Sunday, November 13, 2016

Kills of the Week

The New Order's Agents are natural optimists. When they witness a carebear committing a horrific breach of highsec protocol, our Agents see it as an opportunity for growth and personal development, and possibly a nice loot drop. I hope you'll join me as we take a look at some of these moments from the week of November 6th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 12th @ 23:59 EVEtime.



Alex Soonwalker made a big move this week. He put 23 billion isk on the line, betting that the New Order wasn't as powerful and omnipresent as everyone says it is. Alex lost that bet. Agents big brutor one, Unfit ForDoody, Yojiro, Bob Painter, Gea Stormbound, Emergent Gameplay, Liz Cadelanne, Inspector Implant, Pure Whyte, Lawrence Lawton, big brutor two, Stevinz, Sinister Minister, Skiff Poddington, Lanaya Takayama, Mack Poddington, James Poddington, Michiko Ishikawa, Joe Kouvo, and Amelia Fitzgerald got together and showed us all what teamwork looks like.


Just imagine how much illegal mining it takes to acquire 2.5 billion isk worth of compressed concentrated Veldspar. Now it's in the hands of our Agents. I don't think that's what the miners intended, though.



Caeliferus Pneumoridae Orthoptera knew it was unsafe to move his precious cargo in a freighter, so he tried to slip by in an inconspicuous shuttle. Only one problem: To Agents like Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, autopiloting shuttles are conspicuous. Very much so.


The shuttle contained a vast collection of capital and supercapital BPCs. In highsec, we use those things to line the bottom of bird cages.



Sad to say, FZ Falzar's Bestower wasn't the worst I've ever seen. It was completely unfit, but at least it wasn't anti-tanked. I suppose that's the best we can hope for out of some of these bot-aspirants. Agents Le caneleoni sauvage and keylla had no trouble destroying it; they're accustomed to performing feats of elite PvP.


...And they each get a free month of EVE!



Rae Ohu equipped six warp core stabilizers so her hauler could never be caught, even if she found herself attacked by multiple gankers. It was the perfect plan, she thought. But it turns out that a ship on autopilot doesn't warp away when attacked. Agents Xunasy, Australian Excellence, Imastupid fc, Tax Collector Emile, and Lul GitGud Kid tore open the hauler and were shocked by what they discovered:


The Occator's fleet hangar contained two more Occators--and a dozen more warp core stabilizers. The fail-fit was breeding!



Agent Big Gradner Painhaus has made quite a name for himself with his Enyo. Rebels claim the New Order "can't shoot targets that shoot back", but Big Gradner has proven that when carebears do use weapons, they only get themselves into even more trouble.


Jyorgg Ormand's 3.4 billion isk Vargur was armed to the teeth with firepower and bling. But Agents Big Gradner Painhaus and Thrillans Painhaus had something better: the Code.



In its dying moments, Jyorgg Ormand's Vargur laid an egg, which Agent Big Gradner Painhaus quickly snatched up.


Agents of the New Order of Highsec: Faster, higher, stronger. What an inspiration.

24 comments:

  1. The CODE always wins! Always!

    Good job Agents!

    Now to wait for the tears...

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Alex Soonwalker". A prophetic name, seeing as now he has no ship :P

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would like to point out in the kills of the week, that not one of them was more than 2 or 3 jumps away from a trade hub. Any miner or shipper should take precautions 2 to 3 jumps away from them. The agents get lazy any further out then that. They can't just come out and say they are ganking for proffit. Instead they have to come here and listen to James preach CODE to feel better about what they do? If I was ganking, I sure wouldn't go to James and kiss his feet.

    ANYWAY, back to mining and watching Netflix.
    ANON

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for visiting "anonymous miner November 14, 2016 at 1:29 AM"
      please let us know when youre done with your program that calculates how many jumps "from a trade hub" every kill is, so that you can bask in the glory of your irrefutable proof!

      Delete
    2. Lament, I'm assuming that is who you are LvG, one only has to look at your kill board and a Dot-Lan map to see the irrefutable proof. As for my anonymity, it's what makes me nigh invincible as an agent. Just keep "LOL"ing yourself

      ANON

      Delete
    3. Why should they? Why would the lions go out hunting when the zebras come to them?

      Have fun making that massive $10M ISK per hour mining lol

      Delete
  4. The shuttle contained a vast collection of capital and supercapital BPCs. In highsec, we use those things to line the bottom of bird cages.

    I lol'd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol that one got me too!


      -Oink

      Delete
  5. Snigie I hope you're ok after the earthquake in your country! Stay safe!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would ask why the Vargur had to die because nobody mentioned how it broke the Code.

    Then I saw the ammo in the guns was mixed. Mixing ammo is always an inferior choice to loading all guns with the same ammo, so that alone is enough to make the pilot deserve to lose his ship.

    That you got the pod suggests he was autopiloting. Another good reason.

    Finally, I checked the killboards of the pilots who killed him. My conclusion: This wasn't a suicide gank.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, seems ninja salvage/looting still works. Also i see in his cargo a mobile tractor unit, maybe this is the reason he died (apart from stupidity of course).

      Delete
    2. My guess would be like yours. He saw people looting his wrecks. He shot them. They shot back.

      Though not the only possibility. He was running a smartbomb in high sec. Last I heard, they don't activate in high sec without your safety on red. Maybe he looted from a can that wasn't his.

      Delete
    3. He was mission running in highsec without a permit and using a mobile tractor unit. James 315 loves his rocks, he loves his gates, he loves his mission rats and he hates your MTUs. If miners, haulers and mission runners want to enjoy his bounty without paying the stipend, they're going to wind up on the wrong end of a neutron blaster one way or another.

      The mining permit is a name that gives reference to the order's humble beginnings but by no means is it a requirement exclusive to miners.

      Also, you don't have to suicide to pass along the savior's message. A good education comes from a multifaceted approach. And we all know highsec bears need educatin'.

      Delete
    4. >Also, you don't have to suicide to pass along the savior's message.

      Agreed. It's always impressive when means other than suicide ganking are used.

      Delete
  7. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nobody cares about Ming ^^

      but where is Kusion?

      Delete
    2. Kusion got banned

      Delete
    3. along with a lot of other people but James is keeping it quiet so he doesn't get banned. What a great time to be alive! THE DOWNFALL OF CODE. IS AMONG US!

      Delete
    4. How many times has "the downfall of Code" been among us? I lost count. Just checked the killboards, though. It looks like we still might be ganking stuff.

      Delete
  8. The code is not clear on mission runners. Other than getting a permit it doesn't stipulate mods banned etc etc... and what's wrong with using an MTU? It's effiecent way to scoop loot without having to fly all over the grid.

    ReplyDelete
  9. That's no bot aspiracy. It's common sense to use all tools to be efficient. I wouldn't Afk in a mission. Even while scooping loot. Too many flyers looking for fights by loot stealing. I would leave the mtu scooping while I grab a salvager.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sigh...

      And what if the MTU would not only grab your loot for you, but stow it tidily away in your hold - or even your item hangar - and perhaps, who knows? - take it to Jita and sell it for a rosy price...

      The sighting of an MTU is a clear sign that there's a bot-aspirant about. If he could totally automate the loot-collection process, he would, without a moment's hesitation. Bot-Aspirancy.

      Delete

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