Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Something Something Social Media

The idea of bringing civilization to highsec is a controversial one. The rebels and skeptics don't have any legitimate arguments against it, of course, so they refer to proper EVE gameplay as "bullying", "harassment", etc. On some level, even our enemies know that's nonsense. Yet it gets thrown around often enough that bystanders pick up on it.


Not knowing any better, concerned citizens create Reddit threads like this one. But how does the mighty CODE. alliance's alleged wrongdoing play out in practice? Let us examine the case of vic20kid.


It seems vic20kid had a theory that if you make a hauler have as few hitpoints as possible, maybe the ship will become so skinny it's invisible to gankers. Not so. The keen eye of Agent Spine Ripper detected vic20kid's Mammoth and put an end to the experiment.


Agent Bing Bangboom issued a standard message to vic20kid. It was an invitation for the carebear to begin his EVE journey for real. vic20kid ignored it. Several weeks later, Agent Ralliana caught the carebear and killed another of his ships.


vic20kid couldn't admit defeat. Many days later, he was still arguing with our Agents. He was absolutely convinced that shooting ships in highsec is against the rules.


Agent Liek DarZ tried to save the carebear some time and energy by informing him that ganks are allowed. vic20kid might've taken that advice. He almost did, I think. But then he got an idea, one that no one else had ever thought of before. In an instant, vic20kid became a space lawyer, one with the power to blow this whole CODE. thing wide open. He gave Agent Liek the good news:


vic20kid's idea: Use the phrase "social media" over and over until CCP gives up. vic20kid hurried to the official EVE forums to try it out.


vic20kid's forum thread went live. The carebear sat back and waited for good things to happen.


Sadly, the thread went nowhere. ISD did their duty, which is to lock any thread that happens to be open and active at the time.

vic20kid didn't care. Less than 30 minutes later, he returned to the same EVE-O subforum and opened another thread with the same title--except that the title added a note that the previous version had been locked. Surely this would work.


The "PS" was the secret ingredient.


Somehow, vic20kid's strategy failed. Defeated, he returned to carebearing in highsec. Maybe CODE. wouldn't gank him again.


Alas, without a New Order permit, vic20kid was an easy target. Nevertheless, he'd learned a lot since the last time he'd been ganked. He wasn't going to EVEmail his complaints to a bunch of gankers. This time, he'd send a message directly to the Saviour of Highsec--and for some reason, Goon diplomat Sion Kumitomo.


The Anti-Gankers insist that the key to happiness is to disobey the Code and refuse to buy a permit. Judging by the results, I tend to doubt it.

21 comments:

  1. Praise Zopiclone! Too bad he is never going to see his grandkids.

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  2. "ISD did their duty, which is to lock any thread that happens to be open and active at the time."

    That caught me unawares. Fortunately I don't drink and read The Saviour's Blog.

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  3. Excellent work as always, by our Agents. Self-entitled carebears must be repeatedly punished until they learn to behave.

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  4. vic20kid believes that CCP must be corrupt because he lost an antitanked hauler and overblinged frigate and wasn't able to coerce the devs into refunding the loss.

    CCP's style of customer service is refreshing. Instead of coddling the would-be space-lawyer, they shut him down completely and he was reduced to sending angry evemails. This demonstrates CCP's admirable dedication to their vision of EVE.

    It's hilarious that vic20kid was paranoid enough to specify that James and Sion should be fucked only *in game*.

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    Replies
    1. Apparently he had heard of EULA killmails...:)

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  5. "Sadly, the thread went nowhere. ISD did their duty, which is to lock any thread that happens to be open and active at the time."

    I loves me some James humor.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, that was good stuff lol


      -Oink

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    2. So much lol in this post, but the "ISD did their duty" has to be immortalized as another James classic.

      Unfortunately, unlike Super Perforator, I do drink while reading the blog. Waterproof keyboard cover ftw \o/

      -Sun-Tzu

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    3. Man that caught me off guard as well, beautiful work.

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  6. Grade A tears and bad space lawyering in one post? Just the lols I need on a shit show election day!

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  7. "Sadly, the thread went nowhere. ISD did their duty, which is to lock any thread that happens to be open and active at the time."
    to think this kid opened ANOTHER thread with the title "original post locked by ccp" its amazing he makes it past the login screen.

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    Replies
    1. Its amazing he made it past preschool......

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  8. If this jackass starts quoting Texas law....

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  9. Man EVE needs less folks like vic20, if he actually thinks game play is harassment.

    You know he's recently been ganked on an alt in hisec, then trolled, and now hw thinks he was harassed.

    It's his own fault for being such a vag

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    Replies
    1. Millennial scum is millennial. I can't wait until they get rolled, shot, stabbed, and raped IRL. Then maybe they'll STFU about getting 'bullied' online.

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    2. I don't Think they get out of their "safe space" much.

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  10. Let us not forget the people on that reddit thread who actually urged the original poster to talk to CODE. members to get a better perspective and perhaps even join them. Shout outs to Reddit users Le_Renard_Subtil, Caitlyn4321 and NazAlGhul!

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  11. That SJW is unlikely to get it ..

    His agenda is to highlight something other than his ineptitude at playing eve ....witch hunt revenge tldr

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  12. This shit is Comedy gold right here.

    Love it. :)

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