Monday, July 11, 2016

Search and Rescue

The New Order's mission is to save highsec. Everyone's heard it, though the rebels and skeptics don't believe it. Carebears attempt to poison the minds of newbies at the earliest available opportunity. But what happens when the New Order gets to them first?


Newbie miner Klaus Fraumann was paid a visit by The New Order Gamis Affiliates and lost his Retriever. It was somewhat tanked, but clearly the miner wasn't enjoying EVE. As the gankers moved on to their next target, Klaus was contacted by two other Agents, Lament von Gankenheim and horaculus Riven.


Lament encouraged the miner to share some thoughts about his experience with EVE thus far. Klaus was only too happy to chat. Crowded as highsec is, it was apparently the first time anyone had bothered to speak with him.


The miner was in bad shape. From what little he'd heard about the game, it was necessary to mine in highsec for an indefinite period before he could get to the fun stuff.


Our Agents offered a different view of EVE--the idea that new players can get into PvP right away. Lament cursed CCP's failure to make newbies aware of this.


Linking some well-known EVE memes, Lament confirmed his suspicions.


Next, our Agents introduced Klaus to the concept of newbie-friendly organizations that don't require you to mine all day and sell ore at below-Jita prices.


Klaus was impressed. Why hadn't CCP put any of this into the tutorial?


The Anti-Gankers, carebear apologists, and theme parkers wave the banner of the newbie, invoking their interests at every opportunity to justify nerfs to PvP. Yet it was plainly obvious that none of them had bothered to actually help new players do anything.


The Agents of the New Order are virtually the only players in highsec who take an interest in helping the newbies rather than exploiting them.


Lament's genuine empathy for newbies bubbled over into righteous indignation. His passion for NPE (new player experience) reform couldn't be denied.


The miner--who hadn't yet been poisoned by anti-Code rhetoric from the carebears--was able to remain calm and attentive. Interesting. Quite a contrast to the miners whose minds have already been horribly damaged by the toxic carebear culture.


The convo concluded amicably. horaculus Riven, a new Agent who was also rolling a CODE. ganker alt at the time, was impressed. A quick debrief session followed:


In a competitive PvP sandbox like EVE, the only way to change the game is to change the players. In saving highsec, the New Order is doing just that. To the newbies who have been warned about griefers comes a surprising realization: The people who gank them are their only true friends.

17 comments:

  1. "In a competitive PvP sandbox like EVE, the only way to change the game is to change the players."

    How is it CCP can't seem to grasp this simple truth. Why are new players told to mine in a PvP game?

    Fuk the CCP!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And antiganking couldn't even save his ship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Antiganking doesn't care about you kiddo. Just posting it for your benefit so you can stop masturbating all over these forums already. Either play EvE or GFTO.

      Delete
    2. Looks like another simpleton fell for the troll again.
      Wolf always wins! Always!

      Delete
    3. Manners maketh man. Trolls never win. Enjoying the trailer park high life? I bet you are big ninny mate.

      Delete
    4. Ritalin is easy loyalanon. You seem like a prime candidate for daily monitored usage.

      Delete
  3. Amanda RekenwhithJuly 11, 2016 at 10:48 PM

    This is the best and most informative MB post ever. We really are providing a service here.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh goodie a rich established player dictating/influencing how the newbie player he just set back 30-40 million in the game should play the game. Heart warming really. Lamentvongankenstein seems like a control freak with probable impulse control issues. Probably plays Eve to regain a sense of self control because otherwise it seems lacking just looking at this short clip of text dictating how others should view the world. Classic psychology here. "obsessed with dominating or commanding others to the point where they stifle the ability of the others to flourish or grow on their own." I might be way off but that's the vibe you're giving off there lamenter. Dont beat up anyone in real life over your control issues. It's just a video game.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for your tears, fag.

      Delete
    2. rofllllll... The guy talking about psychology is demonstrating a classic principle of psychology... Projection.

      stahp!

      Delete
  5. Ritalin is easy LvG. You too can benefit from a monitored dosage program.

    ReplyDelete
  6. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
  7. (Voice of David Attenborough)
    And so, the search for intelligent (carebear) life in Highsec continues...

    ReplyDelete
  8. why didn't someone TELL ME (or at least my wallet) that im rich and established?????
    I should hire a butler or something to go behind and pick up my loot for me now!

    thank goodness for these anonymous nobodys with their chatlog screenshots of helping new players...in any way at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. or did you mean Revis, as the player clearly stated that Revis was the one showing him The Code, in triplicate?

      Delete
    2. LvG always wins!
      Always!

      Delete

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