Wednesday, July 20, 2016

A Fateful Encounter in Poinen

The battle for hearts and minds rages in highsec. And nowhere is the battle hotter than in the local channels of random highsec systems. Once virtually silent outside of the trade hubs, highsec local channels are now a place where players' fates and destinies can be decided forever--all in a matter of minutes.

Agents of the New Order feature prominently in local chat. This is only fitting, since it is the Agents who breathed life into highsec local channels for the first time in EVE history. But carebears also lurk there.

After winning an argument against carebear Tawny Fraeyr, Agent Lament von Gankenheim continued to go about his business in the Poinen system. Then a random player wandered into the system and typed a greeting in local. What sort of player was this? Lament was ready for anything.

Senior Coconut was a clueless newbie. His character had been rolled less than an hour earlier. All he knew how to do was go to a system and type in local. He was completely at the mercy of whatever players might happen to see his message.

Thank goodness an Agent of the New Order was there.

Senior Coconut was somewhat taken aback by Lament, who challenged every preconceived notion the newbie had about EVE.

Senior Coconut had been well on his way to a disastrous and unsatisfying EVE experience. He seemed destined for an early account cancellation. Then Lament von Gankenheim walked into his life.

Nothing could be taken for granted; this newbie was a blank slate. Lament took it upon himself to write a new destiny for Senior Coconut.

Slowly but surely, our Agent guided the new player away from the abyss.

A close call: The anti-Code carebear from earlier popped her head into local. Imagine if it had been she, and not our Agent, who had made first contact with Senior Coconut?

Tawny wanted to poison the newbie's mind. Agents Lament and Ralliana fought back. They would not allow Senior Coconut to be carried away like a lamb led to the slaughter.

If Tawny had gotten to Senior Coconut first, he might've become a highsec miner. Now he had a fighting chance.

The newbie could only watch the argument unfold. He still needed help. Who would be the one to offer it to him? The Agent or the carebear? Hint: It wouldn't be the carebear. Tawny was too busy nursing her grudge against CODE. to give any thought to aiding Senior Coconut.

Lament wrapped up things up by winning the argument against Tawny and her philosophy of bot-aspirancy. Now he was free to throw a lifeline to the newbie.

Our Agent helped Senior Coconut dodge another bullet by warning him away from random "newbie friendly" highsec corps. Lament showed him that there was another way.

And so it was that a new player joined faction warfare instead of resigning himself to a life of bot-aspirant drudgery. Senior Coconut's entire future changed in an instant, his dismal fate replaced by brilliant possibilities. This, too, is the power of the Code.


  1. Well done, Agent LvG \o/


  2. And now Senior Coconut will just fall prey to another kind of bot-aspirant behavior; mindlessly capturing faction warfare plexes in a stabbed Navy Comet, Venture, etc.

    Thanks, CHODE. slaves.

  3. Someone needs to write a jingle for gankers. Preferably to the song rock around the clock.

  4. Another name to add to my gankers list. Good job code.

    1. Make sure to publish your list on the hisec militia blog that nobody reads.

    2. make sure you add me to that list

    3. I do not wish to be added to the list because AG are truly terrifying. If you send me ten million isk I will magnanimously purchase you a permit, then am willing to sell you the entire CODE alliance for 40 bill. What say you anonymous hero?

    4. 648, what good is a list that you are afraid to use?

    5. Snigie, Code has to try and recoup their loss of 40 some billion ISK to theft by Zopiclone somehow.

    6. He was a loyal and prolific agent for over a year and paid much of that ISK back in share-purchases. I'd say we got our money's worth.

      Disregarding that, have you glanced up at the war chest lately? Lol


    7. I would attempt to dissect what you said there to make sense of it oink, but you are clearly challenged when it comes to math. It's ok. Actually, what the hell, lets try:

      1. Looks like an agent less than 1 year.
      2. "Much of that ISK back paid back." 1.4 bill to 40+ bil lost.
      3. War chest lately. Looks to be heading in one direction since Zopiclone left. From 178 to 150 to 124.
      But I do wonder how much more ISK Zopiclone sucked out of that fund as well through your ship replacement program. Hehe.

      Fact checking mission on a code agent oink turned up bullshit on all points. No real surprise there. Carry on with your nonsense.


    8. Anon305. Don't even bother bro. To become an agent of the code you must be damaged goods. You must have a warped sense of reality. You must enjoy trolling. You must interpret everything said to you as victory (because social interaction of any kind to a loser, is winning). Lastly to be an agent you must interpret everything replied to anything an agent says as salt. There you have it. The inerworkings of an agents feeble mind and what it takes to be one. I would say gf but clearly it never is (except for the minds of feeble code agents).

    9. Que nitetime videos broken record about freedom of speech on these forums anytime now. What a nerd agent.

    10. Okay, not over a year but just under one year, I stand corrected, ya nailed me.

      The war chest is always trending down, except when it's not. We've been going broke for 4 years now brother. Each time the line trends downward you "CODE. Is going broke!!!1" anons reappear, then disappear again for awhile when it shoots up again to a new milestone.

      He stole those ships from loyalanon's personal freighter smashing profits, not the SRP warchest.

      No one has ever stolen anything from me in EVE because I don't give them the chance. No one has ever stolen any assets from the CODE. Alliance because (bombshell incoming) WE DON'T HAVE ANY ALLIANCE ASSETS. That's what makes the whole thing pretty funny.

      As for sucking ISK out of the SRP program, you can do that too! All you have to do is go kill a bunch of carebears first. I'm sure the Savior of Highsec will happily send you rebels billions of ISK in exchange for large stacks of API-verified kill mails like Zopiclone's.

      That's the whole idea of the program man! We want to see kill mails, Zopiclone provided.. It takes a strange understanding of the situation to conclude we somehow got the short end of the stick here.

      From where I stand, 38.6 bil is a small price to pay for a year's worth of diligent service to the Code, and all the fun and enjoyable blog content he provided.

      I mean, he helped progress our movement, you can't really put a price on that, if you could it would definitely be more than 38.6 bil.

      In conclusion, I propose we start contracting rebel carebears for 40 billion ISK, payable after 1 year's loyal service to the Code.

      Seeing as how the carebears are ISK driven and apparently think 40 bil is a good wage for ~12 months of work, and given the fact that we're already in the business of turning ISK into kill mails, seems like a win/win, no?

      -Galaxy Pig

    11. I think that's the longest defense of the CODE you've ever written Oink. I do appreciate the effort of the spin. I love how you put the full blame of the failure of CODE vs Zopiclone on loyalanon. Seems like he wasn't following your code? Well played to blame her.

    12. If you get stuff stolen from you, who else is there to blame?

      You're welcome for the real talk.


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  6. Is this another failure from antiganking?

    Sorry silly question they are ALWAYS failing!

    1. Only failure is you failed to take your Ritalin. Again. Ritalin is easy!

  7. Huhzah! Another player retained. Got to get em young.

  8. That Tawny char is represenative of the antiganking group as a whole. Spend some time in their chat chans and you will see an unending stream of tears,self pity, bad advice, and just plain wrong information.
    How can they be so clueless about EvE?
    Carebears, remember that when you are indignant AND wrong you just look the fool.

  9. But where oh where is Ming?

  10. You were the shadow to my light
    Did you feel us
    Another start
    You fade away
    Afraid our aim is out of sight
    Wanna see us

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