, Always.
Tenoh > yeah, just hear your self saying that lol... code this,code that... are you a religious nut? oh well, youll get bored one day.
It's rare to see a rebel carebear actually admit that they have no chance of defeating our Agents. Later, we'll see that Tenoh has been harboring a grudge against the New Order for a very long time. Is Tenoh a canary in a coal mine? Is he a sign of things to come, when all the carebears finally recognize our invincibility?
Enaka Oriki > What miners need to do is make one big hi-sec alliance and declare war on you guys.
Ezzemiah Delma > They would fail
Enaka Oriki > I doubt it.
Ezzemiah Delma > Antiganking has been trying for years and have failed daily.
Tenoh > but would make your life alot harder
Ezzemiah Delma > why would it? 99% of our people are -10 and can be shot anytime
Tenoh > so what?
Another concerned miner spoke up, proposing the creation of a massive miner alliance. His plan was to gather all the miners together in one place and activate a wardec against CODE. Wait, is this a miner's plan or ours? At any rate, the brilliance of Enaka's plan was enough to give Tenoh a glimmer of hope for the first time in who knows how long. Would he calm down at last?

To be continued...


  1. ...never seen a guy so upset by a drake killmail that wasn't even his.

    Popcorn time!

  2. that drake fit...

    guessing the angry dude is the drake alt.

  3. Based on the fail fit of the Drake this was definitely staged by CODE. agent(s) to incite drama in local.

    1. Don't forget to mention that all Code agents are just alts of James 315!!!

    2. also the anon posters on both sides are also alts used to drum up hits for this blog...

    3. @Anon1:20

      I doubt it.

      Most players that come to this blog come here to read the, (and get this) entirely true stories of James 315 and his eight-year mission of enforcing the New Halaima Code of Conduct.

      Note that I did not encase that in tildes, indicating sarcasm. The New Order faithfully reports the things that miners actually say in attempt to educate and inform the public about the moral depravity of mining, and what it can do to a person's soul.

      We seek to save these souls from their self-imposed path to mediocrity and irrelevance, by introducing the most profound, inspired, and relevant document ever produced. The Code, and by spreading the word of the Saviour Of Highsec, James 315. (praise Him)

  4. Looks like antiganking failed for ANOTHER day!

  5. This story has potential to become epic. Do not fail this time, please.

  6. What tremendous victory? I've read this post twice and I don't see it.

    Your pirate killed a shit-fit Drake.
    The CODE never wins, it's actually impossible.
    You've confirmed there are stupid people in the local channel.

    Where's your victory? Getting a rage filled chat window from a moron that's not even involved is fun, sure. Not sure it achieves "Great Victory" status.

    1. If you had to read it twice Abbot, no wonder you're confused.

    2. Lol, retard shoulda read it three times.

    3. Poor Veers, he doesn't like Code.

    4. @Abbot

      Right there at the end, you admit that Code Enforcement is fun.

      You're damn right it is. Code Enforcement is not just our duty, (all of ours,) but it is also damn fun.

      And it is the "damn fun" part of it that makes it a "Great Victory" over the forces of carebearism.

  7. That races comment got me good...!

  8. Wait, a massive high sec alliance based on people who say

    "Tenoh > i like the graphics,not the ashole players"

    Tenoh is crying out for education. Continual ganking, and a free pack of crayons.

  9. Tsk Tsk... Real life threats made, by miners, at innocent Agents of the New Order. Don't these miners understand that we are playing a video game? That has laws? And customs? Such as: "People should not threaten to kill other people in real life over a video game?"

    This is why Highsec needs The Code, and before we are finished, ALL will have The Code. Whether they want it or not.

  10. When will players learn, the only thing code members are interested in are tears and people raging in local so they can be posted on this site. If no miner nor anyone else commented either on the forums or in local this site along with the code movement would just disappear. What would James post on this site if there was no response from the miners, kills of the week and you can find more impressive kills than whats on here. I don't have anything against code, everyone can play eve as they want so please don't take this comment as anti code as I am neither for nor against them

    1. For someone who is supposedly indifferent to us, you seem kind of wrapped up with making us "just disappear"...

      -Galaxy Pig

  11. I'm bored is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. See the link below for more info.



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