Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Handling Complaints

Governing highsec is an even more complex job than it sounds. Everyone knows that CCP is inundated with petitions, many of them frivolous. Indeed, even as far back as 2013, the New Order's activities were already the biggest single cause of petitions. When it comes to highsec governance, however, a lot of players have complaints and concerns that don't get sent to CCP. They're sent to Agents of the New Order instead. How do our Agents respond?


Today, we look at a classic case of complaint management. The "petitioner" was the ever-quotable ryan Penshar. He wasn't particularly enthusiastic about the Code.


One of the most common problems our Agents face is that they get complaints out of the blue. Agent Alana Charen-Teng had no idea why she was the recipient of an EVEmail from ryan Penshar. Complainers rarely offer a detailed backstory. ryan preferred the in medias res approach. Imagine getting an EVEmail from someone you don't know, and just a few lines in they're already talking about other people killing themselves. Welcome to the ranks of the New Order.


ryan concluded his EVEmail by asking Alana if she'd tried to hack his computer. Talk about burying the lead!


Alana replied by offering ryan the chance to improve his petition. Frankly, ryan needed to start over from scratch. Once ryan had written an EVEmail to the best of his ability, then Alana would read it. She was a busy Agent.


ryan wasn't in the mood to be criticized. He fired back with a series of ominous remarks about websites and IP addresses and servers. Based on his skills and experience, ryan posed a Gibson-level threat to New Order infrastructure. To be clear, though, I do not host anything from a private server in my home. That would be crazy, right?


Once again, ryan raised the subject of a hack attempt against his VPN. He demanded to know if the CODE. was responsible.


Before Alana had the chance to respond to ryan's accusations, he raised the stakes with another EVEmail. This time, he accused the New Order of bribing and/or being CCP employees.


The complaint accused Alana of violating the "Declaration of Independences". I'm no expert on space law, but doesn't the Code supersede that anyway? Regardless, Alana now had a host of different complaints and accusations to address. She decided to answer them one by one:


...With typical New Order efficiency.


ryan was actually pretty impressed by Alana's response. On the surface, ryan was full of confidence: Backed up by a space lawyer and the FBI, threatening to send the CODE. alliance to jail, etc. But when you're dealing with a sophisticated communiqué like this one, you have to read between the lines. Right from the beginning, ryan asked Alana to make a deal. In the final paragraph, ryan stated his terms:


Alana had six days to comply. Unfortunately, the deal was a non-starter. Even if the New Order had 999 billion isk to give ryan Penshar to reimburse him for CSPA charges and his time, it would've been dishonest for Alana to say that the CODE doesn't always win. Thus, Alana had to let ryan down gently, by not responding to his EVEmail. Sometimes that's the best approach.

40 comments:

  1. Another victory for the mighty code alliance and the new order of high sec!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I get to fuck Wolf Soprano in the ass again. Another victory for me!

      Delete
    2. @Anon 5:35

      Miner, calm down.

      Profanity is not allowed by decree of James 315.

      Delete
    3. Profanity not allowed by the decree of James 315?

      Ming, open your mouth, I need to take a piss.

      Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt

      How's that for his decree? Now that I've totally ignored it, what are you going to do? What can you do? Nothing, because you refuse to undock.

      Delete
    4. @Anon2:00
      The Decree of James 315 is for your benefit, miner, not mine, (Although all, including me, benefit from following The Code.)

      In other words, by your disobedience, you are inconveniencing only yourself in the eyes of those who are better than you.

      Sort of like a political activist that covers himself in his own feces to try to convince business executives that he is entitled to a paying job.

      Delete
    5. Fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
    6. decree: an official order that has the force of law.

      Did you just say that James' decree cannot be enforced and is, in fact, a paper tiger?

      Fit your cat

      Delete
    7. Actually, I did. So what are you going to do about it?

      Delete
    8. @ProfaneAnon: I was asking Ming Tso

      Delete
    9. @Der Wilhelm

      While your definition of "decree" is correct, your analysis needs some work.

      You see, on or around June 24th, 2012, the Election for Supreme Protector of Highsec was held. Everyone in Highsec got a vote, and every vote was cast for the Saviour of Highsec, James 315. Then, using the power granted to Him by the people, He then implemented what we now know as The Law of Highsec, the New Halaima Code of Conduct.

      So to answer your question, James's Decrees indeed have the force of law, which is why they are enforced, and why we have Code Enforcement Agents, and so forth.

      Are you denying that such enforcement exists? Because I can show you a ton of proof to the contrary.

      Delete
    10. Fit your cat http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

      Delete
    11. I am not denying that a number of rules have been enforced in the past, evidence enough around here.

      "Profanity is not allowed by decree of James 315"

      This reply makes you sound like a fist shaking old man yelling at the kids in the street not to TP his house. It radiates impotence, futility and bureaucracy.

      "Sort of like a political activist that covers himself in his own feces to try to convince business executives that he is entitled to a paying job"

      Now this is an adequate analogy that would have hit home had it been the first response to ProfaneAnon5:35. Now it is just a bit too little too late.

      @Anon5:21: For everyone's convenience, could you please reformat your post to present the address as a hyperlink as shown in my earlier post. Thanks in advance.

      Delete
  2. Is this guy for real? He wants to hack Google after two years of studying coding, but still can't even express himself in his native language. Is he "torlling" us?

    ReplyDelete
  3. https://49.media.tumblr.com/67c737a59ceca7e3c296284d6f3a3772/tumblr_mt714tLDbV1siy3uao1_500.gif

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sir, your link cannot be clicked. That does not go down well with Mr. Tso.

      Delete
  4. All right, ryan, we surrender. Please take your 999B isk war reparations out of this can.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear me.

    Some folks struggle to put into words their thoughts and feelings, either because they're using a relatively unfamiliar language or because they find it a challenge to express themselves plainly in any language. That's ok; the meaning is usually easy to tease out.

    But this? It appears to be 'stream of consciousness' stuff, filtered through nothing but bile. Made my head ache.

    Well done Alana (and James 315) for trawling through it!

    - SN

    ReplyDelete
  6. Reading the Bible can only improve his grammar.

    ReplyDelete
  7. We have had a sucession of posters here on Minerbumping. Some with mildly offensive names, some with deceptive names and some just named Anonymous (not all you Anonymouses, just some of them). They've told us we are evil, ineffective, crazy, "running off new players", etc etc. You know who you are.

    I defy any of you to read the above posts by that uber-carebear and not say, at least to yourself "The New Order is doing all of Eve a service by driving that nut wailing from the game". In-game of course.

    Now, lets take our little mind experiment a little further. He's only a shade worse than the rest of you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Might be worth halting his ganks just so we don't have to witness his terrible grammar.

    ReplyDelete
  9. JEEZUS!
    This fuk is foxbolt crazy!

    Thank you EvE gods!

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Gibson-level threat"

    I snorted my drink all over the screen on that one....Well Done!

    Perhaps he is an "Idiotmancer"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adherents of CODE. are the idiotmancers. They control idiots all of the time. Usually with Catalyst launched gouts of cleansing anti-matter.

      Delete
  11. Heya James, do you purposely delay this type of story to protect the carebears from too much in game taunting, or is it that you have such a large volume of backlogged tears that it takes nearly a year to publish them?

    I suspect it may be more for protecting the carebears in question from the rest of EvE, especially when they act this downsy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. http://www.minerbumping.com/2015/01/american-miner.html

    same guy.

    Agent Kaely had a run in with him just a few days ago...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Wow! Going by the timestamp on the evemails, it's been 11 months since that exchange. Those evemails came completely unsolicited, and each was crazier (and less comprehensible) than the previous.

    I think George Carlin summed it up best: "When you play EvE, you get a ticket to the freakshow. When you play in Highsec, you get a front row seat."

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hey you code assholes, don't you know that space extortion is bullying? Either you give me a trillion spacebucks, or I'm gonna call the cops and have you thrown in jail!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Governing highsec? What a joke. It's more like bullying highsec.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Governing highsec? What a joke. More like bullying and extorting players.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're not players. They're not even human beings.

      But thanks for filling my miner bingo card.

      Delete
    2. @Anon7:11

      Correct. Miners are not human beings. As is evidenced by their foul and crude language and baseless accusations.

      Delete
    3. Last time that I checked, miners *ARE* human beings. As human beings, they play this game in their own way, which means that they are players. If you undocked sometime mingoboy, you could find that out. But no, you are holed up in a station babysitting the code tentacle monster in the nude.

      So tell me mingoboy, how does a tentacle feel in the ass? Does it feel good when it squirts its goo?

      Delete
    4. Ming? undock? fat chance. He'd rather leech off other peoples achievements and wave them around as if they're his own xD

      Delete
  17. Dear Saviour,

    There has been a deluge (well, 4 people) who have awoxed a private group of 20,000 people in Elite Dangerous. The E : D community is quite literally hopping mad about it. The rage is fulsome and the salt bountiful. Hilariously carebears are now threatening to boycott E : D over this issue: https://forums.frontier.co.uk/showthread.php?t=233916

    May we use a variant of the New Halaima Code of Conduct in E : D?

    Eagerly awaiting your response.

    Many thanks, and keep up the sterling work.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Anon7:26

      The Saviour of Highsec has written an article on your exploits, which may be read here:

      http://www.minerbumping.com/2015/11/the-elite-dangerous-code-conspiracy.html

      To wit, I believe that while the Saviour has recalled that many players in Elite Dangerous's version of CODE. have been accused of being New Order Agents, I do not believe the Saviour has necessarily objected to your use of His Banner to carry out His Ideals in the world of Elite Dangerous, and from His Tone, it could be said that He applauds your efforts.

      From my own personal point of view as a mere Herald of James 315; I humbly congratulate you on your successes of fighting the carebear menace and charge you to continue spreading the word about the dangers of an anti-PvP environment to all.

      Yours in The Code,
      Ming

      Delete
    2. I boycotted E:D because it was so godawful boring.

      Delete
    3. I boycotted E:D because it was so godawful boring.

      Delete
  18. @ProfaneAnon: I was asking Ming Tso

    ReplyDelete

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