Sunday, July 24, 2016

Kills of the Week

Every time you undock from a station, you need to have a plan. Everyone knows this. But it's not enough to have a plan--you need to have the right plan. The world is filled with bad plans: "I'm going to set fire to an orphanage," or "I'm going to engage in ethnic cleansing," or "I'm going to mine in highsec without a permit." There's only one good plan for when you're out there in highsec, and it's the same plan for everybody: The Code.

Now let's find out what happened to some people who deviated from that plan during the week of July 17th @ 00:00 EVEtime through July 23rd @ 23:59 EVEtime.



Our Agents are hunting down ORE Strip Miners like they're the last samples of smallpox. arcticwarrior had a Hulk--can you believe it?--with three ORE Strip Miners. Naturally, the miner kept the mids empty instead of fitting even the slightest bit of tank. Agents Hulk Poddington, Mack Poddington, Lawrence Lawton, and James Poddington scratched three more ORE Strip Miners off the list.



When CCP created the Bowhead, carebears across highsec celebrated. They thought it would save them from suffering expensive freighter killmails. But PowrTripp proved once again that you can't patch stupid. He managed to lose 7.2 billion isk with his anti-tanked Bowhead. Agents Jackson Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, and Justin Kusion surprised him with a fleet of stealth bombers and let their torpedoes fly.



Carebears often ask, "How should I fit my ship? How can I guarantee that I'm in compliance with the Code?" If common sense isn't enough, here's a helpful tip, one which Henry DePour could've used: If you see purple, you've done something wrong. Agents Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Jason Kusion destroyed a 4.8 billion isk Nightmare with an officer module in the lows. Next time, instead of spending 2.1 billion isk on Raysere's Modified Power Diagnostic System, try spending 10 million isk on James 315's Code.



Last week, Kalya Aakiwa traveled to Hek in a stabbed Buzzard. At a certain point, she became complacent and decided to go AFK. Her cloaking device became of little use. Agent Winnie Po0h had no difficultly inflicting a 1.1 billion isk loss on Kalya. Her flimsy covops was carrying 5 Skill Extractors. I guess she had no skill left after that.



1 Goblin's disastrous 17.5 billion isk freighter loss proved an important point: There's no such thing as partial compliance with the Code. You either obey it, or you don't. Goblin couldn't decide whether to go with tank, anti-tank, or speed, so he went with all three. He got nothing but regret. Agents Darnoth, Yojiro, Jack Fizzleblade, BAE B PEW, BAE B BLUE, Ayatola Whoami, Perlo Tissant, Shazna Solta, Lego Edd, Nullus Modus, Miros Homar, Jet Set Milly, Austrene Jakuard, Hermann Fizzleblade, Archibald Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Grant Bant, Samsa, Pure Whyte, Collateralized Contracts, Gea Stormbound, Blasty McVoidFace, Urban Worrier, and Meros Fera landed on the freighter and tore it to pieces.



kernel64 provided the occasion for the Podkill of the Week. Alt Proxy was the lucky Agent this time. Incredibly, kernel64 was mining with a Retriever in Hek at the time. He's a 2008 character, so you would think he'd know better.


kernel64 was using expensive gunnery implants, but had a ship with no guns--only mining lasers. And he had a Slave set for tank, but his ship was untanked. Ah, carebears and their contradictions.

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