Monday, February 8, 2016

Goons to the Rescue, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Gliese 581 turned into a volcano of rage when he was ganked by Agent Chocolate Mooses. Gliese spat terrible insults at our Agent and threatened to "kick her out" of something if she didn't pay him a billion isk. Chocolate contacted her Goon superior, giovonni Anstian, who promised to investigate the matter.


Gliese's mood was much improved after he began speaking to giovonni. Knowing that someone was looking into his case and willing to reimburse him made Gliese feel a lot better.
giovonni Anstian > What did she say after you told her you had a New Order mining permit?
Gliese 581 > nohing
Gliese 581 > she just ganked me
giovonni Anstian > Wow. This is just wrong.
Gliese 581 > yeah
The alleged Goon "senior manager" couldn't have been more sympathetic to Gliese's plight.
giovonni Anstian > Let's get this sorted out.
Gliese 581 > ok ty
giovonni Anstian > Give me a moment to complete the paperwork, please.
Gliese 581 > ok
Gliese 581 > ty
Gliese was well on his way to renewed financial health. Just a few minor formalities to take care of and--
giovonni Anstian > we have a problem :(
Gliese 581 > ok
giovonni Anstian > can you please copy/paste your mining permit into your bio?
giovonni Anstian > Need to see it in your bio before I can pay you
Gliese 581 > how do i do hat
Gliese 581 > sry im a noob
The reimbursement process hit a snag. giovonni didn't have a mining permit on file for Gliese.
giovonni Anstian > Click your character sheet (top left corner, the picture of your character), then click on the "biography" tab - copy/paste your valid permit into your bio! You should have mail from the agent who sold you one, with all the instructions included.
giovonni Anstian > it's okay, we were all new once! Take your time.
Gliese 581 > i dont think i have a mining permit
The miner came to a troubling realization. Was his reimbursement in jeopardy?
giovonni Anstian > Wait, you were mining without a permit?
giovonni Anstian > Well, let's get that fixed. That's why Chocolate shot you! All miners in high-sec are required to have a valid mining permit.
giovonni Anstian > This is making sense now! :-)
Gliese 581 > ic
When Chocolate told Gliese about the permit earlier, Gliese had responded, "this convo is OVER BLOCKED NOW FAGGOT HAHAHAAH". The miner had become considerably more peaceable since then.
Gliese 581 > how do i get one
giovonni Anstian > Mining permits are 10 million ISK per year, and they are good for a whole year - they are a vital part of the New Haliama Code of Conduct, you can read about it here: http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html
giovonni Anstian > Once you have you, you place it in your bio, and as long as you are following the code - you will never be ganked by any agent of the New Order. It's really the only safe way to mine in high-sec.
Gliese 581 > ic i will get one
Indeed, Gliese was starting to appear downright compliant.
Gliese 581 > how do i sent u the money
giovonni Anstian > Oh!
giovonni Anstian > Just right click my name, and click "give money" - then type in 10000000 (8 zeros!) - that is 10 million ISK
Gliese 581 > ok done
giovonni Anstian > I see it! Ok, now just wait in chat here for a few mins, let me get your permit in our database and make sure you are 100% set, so this never happens again.
Gliese 581 > ok
Things were looking up for Gliese. He hadn't gotten his billion isk ransom, true. And to be sure, he wasn't going to receive any reimbursement. Instead, he was paying money out. Yet he still felt like a winner.
giovonni Anstian > Take your time, miner. The love of James 315 is patient, it is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Gliese 581 > good>?
giovonni Anstian > You missed the "All praise to James 315, the savior of hisec!" part. That part is really special and needs to be there.
The helpful Goon assisted Gliese with his new bio. Within a few moments, he was all set:


Look at that happy miner!
giovonni Anstian > Ok, checking...
giovonni Anstian > Perfect!
Gliese 581 > ty very much buddy
Gliese 581 > ur a great help
Gliese 581 > no more axe to grnd
giovonni Anstian > Thank you, glad we got you all fixed!
Gliese 581 > ty very mcuh
Gliese 581 > take care !
giovonni Anstian > Have a wonderful night, may James 315 bless you!
Gliese is another example of why our Agents never give up. When first asked to buy a permit, the miner's behavior was disgraceful. He would've told anyone who asked that he'd "never" pay. When given enough opportunities, however, he changed his tune. A few weeks later, Gliese decided that highsec mining wasn't for him. He removed his permit, abandoned the life of a miner, and went off to nullsec to join Pandemic Horde. Though discarding one's permit is wasteful, Gliese no longer poses a threat to the safety and tranquility of highsec. It was a victory for the miner, our Agents, and the Code. Highsec, rejoice!

31 comments:

  1. I certainly did not forsee the ending of this adventure to include the sale of a permit and yet another convert to The Code!

    Looks like The Code is winning Yet AGAIN!!!!1

    Praise James!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
  2. Looks like antiganking is failing non-stop continously daily ALL the time!!!!!11

    ReplyDelete
  3. "let me get your permit in our database" - lol, as if such a thing even exists.

    CHODE. pulling wool over the eyes of high-sec suckers daily.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why wouldn't it exist?

      Delete
    2. Because denial is the thing that carebears turn to that they it think stops the ganks.


      Delete
    3. Hey chodeanon, do your eyes both point forward at the same time? Curiosity and all

      Delete
    4. @Ming Tso 8:39PM

      Can you please provide objective proof that such a CHODE. database of permit holders exists? Details like what DBMS is being used, what front end is utilized to perform simple CRUD activities, what security framework is being used, etc. would be helpful.

      Delete
    5. Well, I cannot provide any evidence whether or not a "CHODE" database exists, (probably not) but I can certainly provide evidence that a "CODE." Permit Database exists. The information that you reference is available to administrative members of the CODE. Alliance, and due to the small amount of information that is actually being kept on our permit holders, (namely Character Name, permit issue date, and issuing Agent, 3 whole fields of data) I'm sure someone with the "vast" database experience that you have could easily determine that something as simple as Google Docs could satisfy the necessary requirements to hold such a complicated array of data.

      It is a wonder how well the inventions of the New Order keep us all up to date!

      Delete
    6. That miner really needs to just calm down and purchase a permit and get into our database.

      Delete
    7. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
  4. Yay! I love a happy ending. This miner was saved, and hopefully are enjoying a life of happy mining and following the laws of space! All praise three and fifteen and all the brave agents for their tireless efforts to make Highsec a better place for all.

    ReplyDelete
  5. giovonni Anstian > Take your time, miner. The love of James 315 is patient, it is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

    This brought a smile to my face. It's reminiscent of how James tends to slip little references into his own writing. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Code permit talk makes me sick to my stomach. I mine without one all the time, but I fit my barges properly to make ganking an effort for code. I'm not ungankable but I'll try to make any gankers choke on my ship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Prove it or gtfo whinebear.
      Thanks for your tears

      Delete
    2. I use a skiff, em hardener, along with an adaptive invulnerability field, and a medium shield extender, as well as a DC2. And possibly rigs for extra ehp. Easily over 50k ehp. I use that in Gamis for ice mining often. And it's equally safe to use ming anywhere else in high sec. Quite durable if a bit pricey, haven't lost it to a gank yet, and I've had some fail gank attempts on me.

      Delete
    3. Yep, good thing you have that EM hardner, what with all the EM damage cats do...

      Delete
    4. Ha-ha, they deal thermal and kinetic I know, but I doubt cats are the only ships gankers use.

      Delete
    5. Yet here you are on the official site crying about it

      Delete
    6. Thats not proof you sperglord. Link your character so i can watch it mine without a permit.
      Or you're full of shit.

      Delete
    7. Now why would I tell you where to aim your noobtube? Goodnight fellas. Enjoy the tearfarming

      ~your resident 'whinebear'

      Delete
    8. If it makes you sick to your stomach, why are you reading this blog? Wouldn't you rather have a nice chat about Jesus?

      Delete
  7. I sense a permit check campaign in Gamis incoming.........

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They seem to have abandoned gamis as far as I can tell

      Delete
  8. ALL HAIL JERRY RIN, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!

    ReplyDelete
  9. All hail Alphabet Soup!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Give money.... 10 mil..... " 8 zeros" hmm....

    ReplyDelete
  11. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-R1oU71faSHI/U6EuAyW3KII/AAAAAAAAAfw/o6fUH1zFvK0/s1600/liar+liar2keep.jpg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miner, we're going to have to ask you to calm down and learn how to link things on the internet world pipe machine.

      Delete

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