Thursday, December 10, 2015

The Best Legal System in Highsec

To some, a good legal system is one that resembles trial by combat: Two attorneys battle it out and the truth reveals itself during the clash. Meh. So much uncertainty remains. The best legal system is one in which there is one agreed-upon reality, a controlled environment with no room for doubt. In such a system, the defendant confesses his guilt, enthusiastically--ecstatically, even. The trial shows the world that everyone is on the same page, marching together in perfect harmony.


Highsec industrialist ToJas O'Dunlaing was hanging out with some Agents while he awaited his day in court.


ToJas' alt, Torian O'Dunlaing, had been caught in Uedama with a triple-anti-tanked freighter. He didn't wish to remain an enemy of the state. He wanted to take full responsibility for what he had done. Only then could he get a fresh start.


In modern highsec, justice is swift. It didn't take long for part-time judge 412nv Yaken to get to ToJas' case.


Typically, Agents of the New Order are Renaissance men with a wide variety of skills and interests. In addition to being an elite PvP'er, HotShotX Warcastle is an accomplished space lawyer.


There was no question of ToJas' guilt. He'd been ganked by New Order Agents, after all. The only issue was how ToJas could reconcile himself to highsec society and rejoin civilization.


HotShotX Warcastle delivered a brilliant speech on behalf of his client. The Agent knew the proper way to help a defendant in a New Order court. The purpose wasn't to help someone escape the consequences of a crime he'd committed by denying his guilt; it was to demonstrate to all an important lesson about the Code. The real benefit of a trial like this is that it reinforces the community's faith in the system.


As 412nv Yaken took a moment to consider his decision, the well-behaved masses waited patiently.


Whatever the judge decided, everyone was 100% confident it would be fair and just.


Controversy and drama are unnecessary in a truly well-run legal system. Everyone can walk away from the trial with a smile.


As expected, a fair result. As part of ToJas' rehabilitation, he was instructed to receive baptism by CONCORD.


It was a wonderful occasion. ToJas helped kill an unlicensed miner and received a shiny new killmail.


The rebels think they can use space lawyering to weasel out of the Code, or even to get Agents banned from EVE. But in a New Order court, the whole view of space law as an adversarial system is seen as a relic of the past. Why should participants in court battle each other, when they can all agree that the real enemy is bot-aspirancy?


Despite entering a guilty plea, ToJas O'Dunlaing felt like he'd won in court that day. In truth, he absolutely did. ToJas got right with the Code, and the CODE always wins, always. Everybody was a winner. Except maybe the guy ToJas ganked, but even he received content. Smiles all around, exactly as intended.

47 comments:

  1. *meh* Seems made up.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Every great civilization needs a solid judicial system, complete with a flourishing ecosystem of spacelawyers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Space is where lawyers belong.

      The only thing I want to do with a lawyer is put them in space and leave them there. I'll even give them a suit.


      Minus a helmet.

      Delete
  3. Wow! What a turnaround! I guess it's true, and today it is absolutely impossible to deny.

    The Code ALWAYS Wins!!!! ALWAYS!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. meh, seems made up

      Ming has to be made up, it never undocks

      Delete
    2. Hey Ming, why don't you undock and play with us instead of playing with yourself? At least be useful and contribute to the cause. Oh yeah, I forgot... You are a coward.

      Delete
    3. Hey Anon@1:13,

      why don't you go up there to the top of this page and review the Top Shareholders of New Order Stock and check for my name? And then come back and tell me I don't contribute to the New Order!

      Typical miner. Delusional to the point of morbundity.

      Delete
  4. Antigankers failed.... wait for it..... AGAIN!!!!!1

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Undeniable and Certified Fake Wolf Soprano as Appointed by the Committee of Fake SopranosDecember 11, 2015 at 12:09 AM

      I would like to turn everyone's attention to a big problem. Someone has been impersonating me. This is a direct violation of the Convention of Soprano Impersonation and further violations will be brought before the court of space-law.

      Delete
    2. Leader of the committee of Fake SopranosDecember 11, 2015 at 4:48 AM

      You have hereby been stripped of your membership. There is only 1 true Fake Wolf Soprano it isn't yet. Now get out before we burn you to the stake you filthy excuse of a human.

      Delete
    3. Actual leader of the Committee of Fake SopranosDecember 11, 2015 at 5:12 AM

      Unlike you, I didn't have to look up how to spell "committee". I also try to proofread my comments before I post them.
      Almost forgot... Grr! Code!

      Delete
    4. Verified Fake Wolf Soprano confirmed by Facts and Evidence found on the Internet and other Legitimate SourcesDecember 11, 2015 at 5:17 AM

      I'm warning you guys.. My Space Lawyer is recording ALL of this. I will not accept this slander!

      Delete
    5. blood tested, finger printed, DNA swabbed, verified and confirmed fake wolf sopranoDecember 11, 2015 at 12:18 PM

      getting real tired of your shit fake sopranos

      Delete
  5. winnars gonna win

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And cock suckers gonna suck cock. Now get on your knees you faggot.

      Delete
    2. So much anger over a video game XD XD

      Delete
    3. Fake Wolf Soprano is getting really upset these days. I wonder if it is because so many people are impersonating him? Is this even the real Fake Wolf Soprano?

      Delete
    4. Yes, yes let the anger flow through you fake wolf, your tears sustain me.

      Delete
  6. Praise be to James 315. He has shown me the way.
    Before James 315 I found myself lacking the intelligence to create content for myself. I'm too autistic to be accepted by a decent corp. My bad ship flying skills prohibit me from actual pvp against anything that can shoot back, low or null sec is way beyond me and as for wormholes....don't even get me started - where are the jump gates?
    But recently I have discovered acceptance. Recently I discovered that there is a way. Recently I discovered CODE. Thank you CODE. for showing me the way. Finally I have something to do. Together with my CODE. brothers and sisters I have content camping gates near trade hubs. I patiently wait for an afk hauler or miner to come our way. The best thing is that together with my CODE. brothers and sisters I am actually able to kill something. It took me a while to get into the swing of things but my CODE. brothers and sisters showed me how to spot the ships that are on autopilot, how to spot the easy kills. Thank you James 315 for showing me the way, thank you CODE.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This made me happy to my warp core. Praise be to James 315 and all Knights/Agents of the New Order.

    It's so much fun just to play along.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Kudos! This is a rather heartwarming post that was very much needed after reading about the tragically insane Admiral Foxbolt.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Don't ever trust a court ran by code. You will always lose because it's rigged.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, calm down. It only seems rigged because you don't have a New Order Mining Permit™. They are still on sale for the low price of 10 mil. ISK / year. All of the other stores ended their Black Friday / Cyber Monday sales.. But the New Order never stops looking out for you, the citizen.

      Delete
    2. Fuck you nitetime. Now get under my desk and suck my cock you code monkey bot faggot.

      Delete
    3. Are you so angry you're not even trying anymore?

      Delete
    4. lol.. he forgot to put "Wolf Soprano" in the name. He mad.

      Delete
    5. @Anon1:10

      Miner, calm down. Profanity is not allowed on the website Minerbumping.com, as it is considered a violation of the New Halaima Code of Conduct, which is the Law of Highsec, and of this site.

      Delete
    6. And what the actual fuck are you going to do about Ming, when your too busy sucking Jamies cock?

      Why don't you just push the undock button and actually do something for the code instead of being a useless faggot?

      Delete
    7. Miner, for the second time, I'm going to ask you to Calm Down. There is no need for profanity on a site as glorious and revered as Minerbumping.com, and the use of such only makes you look like a trite and unbecoming plebe, that can only express discontent at how it cannot deal with the idea that there is a Law of Highsec, that it was created by James 315, that it continues to be enforced, and that nothing you can do can stop it.

      It must make you feel quite helpless.

      So I will again remind you of your one and only option.

      The sooner you become Code-compliant, the sooner you will become more refined and calm in your mannerisms.

      Delete
    8. I call bullshit Ming. For someone who has never ganked a miner, or doesn't have any PvP activity for over a year now, you sure do talk an awful lot.

      How about some action to back up those words there champ.

      Delete
    9. i will fight anyone, anywhere, and at any time, provided they prove their worthiness to fight me by linking their killboard, and then proceeding to accomplish one of the three tests of valour that the Saviour clearly lays out in the New Halaima Code of Conduct.

      Once you accomplish this, only then would I feel the need to oblige you with a demonstration of my considerable skill in battle.

      Delete
    10. TLDR;

      Ming is a pussy and does nothing but run its mouth about how great he is. Really Ming, if you have really believe in Jamies lies, go out and gank some miners. Otherwise, keep quiet. You are the laughing stock of code. Even code laughs at you, thats how bad you are.

      Delete
    11. Profanity not allowed? So what.

      ass asshole bitch cunt cock dick damn fuck fag hell piss pussy

      So Ming, coping out to the James 315, the coward of highsec now? Undock, then we'll talk.

      Delete
    12. @Anon 3:26 & 8:30

      Miners, calm down.
      Your own words prove to everyone that The New Order's laws are morally, legally, and physically superior to anything that "low-class miners" such as yourself could stand for. You illustrate the very present and obvious need for well, to put it politely, genocide or reform.

      It must be extremely hard for you to look at your own words and be like "gee, I wrote those" and have to deal with the stares of those who hear you and softly shake their heads and look away from you, disgusted.

      What a shame it must be to be a miner. I thank James that I have never had the misfortune of ever setting foot in a mining ship.

      (except for that one time where seboed Procurers had like the best scanres in the game and you could instapoint ceptors with them.)

      Delete
  10. ToJas O'Dunlaing along with all permit holders are to renounce their permits immediately. There is now a splinter cell currently operating in High security space. Since the antigankers sit back and talk while more miners fall victim to these parasites. This is no ordinary cell, this is a final warning. If permit holders fail to acknowledge, they will be targeted for termination. Do not ignore us, we will find you even if you're in 1.0 security space.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How ominous and vague. How ever will CODE survive?

      Delete
    2. Could this be the proxy-war we've been waiting on? Our enemies strike back at us by (wait for it) GANKING MORE MINERS!

      LMAO Chin up, carebears!


      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
    3. This grammar structure (or lack thereof) looks familiar. JTClone?

      Delete
    4. I'm real terrified. Try me, you'll find that it serves only to increase my shiny killmails, only I won't have to lose a ship to CONCORD.

      -ToJas

      Delete
  11. Finally something new besides postings beating that poor stupid bastard into a paste even the French wouldn't eat.

    Anyway, a court-room drama it works.

    Why this pilot flew an untanked freighter through a known gank-camp I'll never know. Why this pilot shares in James delusion that CODE is more then just another little band of pirates I don't understand. I've explained several times that your "Code" can never win, it's actually impossible.

    Normally I'd rate this post 1 rat's ass. However, it's a refreshing change from the previous series composed of compressed chum, horse flesh, and carrion. Therefore, I give it 4 out of 5 rat's asses.

    Congrats James.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Abbot,

      What you are witnessing is The Code winning. This person violated the Code, and then came forth willingly and enthusiastically, and was judged fairly and impartially by a Representative of the Law of Highsec. His punishment was fair and balanced, and represented even-handedness in the eyes of the Law.

      All can look to this kind of example, as a demonstration of the mercy that New Order Agents are capable when one is earnest and humble in their devotion to the Code.

      Including you.

      Delete
    2. Ming, your "Law of Highsec" is whatever any pod-pilot decides it to be.

      As a band of pirates, CODE's "laws" only apply to those that are in range of their guns and to pilots that are too afraid and/or too stupid to follow some simple guidelines.

      A Code "judge" is about as much a true representative of the Law as I am of a Special Forces trooper.

      Delete
    3. yeah, well you smell abbot.

      Delete
  12. Welcome to the winning team, brother ToJas! May your kills be plentiful and shiney!

    -Galaxy Pig

    ReplyDelete

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