Monday, November 7, 2016

All for Damien

Meet Damien Oxytocin.

As you can immediately see from his bio, Damien is one of the good guys. Damien wanted to do something special for highsec, so he decided to enforce the Code. An opportunity soon presented itself.

Even though Damien was new to the mighty CODE. alliance, he knew a Code violator when he saw one. Aa'Ni's grotesque hauling ship was certainly a Code violation.

Damien tried to give Aa'Ni additional help by explaining why she'd been ganked. But she wasn't interested. She probably would've preferred to spend all day designing more terrible Mammoths. The more she thought about the gank, the more angry she became. Before long, all she could think about was revenge.
Aa'Ni > cmon out boy
Aa'Ni > chicken shit
Aa'Ni > ur dead
Aa'Ni > fuckin faggot
Aa'Ni > im at the hek gate pussy
Two days later, Aa'Ni spotted Agent Damien in the Uttindar system. Her blood still boiled from the memory of losing her precious hauler.
Aa'Ni > oh damien....
Aa'Ni > so dissappointed
Aa'Ni > i am going to hunt ur ass relentlessly. u will not be ablle to runction here the minute i got u on d scan ur dead
Aa'Ni > cmon be a man n face me
Aa'Ni > no real game
Aa'Ni > DAMIEN!!!!
All Uttindar bore witness as she called to her ganker again and again. It was quite a spectacle.
Aa'Ni > fuckin pussy
Aa'Ni > i am at hek gate lets go
Aa'Ni > yoo hoo...
Aa'Ni > get ur lame ass here!
Aa'Ni > damien oxyty what?
Aa'Ni > oxtychickenshit
While all this was going on, Agent Damien was AFK; he was safely docked up. When the time was right, he would return to his keyboard and resume ganking. Not yet, though.
Aa'Ni > Alright gotcha
Aa'Ni > y=u will never leave here
Aa'Ni > cmpn out boy
Aa'Ni > old painless is waitin
Aa'Ni > cmon fucker
Aa'Ni > aint so brave now are you
Aa'Ni fumed. She demanded action, or at least Damien's attention. However, as we all know, Agents of the New Order enforce the Code when they feel like it, not when carebears demand it of them.
Aa'Ni > i will hunt you relentlessly
Aa'Ni > as soon as u un dock you are mine
Aa'Ni > go ahead refit it wont help you
Aa'Ni > all my guns are waitin
Aa'Ni > wat a pussy
Aa'Ni > Damien...
Aa'Ni > everyone knows now ur a pussy
As time went by, Aa'Ni could do little more than continue to fill Uttindar local with her tears.
Aa'Ni > wow whats it gonna take to get u to face me one on one?
Aa'Ni > cmon
Aa'Ni > undock boy
Aa'Ni > u destroy my hauler threaten me with tax take a hundred mill outts my mastadon and aint got no guts in a real fight
Aa'Ni > faggot
Aa'Ni > my guns are still waitin dueschte bag
Aa'Ni > u will never leave here
It was a Mammoth, not a Mastadon, but Damien wasn't there to correct her.
Aa'Ni > btw im in a orthrus see if you can fit to defend against tht
Aa'Ni > cmon out
Aa'Ni > lets plkay
Aa'Ni > oh damien
Aa'Ni > im fucking waiting!
Aa'Ni > 2000000ISK
The vengeful carebear went to Damien's station and sat outside in her Orthrus. From her perch, she repeatedly called to Damien. She wouldn't stop unless Damien faced her in battle or paid her 2 billion isk.
Aa'Ni > im still here boy
Aa'Ni > aint goin away
Aa'Ni > undock loser
Aa'Ni > u pissed me off.. no help 4 u
Aa'Ni > i got kill rights... so coool
Aa'Ni > wat a fuckin loser
Aa'Ni > okay so i got 43 kilo warp disruption.. 97k missle distance w 3 sec flight time nano armor repairer cmon
Aa'Ni > aint u tht good
Aa'Ni > i want u
Aa'Ni > thts basic
Aa'Ni > u r chicken aint u
Aa'Ni reviewed her Orthrus' stats. Maybe that would encourage our Agent to duel her.
Aa'Ni > im sittin here till u undock
Aa'Ni > wanna make it fair after all
Aa'Ni > every one in thius system knows i want you. everyone in this system has passed by me and knows im no threat except u have no passage
Aa'Ni > cmon out
Aa'Ni > its the best deal ur gonna get death over nover
Aa'Ni > damien...
Aa'Ni > my guns are flashin! cant wait till u undock'
Aa'Ni > u will never leave here
Aa'Ni's thirst for revenge couldn't be quenched by Damien's silence. Nearly two hours had passed, and she'd been screaming in local the entire time.
Aa'Ni > cmon u want to
Aa'Ni > u kno u do
Aa'Ni > nvr kno u mite win... hahaha...doubt it!
Aa'Ni > still waitin boy
Aa'Ni > still sittin here in my orthrus totally unchecked
Aa'Ni > unccloacked 15 kilo off the station
Aa'Ni > i fucking own u and ur eve activity now
Aa'Ni > pathetic
The rebel was disgusted by Damien's apparent refusal to acknowledge her. She'd invested a considerable amount of time and emotional energy. She'd done it all for Damien, and he'd simply ignored her. Aa'Ni been animated by her hatred, which had kept her fueled for two hours. But it couldn't last forever. In time, she reverted to her natural state. Aa'Ni went AFK.

Damien was finally ready to gank. And he had a nice target now, too! He was joined by Agents Lament von Gankenheim, Orianna Okanata, and Pony Princess, who pounced on the AFK Orthrus. Aa'Ni's 600 million isk pod was also destroyed.
Lament von Gankenheim > gf
Damien Oxytocin > gf
Damien Oxytocin > Too bad you ended up going afk
Aa'Ni got her fight with Damien Oxytocin. It didn't go quite as she expected. She shouldn't have been surprised, though. The CODE always wins. Always!


  1. Nice one! Truly welcome aboard!
    And I see from your goggles that you have ambitions!
    Praise James! o7

  2. Oh man, that was awesome!1 Well done guys.

    Curious to know if that second enforcement prompted a wall of tears & threats like the first one.

    1. It's safe to say there'd be a "To be continued..." at the bottom if there were.

      Occasionally a carebear does, in fact, learn to shut their mouth.

    2. Yep, true that.

  3. Ohhhhhhh man this was a knee-slapper!



  4. Half way through this i was praying that shit talking crybear would lose that Orthrus.
    I was not disappoint!

    The CODE always wins!
    Fuk carebears


  5. Watching you on twitch tv makes me believe that all of CODE agents are Drones like you! Worst drone ever.

    1. Thanks for the tears, PHag.

    2. Tear harvester. Bigger phag.

  6. She fits ships just like she talks trash. FAIL!

  7. Lol! It's all for you Damien! Love the title and showing my age!

  8. ahahahaha 5 Days in and you get such an Epic kill.

    That carebear must be so pissed off it's not even meassurable on any scale right now.

    Well done.

    10/10 !!!!

    1. I would have paid Actual Real Money to see this. As it is...I wonder if anybody told her she didn't need a kill right to shoot poor Damien....she can shoot at him for free, dontcha know...;)

    2. I'm still laughing about this.

      That carebear killboard made my day.


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