Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Jack Knows You

What's your EVE legacy? How will you be remembered? Nullsec grunts and line members struggle to add a unique contribution to their empire. If you're a highsec carebear, the answer to the question is easy: You won't be remembered--unless your antics were highlighted here on MinerBumping. For Agents of the New Order, it's also an easy question. Theirs will be the greatest glory in all EVE.


Agent Jack Van Impe found fame and glory in the enforcement of the Code. No matter where he goes in highsec, people know him and what he stands for. By contrast, the miners he ganks are relatively anonymous. Today, let's look behind the tearmails and gain a better understanding of the miners whose burning hulls light up Jack's legacy.


One of the most common complaints we get from miners is that they weren't given sufficient warning or explanation of the Code. Considering how miners react when they are informed of the Code, it's hard to give much weight to the complaint.


What inspires someone like Iden reedwell to make an (in-game) threat like the one above? He lost a 41 million isk Covetor. Miners get cranky when they're forced to interact with the game too much.


Jack ganked Ronin Tonnonchy's rookie ship and empty pod. This was enough to motivate Ronin to declare a foreverwar. This seemed incredible to Jack, so he asked the carebear to confirm that he was serious about his empty threat.


Fun fact: This was how "The Empire Strikes Back" originally ended, but someone persuaded George Lucas to change it.


As seen here, Jack attempted to raise the level of discourse. If you've ever doubted the importance of the New Order, consider that if it weren't for our Agents, highsec would be filled with nothing but people like Ronin Tonnonchy.


I guess the apple fell far from the tree this time.


For our final round, keep in mind that Stella Southstar's sole inspiration was the loss of her precious 60 million isk Covetor.


If it ended here, no big deal. This EVEmail is about 60 million isk worth of effort for a carebear who isn't used to making more than a few mouse-clicks per hour.


Rebel miners aren't known for their foresight. If they had any, they would buy permits. Jack politely informed Stella of how their story would really end. Deprived of her false hope, Stella was ripe for a proper tearmail.


This illustrates an important lesson about governing highsec. To rule the miners, you need to win their hearts and minds. That's difficult to do when the only thing you know about a miner is "fuck you". By engaging Stella in conversation, Jack was able to get a clearer picture of her needs, concerns, and ambitions. She didn't know it, but the former Covetor pilot was one step closer to getting a permit and obeying the Code.

With all due respect to Admiral Foxbolt, we don't need people to create corps for the purpose of enhancing human relations and player retention. The New Order's already got those things covered.

30 comments:

  1. I will be remembered for trolling this blog. Besides, I have something for you guys to chew on.

    Breaking News
    San Bernidino, CA: Two gunmen who have been identified as Loyalanon and Super Perforator walked into the county regional center and opened fire with automatic weapons and antimatter rounds. Fourteen people were killed and dozens injured in the massacre. The perpetrators escaped in a black SUV and were later cornered by CONCORD police D.E.D. The two gunmen were killed in a shoot out with CONCORD and faction navy police. CONCORD revoked their medical clones so this time, they are permanently dead...maybe.

    It was later found that there were explosive devices present. The explosives were found by a police sweep of the area. When they were found, the bomb squad was called in to remove them. "These explosives were remote controlled, but due to a design flaw, they were rendered inoperable" CONCORD spokesman, That CONCORD Announcer Guy said in a press release. He continued to state "We have evidence that these individuals are members the Islamic terrorist organization ISIS, Islamic State, which is not to be confused with the Interbus Ship Idendification System."

    The elusive James 315 who is widely considered to be the leader of ISIS and of another terrorist organization known as CODEdot, still ineffectively claims that he is the father of highsec in his deslusions of grandure. "His claim of sovergnty over all of highsec is dubious at best as the empires are the ones who actually control highsec" states phycologist Edmond Floyd. "It is a well known fact that he is a coward who has others do his dirty work for him. He is delusional, but he somehow brainwashes others into fighting and dying for him. It is remarkable really. If we could capture him alive, he would make an interesting research subject."

    In other news, the true coward of the New Order, Ming Tso, still refuses to undock after her ship loss more than a year ago.

    BM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm... It seems that with this last patch, CCP changed the name of ISIS to Ship Tree.

      BM

      Delete
    2. Wow. You really are a piece of human trash. Thanks for letting us all know. If Erotica can get permabanned for 'actions on a 3rd party website' this should be more than enough to have you permabanned from the game.

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      Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    3. why the fuck would you want to be know for this?

      Delete
    4. The irony of the carebear - proudly displayed by BM for all to see.

      Delete
    5. The sad thing is BM, you see absolutely nothing wrong with your post. Conflating a disgusting rl terrorist event with characters from an online blowing up spaceships game.

      Truly tragic.

      Delete
    6. He also thinks that what he does is "trolling". He is attempting to go for the shock factor but in effect he is actually just showing everyone the true face of AG.
      No one is shocked or trolled. We just honestly believe that you are an idiot.

      Delete
    7. The number of people that play this game and have that very mentality is staggering. It just proves how disconnected some of these people are from the real world. I was waiting for someone to compare ganking to that incident, and here we are only days later. Very poor form, indeed.

      Delete
    8. What's the matter codies? Don't like your shit shoved back in your face, in your own house? Because that's what I did. Don't forget, it was I who first equated the New Order with the Islamic terrorists such as ISIS, Al Qadea, Hezbolla, Hamas, etc....

      Are you offended at my post? You are? Good. Because that was the plan. If you don't understand why, then you should perhaps read this because it will explain alot. And for those of you who don't know my MO, go look back at my previous posts. This is what I do.

      @Nitetime Video: All name calling are complements.

      @Apache: What E1 did was truly pathetic because he actually drove an individual towards a mental breakdown and his wife to have some sort of panic attack in the name of having fun in the game. For that reason, E1 was permabanned. Besides, you demonstrated that you cared so much to respond to me that I am flattered. Well done!

      Besides, I'm out to show the world that the New Order is filled with sociopathic people that, if the game ever folds, will be joining said terrorist groups. Don't get me wrong, I am appalled by these mass killings: Colombine, Sandy Hook, 9/11, London Subway, Paris, Colorado Theater, a summer camp in Canada, Arizona, and now San Bernidino. I just do what I can to make the best of a bad situation. If my methods offend you, then that's your problem, nit mine.

      BM

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    9. Once again.. you aren't "offending" anyone. You are showing everyone who you truly are by making light of real world tragedies and comparing them to video games. You try to hide behind the guise of an "internet troll" but we all know you are just a pathetic person who cannot separate real life from the virtual world.
      Spin my response however you like.
      inb4 "epic tears, Nitetime Video. Looks like I struck a nerve. (paste other cliche failtroll statements here for effect)"

      Delete
    10. "Besides, I'm out to show the world that the New Order is filled with sociopathic people that, if the game ever folds, will be joining said terrorist groups."

      The only thing you have ever show is how willfully stupid and delusional Carebears like yourself are.

      Delete
    11. BM is like school in summer. Absolutely no class.

      Delete
    12. So... in this twisted comment, am I supposed to be the wife?

      Delete
  2. Why would a rational person care about their "Eve Legacy"? It's just a game, right? Don't Jamey's minions preach that to their victims why they are harvesting tears?

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  3. I literally laughed out loud at this:

    "Fun fact: This was how "The Empire Strikes Back" originally ended, but someone persuaded George Lucas to change it."

    Comedy gold!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The only things that the NO will be remembered for are as follows:

    1. The epic failure of Alliance Tournament 2014.

    2. Claiming that highsec ganking is elite PvP.

    3. Jimmy Boy 315's weird glowing ass that has since gone off the spectrum.

    4. What the 315 does to the corpses that his agents give him.

    5. The sociopathic members like Loyalamoron who would have joined ISIS but was side tracked by playing this game. So they are terrorists in game.

    I'll add more when I think of it.

    BM.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Butthurt Miner

      1. The New Order will most certainly be remembered for our shining victory in Alliance Tournament XII. We took out an entire Alliance Tournament team's ships, and all their backups. Truly it was a glorious victory for the New Order, and carebears will never let anyone forget that. And I agree, it is a day that will truly go down in history.

      2. Lest you forget, CODE. members continually top the killboards as those who inflict the most amount of ISK damage to their opponents, bar none. We are at the top of the killboards, because we are the best and most elite at PvP.

      3. I'm not sure where you are getting the "weird glowing ass" thing that you keep repeating.. but k

      4. Corpses are items

      5. I'm concerned for your own penchant for terrorism, Butthurt Miner. All CODE. does is win at the game of Elite PvP in EVE, all day long. And what you do is called "getting angry at the fact that we win at the game of Elite PvP in EVE, all day long."

      I mean I'm sure that the IS has come about because they were mad about something, just like you. If you were to look at our Code, you would find that we do what we do, not out of anger, but out of compassion. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope you don't get yourself on a no-fly list or something, as our society becomes increasingly intolerant of hate speech.

      Delete
    2. * Takes cocks out of mouth *

      Why don't you just shut the fuck up and undock once in awhile. Jesus Christ you are fucking useless, Ming

      * Puts cocks back in mouth *

      Delete
    3. So Ming, how is your gang record cumming along? To answer your point #3, read here in the comments section: http://www.minerbumping.com/2014/04/confession-is-good-for-soul.html

      Delete
  5. Nothing better than carebears that are so pissed they can't spell :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. For those who care to, simply go to BM's google profile and report him for hate speech. Nowadays Google is pretty sensitive about this sort of thing, and with any luck they will shut down his profile and ban his account. I also recommend sending screen shot of his comments to CCP, before he deletes them. Again, hopefully CCP will permaban this scum.
    ----------
    Mike Adoulin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or just ignore it because it doesn't even troll well.

      Delete
    2. Nah, much more fun to get him thrown off Google and EVE both.
      ---------
      Mike Adoulin

      Delete
    3. Nice try, but what I post here is considered free speech buddy. My opinion. Also, I don't post here with my in-game account information, so there you go. Hell, I even post through an anonymous proxy, so good luck with that.

      Delete
    4. I've seen people get perma'd for worse. You apparently haven't been here that long. Nice try though.

      Delete
  7. I, for one, am happy to hear that highsec ganking is a deterrent to joining ISIS. Clearly if we just get more and more people to gank miners, ISIS will run out of new recruits before we know it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I like someone who is so badly upset by their video space game losses that they compare other players in the video space game to real life terrorists. I've been smart bombed, podded, ganked on undocks, and blown up all over lowsec, and I'm what you would call a carebear. You know what I didn't do? Lose my shit over it. I was annoyed at losing my ship, but not mad at the other guy for doing it. Then I bought a new ship and went back out. I'm not a CODE member, but as long as this is the reaction, the CODE will always win.

    ReplyDelete

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