Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Superhero of Metropolis, Part 3

Previously, on MinerBumping...


Rhamnousia Nemesis was about the drop the hammer on her mortal enemy, Agent Alt 00. So far, Rhamnousia had only shed tears in local chat. But the villainous carebear warned that her revenge could take place at any moment.


Agents of the New Order don't have time to worry about threats. They're too busy being awesome and constantly winning, as seen here.


For reasons Alt 00 couldn't discern, LISA Estidal reacted to being ganked by spamming in local. Alt 00 didn't speak Russian, but just to be safe, she told the miner to calm down. This is what we call a New Order "best practice". Rare are the occasions when a highsec miner doesn't benefit from calming down--except when they fall asleep at their keyboards.


Luckily for Agent 00 and her new friend, New Order linguists have translated the Code into Russian and other languages. (Kalorned is still offering a 100 million isk bounty to anyone who can provide a good French translation.)


LISA's spamming became uncontrollable. Agent 00 had no choice but to use Google Translate as best she could.


Though far from perfect, Google Translate is still accurate enough to determine if a miner is mad.


Russian miners are like neighborhood dogs: Once one starts barking, it sets off all the others in the area.


LISA may have threatened to rage-quit, but Alt 00 couldn't be sure. Satisfied that she'd done her due diligence, our hero dropped a good "praise James" in local and went on her way. Days later, there was still no sign of Rhamnousia Nemesis. Alt 00 had almost forgotten about her.


Still on the lookout for her nemesis, Alt 00 happened upon a Noctis and opened fire. Intriguingly, the ship was too well-tanked to destroy. Had the Code failed for the first time?


The industrialist, Leia Jadesol, seemed familiar somehow. And she was behaving in a manner far more Gallant than one would expect. What could all this mean?


It was fate: Leia Jadesol was a New Order shareholder, not a bot-aspirant.


The Code always wins--always--and this occasion was no exception to the rule. As time passed, Alt 00 came to the conclusion that Rhamnousia Nemesis wouldn't be showing up again. The New Order's nemesis had been defeated off-screen, apparently. It's just as well. All the time in the world wouldn't be enough for our Agents to witness every rebel defeat.

33 comments:

  1. The Saviour always hits the nail on the head!

    "Russian miners are like neighborhood dogs: Once one starts barking, it sets off all the others in the area."

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm pretty sure it's a Code violation to use anything other than English in local.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its also a code violation to not have cock in your mouth. Open wide fagboy.

      Delete
    2. Carebear vermin trying desperately @8:01: I have roast chicken every day. And what's your point?
      @John XIII: I'm afraid not old sport.

      Delete
    3. You said the same thing in that harpy fleet to that FCON duder Fawn, fess up.

      Delete
  3. Wow antigankers failed for another mini-series on minerbumping!

    They must enjoy failing non-stop daily continuously repetitively ALL the time!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow code failed for another mini-series on minerbumping!

      They must enjoy sucking cock and raping babies with baseball bats non-stop daily continuously, repetitively, ALL the time!!!!1

      Delete
    2. when I see fake wolfs efforts at trolling

      link

      Delete
  4. TRUMP/JAMES315 2016 SUCK IT LOW ENERGY LOSER AFK MINERS!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. This story's finale lacks the ooomph to impress. Alas, another delivery not made.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's difficult for tension to build towards a climactic showdown between the hero and the villain when the latter goes afk halfway through. It is only through the storytelling prowess of the Savior of Highsec that such seemingly mundane victories are transformed into epic tales of triumph. Praise James!

      Delete
    2. A story must be epic or untold. Everything in between is a failure. This story is neither epic nor untold, a failure. You are spreading failure, is that what you want? Is that what your saviour wants?

      Delete
  6. "On the other hand...Russians"

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  7. even the strongest warrior must be aware that he not acciedntly takes on the perspective of his enemies.

    when the agent sees a permit, that is not on top of a bio, he should not assume the holer did so out of shame. the thought a permit could be shameful to the owner should not be the first thought of an agent, this is the thought of a bot aspirant.

    a persons bio is a very personal matter and tied closely to the personality of an individum. a loyal civic could be engage in very few highsec or even mining related activities. therefore said individuum could whish to place personal statements and expressions in his bio above his permit without being a bot aspirant.

    i think the code should embrace this sign of individuality and not feel threatend by it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you should get your mining permit XD

      Delete
    2. I think you should shut the fuck up you useless excuse for a human being. Don't you have cock to suck or a 10 year old girl to rape you dumbass faggot.

      Delete
    3. I think you should get your cock sucking permit XD

      Delete
    4. very low quality trolling, it's like they're not even trying anymore.

      Delete
    5. The level of trolling has lowered to the level of the content...

      Delete
    6. Disagree, still as good a read as ever for me

      Delete
    7. @Anon 2:25
      I have legitimate question, Anon.

      You have not disputed that The Code is the Most Important Document in EVE, and you have not challenged the common-sense provision in The Code that states that all miners shall have permits in their bios.

      What you are challenging is merely the position of said permit in the bios.

      Doesn't it make sense to you that since The Code is the "Most Important Document In All Of EVE," that it makes sense that the New Order Mining Permit would naturally take the top spot in any hypothetical bio? And that it would be an insult to The Code to grant it any other position? Similar to how in the United States it is an insult to the flag to fly any other banners above it?

      I look forward to your response.

      Delete
    8. the code may be the most important document in eve. but the bio is the most imporatant way for any eve citizen to express his personality to strangers. (aside of direct player to player interactions, of course. but then, someone you had good pvp with, can hardly be a stranger anymore)

      the aviable space to use for the bio already is limited. if i write something new into my bio, i have to delete something else. in my book, showing my permit in my bio shows my support, no matter at whitch position it stands.
      i dont think it should be seen as a sign of rebellion if a citisen decides that his personality has even more defining features then his mining permit (after all, we should not assume that everyone who owns a permit is a permanent resident of highsec)
      that said, one should judge every bio with open eyes. having 200 empty lines in ones bio before the permit indeed would indicate someone do not want the permit to be seen. on the other hand, it should be perfectly fine to have a pice of poetry, an image, or even proof of combat prowness as first entry in a bio.

      i think its very easy to overstep here and one should be careful not to do so.

      Delete
  8. Once again, Anti-Gankers show themselves to be nothing other than venomous and incompetent.

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    Replies
    1. they're low energy losers.

      Delete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  10. The person behind the FSOP saga, is a character called Bury Rude and is the operations director of a corp called Defy. Based out of Hakeri in the Panorad System. They won't buy mining permits and do not see James 315 as the rightful heir to high-sec. There is fuck all you lot can do about it either, they have friends in Null and your alliance will be destroyed if you try to enforce the CODE in the Hakeri System.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Anon6:31

      What exactly is this "FSOP" saga that you are referring to, and why does the New Order care about people who, as you put it, "have powerful friends in nullsec," which we don't care about anyway?

      Delete

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