Wednesday, February 17, 2016

The Elite PvP Advisor, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... While peacefully tending to someone else's mission wrecks, Agents Krig Povelli and Shin Dragoran came under attack from two members of the New Eden Missionaries alliance: DEFANDER and Nillith Astari. Our heroes easily defeated DEFANDER's Golem and Nillith's cruisers. The villains were salty after losing their ships to the New Order. But Agent Shin came up with a plan that he believed might help everyone: He offered to join the carebears' alliance as an advisor.
Shin Dragoran > I can teach him
DEFANDER > I'll let him know cause we are seriously lacking in PvP and he's eagre ro learn
Shin Dragoran > You could hire me as an advisor
Shin Dragoran > I won't charge isk, I just need a shelter corp for a couple weeks
DEFANDER > deal
Shin Dragoran was quickly accepted into one of the corps in the New Eden Missionaries alliance. He knew it wouldn't be easy to train them in the art of elite PvP. He would need to be more of a drill sergeant than a Mr. Miyagi. So at the first opportunity, Shin initiated an unscheduled training session in Nakugard, where an alliance mining op was underway. Luckily, corp friendly fire was set to "legal". Shin brought his Proteus to the mining op and tackled a corp Orca and an Obelisk.
Krig Povelli > o/
Nillith Astari > wow we have some faggots in alliance chat yay
Krig Povelli > Miner, calm down
Nillith Astari > you guys really are skum
Shin invited fellow Agent Krig Povelli to the alliance's public channel. Since his trainees were having difficulty PvP'ing him, Shin allowed Krig to act as a neutral third party to negotiate the release of the ships.
Krig Povelli > 500 mil to save the Obelisk
Krig Povelli > 300 mil for the orca
Krig Povelli > Then you will be free to go
Krig Povelli > well?
Nillith Astari > fuck you mate
All eyes were on Nillith. Though she wasn't flying the Orca or the Obelisk, everyone knew that Shin had been brought into the alliance mainly to train Nillith.
Krig Povelli > Do you guys have comms?
Krig Povelli > We really just want to talk
Nillith Astari > dis engage and we talk
Krig Povelli > Mining permits are just 10 mil. ISK per year
Krig Povelli > Please line up to get your mining permtis
Our Agents are highly skilled EVE players, but what brings their abilities to the next level is their commitment to the timeless principles of the Code.


The Orca went boom. So far, Shin was proving himself to be an excellent instructor. "How did I beat you?"
Nillith Astari > yea nice training sessioin raggot
Krig Povelli > Want to save the freighter?
Death Awaits Eyedol > I would
Krig Povelli > but We need the 500 mil ransom first
Death Awaits Eyedol > we can't pay after that golem you killed last night
Bringing a freighter to a highsec mining op is never a good idea. Especially if it lacks a mining permit.
Krig Povelli > You can
Krig Povelli > if you want to save your freighter
Death Awaits Eyedol > @_@
No one in the alliance was willing to spend any money to save their freighter.


So the Obelisk died, too.
Krig Povelli > gf
Shin Dragoran > gf
Nillith Astari > fuck you too
No one ever said becoming a master of PvP would be easy. Then again, Nillith and her fellow alliance members weren't exactly apt pupils. Krig and Shin paid a visit to the alliance's intel channel.
Krig Povelli > Can we share sensitive intel in here?
Krig Povelli > I heard CODE. is operating in the system
Nillith Astari > yea fuck em too
Nillith Astari > fuck their passes fuck yours
Krig Povelli > Nillith Astari you really need to calm down, miner
Krig Povelli > And get a permit
Nillith Astari > i can wipe my hairy ass with your permit mate
Ultimately, the New Eden Missionaries decided to go in a different direction; Shin Dragoran's services were no longer needed. Shin honestly believed he could've made something out of those carebears, but they needed to give their best effort. Sadly, the carebears weren't willing to fully commit.


But the New Order never gives up hope.

34 comments:

  1. Ah, happy endings.

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  2. What? No directorship and full takeover?

    Sorry, I'm a bit let down here.

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    Replies
    1. Psh, It was a PvP training exercise! Not a takeover.

      Although I have to admit a takeover would of been badass...

      Delete
    2. Would have* been. Sorry, couldn't help myself. I'm but a poor grammar space Nazi.

      Delete
    3. http://memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Disappointed-Meme-Face-08.png

      Delete
  3. Another permit issued! Another happily Code-Compliant citizen under New Order Rule!

    At this rate, it shall only be six more years until every single carebear in James 315 space is converted and the New Order can claim Final Victory!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eve Online won't be around in six years. CHODE. and Jamey's victory will be complete.

      Delete
    2. Eve should have been shut down years ago, all this is just gravy

      Delete
    3. @Anon8:21

      You do realize that, six years ago, in 2010, they were saying that "Eve Online won't be around in six years," right?

      And you know what? Those people were wrong.

      Just like you are now.

      Not only will The New Order be around in six years, Every Citizen of James 315 space will be Code-compliant, and His Space overflow with the rewards of Code-Compliance. No longer will there be nasty miners spouting vile insults in local; only "Gf"s. Sportsmanship and daring combat will reign. Because it has been written. And the person who wrote that was none other than Our Saviour.

      Also, I would like to take this moment to correct your spelling of CODE. and that of the Saviour James 315's name, who goes by the Title of "James."

      I do not believe that you mean to intentionally misspell the Saviour's Name and the abbreviation of His Holy Alliance, and such mistakes are merely oversight on your part, the result of having not accepted The Code as Your Light and Shield.

      I must say, it certainly is nice that The Code ensures that I don't write like an aborigine.

      Delete
    4. Fit your Cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

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    5. Ming are you saying Aboriginal people are inherently bad at writing?

      I suppose you consider them sub-human as well.

      Delete
    6. @Anon2:35

      Name one great work that was written by an aborigine.

      And those are your words, not mine.

      Delete
    7. Take your pick:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Indigenous_Australian_writers
      (Restricted to Australian aborigines)

      Maybe have another look at the definition of the word aborigine, and elaborate on the quality of their writing.

      Delete
    8. And fit your cat for once !

      Delete
    9. @Anon7:37

      For Your Information:

      I asked you to name "one great work" that was written by an aborigine. I did not ask you for "an unclickable list of aborigines."

      Thus, let it be known, that you failed.

      Clearly your time spent sympathizing with miners has addled your ability to comprehend what you read.

      Now. Stop failing nonstop daily and answer the question I asked.

      If you can indeed read.

      Delete
    10. Your inability to operate a computer (just copy the URL to your... argh, fuck it) and your need to have all information spoon-fed makes a discussion with you just too taxing. Why not do some legwork yourself while sitting in your station daily continuously nonstop, with an unfit cat.

      Happy now?

      Took some time to figure out how it worked, posting a clickable URL, but see what I did there? Legwork!

      Delete
    11. Looks like Ming failed again!! now be a good boy and fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
    12. @Anon12:15

      Again, it appears that you have failed to comprehend my request, and you have further demonstrated your inability to read and understand a simple statement.

      Again, remember that I did not ask you for a list of aboriginal writers.

      I am not denying that aboriginal writers that exist or that they write.

      I am asking you to name one great work by an aboriginal writer.

      Since you have demonstrated that you cannot read, I can only assume that you will continue your trend of nonstop failing daily.

      But to be fair, you have also proved my point by your nonstop daily failure: There are no great works written by aborigines.

      Delete
    13. fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
    14. Here you state that aboriginals are unable to write properly:

      "I must say, it certainly is nice that The Code ensures that I don't write like an aborigine."

      In your next comment you seek to reinforce that statement by challenging the first responder to provide you with an example of a 'great work' created by an aboriginal artist.

      First: you failed to supply a definition of a 'great work'.
      Second: A five minute internet search would supply you with a list of award winning books from aboriginal authors.

      Your laziness and nonchalance would impress an entire panda population, not to speak of the neutron-starlike density of your skull bone.

      It is no wonder you are struggling to get your Catalyst properly fit.

      Delete
    15. @Der Wilhelm

      Let me clarify my definition of "Great Works" for you since you seem to be intentionally playing around the outside of my definitions and trying (poorly) to feign ignorance:

      By "Great Work," I mean a literary work that is immediately recognizable outside of the scholarly world of literary criticism; mainstream.

      Some examples of "Great Works:"

      To Kill a Mockingbird.

      Pride and Prejudice

      War and Peace

      Uncle Tom's Cabin

      I posit that this inability to disprove my statement is not a failure of my well-documented and recognized ability to research as you suggest, insomuch as it is the daily non-stop failure of the anti-ganking community to comprehend common language, illustrated by the fact that they provide a mere list of aboriginal writers in response to my query, simultaneously demonstrating the vacuousness of their reading comprehension while proving my original statement true at the same time.

      Delete
    16. Looks like Ming failed again !!
      fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
    17. @Ming:

      Let us have another look at your less than well considered statements:

      "I must say, it certainly is nice that The Code ensures that I don't write like an aborigine."

      and:

      "...while proving my original statement true at the same time."

      Where did that happen? From the context I assume you consider your writing superior to that of an aboriginal. You challenge the opposition to produce a 'great work' written by an aboriginal. How does that prove your writing to be better than that of an aborigine? Did you write a 'great work' yourself?

      In my opinion it would suit you best if you would admit that your statement was shot from the hip, and not intended to insult an entire population.

      Tell me about your progress on fitting that Catalyst.

      Delete
    18. @Der Wilhelm

      How interesting it is, that you are so willing to shift your arguments around in response to being intellectually cornered, unwilling to acknowledge the correctness of my challenge.

      If I recall, you had been attacking me on the grounds of "not supplying a definition of a Great Work." And as soon as I graciously provide you with one, you simply choose to abandon that line of attack, since you will not admit your apparent inability to answer my original statement, which was:

      Name one great work that was written by an aborigine.

      It is clear that you have a penchant for setting up and attacking strawmen.

      But I digress. Let's get down to answering your admittedly modified attack.

      I am a herald of The Code. A Truly Great Work. That greatness inspires my writing, and helps make it superior to less-than-great writing. I am certain that this fact is unassailable, but I will freely admit my prose (and yours) is lesser than that of the Saviour, James 315. (Praise Him)

      Thus my statement that my writing was better than that of aborigines.

      Now the record has shown your challenge to that statement; so you have been asked to provide the name of a great work that was produced by an aborigine.

      And, To recap, you (and Anti-ganking) have, to this point, produced the names of exactly zero great works written by aborigines.

      So, to conclude, not only did you and other anti-gankers fail non-stop this day, (three times in a row for those keeping score) but you also lost the argument, being unable to disprove my statement.

      Proving, once again, that The Code Always Wins. Always.

      Delete
    19. "I am a herald of The Code. A Truly Great Work. That greatness inspires my writing, and helps make it superior to less-than-great writing. I am certain that this fact is unassailable, but I will freely admit my prose (and yours) is lesser than that of the Saviour, James 315. (Praise Him)"

      Only in the EVE universe.

      "I must say, it certainly is nice that The Code ensures that I don't write like an aborigine."

      Only in the real world (are there aboriginals in EVE, if so, I stand corrected)

      Interesting how you mix up arguments from two different universes, not even realizing the incompatibility of the two.

      "...but you also lost the argument, being unable to disprove my statement."

      "If you have to insist that you've won an Internet argument, you've probably lost badly."

      - Danth's law

      Random pun about some unfit Catalyst. I'm a bit under the weather and I just cannot be arsed.

      Delete
  4. If only antiganking took the time to stop failing and help people learn how to play the game

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  5. A whole bunch of permitless ice miners in Gamis atm, even an orca

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  6. Krig Povelli > I heard CODE. is operating in the system

    Nakugard is my backyard.
    I really need to stop running incursions and mow the grass, so to speak....

    - Agent Origo Lim

    ReplyDelete
  7. Awoxing is very elite PvP. I approve!

    ReplyDelete
  8. "Krig Povelli > Bad choice. Let me know if you change your mind..
    Krig Povelli > DEFANDER
    Krig Povelli > Do the sensible thing"

    DEFANDER LOL

    ReplyDelete
  9. It would have been nice if the honorable agents of the so called colde would stick their words and actually train and advise on pvp instead of abusing game mechanics and stupidity of leadership. Only a moron would knowinglingly invite an agent into his corp and leave friendly fire on green.

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    Replies
    1. that sounds like a very insightfull lesson to me. It's obvious they will be more carfull in the future, you know stuff like being aware of other players which is what eve is about.

      Delete
    2. See? They needed anti-AWOX PvP training desperately. Krig and Shin were happy to provide it to them. Everyone wins here, in the long run.

      Delete
  10. I like it how people blame the system and the game mechanics for CODE. blowing them up. There is this thing called a mining permit, you know! They are completely free, after a 10mil is processing fee.

    No permit, no ship.

    ReplyDelete

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