Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The Nicest People in EVE

Agents of the New Order are known for having a high degree of curiosity about the world around them. In contrast to the bot-aspirants who cling to rigid routines and avoid interactions with other players, our Agents love to explore EVE and meet new people. They don't ignore the teeming masses of carebears like other players do. Our Agents see a miner and wonder, "I wonder what their story is?"


A miner with a peculiar fit silently chewed on rocks in the Arnon system. An Agent spotted the miner and became curious about her. He arranged a meeting by destroying her barge. This is one of the few ways to get a miner to open up and come out of their shell.


The Agent in question was Galaxy Pig. Despite years of nerfs to highsec content creators, the Retriever was no match for him.


The miner was Aberdeen Kale. She'd been in EVE for a few months, but apparently not long enough to put three modules in her ship's lowslots. Or buy a permit, for that matter. Galaxy Pig sent Aberdeen a standard post-gank EVEmail and spiced up her profile by putting a bounty of 315,315 isk on her.


When the miner woke up, she replied to the EVEmail. Aberdeen dismissed the idea of CodeSov.


Although Aberdeen claimed to be new to the game, she acted like she already knew all there was to know about Galaxy Pig. And it was as if she had no interest in connecting with her ganker on a human level.


Galaxy Pig encouraged the miner: As someone who lived in highsec, she was playing in the big leagues.


Aberdeen confessed to bot-aspirancy. In modern highsec, the influence New Order is so pervasive that you pretty much have to stick your head in the sand--and keep it there--to avoid hearing about us. Which is precisely what a bot-aspirant would do.


Aberdeen was baffled by someone who would want to blow up spaceships in EVE. The highsec miner also felt that piracy wasn't ambitious enough.


Ignorance of the Code is proof of bot-aspirancy. Thus, not only is ignorance of the law not an excuse, it's actually a violation of it. Our Agents punish the crime and, by making lawbreakers aware of the Code, prevent them from being able to commit the crime of ignorance again. It's a flawless rehabilitation system. Our Agents don't get nearly enough credit for it.


Galaxy Pig's hard work was already paying off. Aberdeen's career in EVE thus far had been solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. Now, for the first time, she expressed the twinkling of an interest in PvP.


Galaxy Pig ignored the sinister undertones in Aberdeen's question and educated the miner about the bounty mechanics.


In the afterglow of a gank, miners are uniquely receptive to adjusting their expectations about EVE. Galaxy Pig helped.


Now it seemed that Aberdeen Kale's EVE career had reached an exciting conclusion. She'd seen more action in the last few hours than she had in the previous 4 months. Appropriately, the miner wanted to reward Galaxy Pig by sending him what remained in her wallet.


Galaxy Pig taught Aberdeen about EVE's mechanics one last time; now she knew how to transfer isk. The isk wasn't enough to purchase a mining permit--or even a single share of New Order stock--but it was enough to allow the miner to end her game on a high note. Our Agents continue to impress.

14 comments:

  1. Never understood the give up attitude of the miners. With a little thought and effort that miner could make the isk to buy back the retriever plus many more so that they wouldn't have to mine again. There is a serpentis event going on right now that has sites everywhere. Oh well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people are just not ready for EvE. Never will be. Agent Oink saved this carebear from god only knows how many hours of mind numbing pve, after which the carebear probably would have quit anyway.
      Good job Agent!

      Delete
  2. Best she learn now the game isn't for her before someone ganks her lvl 4 mission running boat or other pricier ship.

    Another agent of the Order improving EVE daily, while always winning!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess I'd rather see them learn a lesson and improve and stay in the game to grow our game but if they chose to quit than so be it. Eve may not be for them.

      Delete
    2. Ok last thing and I'll stop. But quick example: was running the serpentis event sites. Found one that another guy was running. Just MWD'd into the loot container and grabbed it before he did and voila, 200m implant drop. That could have been any newb player in a frigate with an MWD and if they really wanted to mine that 200m would fun many retrievers/gank attempts.

      Delete
  3. Looks like antiganking is failing incredibly hard.... nonstop daily!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes they did loyal yes they did. But not as bad as goons are at taking back their space.

      Delete
    2. Ritalin is easy loyalanon. You can benefit from it buddy. Take a nice monitored dose daily.

      Delete
    3. Lol funny how often carebears bring up nullsec politics these days, like we give a crap.

      It implies that they subscribe to the gons=cod tinfoil philosophy.


      -Oink

      Delete
  4. Agent Galaxy Pig! Explain yourself... why is there only a 397 million ISK bounty on you?

    Step it up, boy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I loled. Noob! XD

      Delete
    2. Because I leave carebears destitute! :D

      -Oink

      Delete
  5. F12, advancing in new eden´s careers, business and industry 2nd missions give out free ventures and equipment in the process. if you dare you could touch military and advanced military missions too, if you go Gallente you even get a catalyst ;)
    so 25 venture loads (what a prosepect, the whole afternoon is saved, you can mine!) and that retriever is replaced and fitted. and as a bonus, if you cross the two built-in warp core stabs of the venture it works like garlic on vampires.
    but it seems miners just can´t grasp the commitment anymore these days, sad.

    ReplyDelete
  6. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete

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