Saturday, November 19, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #119

Meet Chrstn Renalard, the newest spokesman for Broadcast 4 Reps.

Actually, Chrstn's just a spokesman for the one hundred nineteenth edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag. Off we go!

Jojzag requested a special meeting with the Saviour of Highsec. But he'd already received an extremely helpful consultation from Agent Snigie Audanie.

The loopy Mackinaw pilot was right about one thing: Agents of the New Order are strong, and bot-aspirant miners are weak. Is it any wonder we're winning the war?

The CODE always wins--always--because we can turn anything negative into something positive. Even the once-hopeless wastelands of highsec.

Always, always, always.

As you can imagine, Korolator received a wealth of literature in reply to his question. Now to see if any of it sunk in:

The Code bounced off his brain on the first attempt. But our Agents never give up. Every carebear will become Code-compliant. To paraphrase Korolator, it could take a few weeks, months, or years, but it will happen.

Our Agents are always wary of running EVEmails from Russian miners through Google Translate. But sometimes the results are surprising.
"Unborn fag!"

"Poschel fuck. You have the developers say that they put on your territory system status 0.6. I am now bitch you'll be there waiting for and regularly drained."
...Most of the time the results aren't surprising, though. Our Agents have good instincts.

Telosis wrote this in local to Agent Basmek Six, who forwarded it by EVEmail. After writing his charming message, Telosis probably sent in a petition to CCP asking for our Agent to be banned.

Buckhalter Ego played for time by sending an ambiguous response to Agent Lawrence Lawton's request for a permit payment. Our Agents aren't interested in ambiguity; they seek the truth in all its clarity.

It's safe to say Buckhalter got some really good advice:

Further proof that the more a miner thinks and reads, the more likely he is to buy a permit.

When a carebear quits EVE, he can be secure in the knowledge that no matter how long he stays away, we'll still be here when he returns. The Code is forever.


  1. "I am now bitch"

    He got one part right, let's give him that.

  2. Some appalling carebear behaviour, handled very well by our esteemed Agents.

    If I recall correctly from my inbox of hatemail, it was Baskem Six who forwarded me the original message, and ‘Telosis’ who was the original author.

  3. I see Revis is making new friends..:)

  4. wow if antiganking stopped the ganks these plebs wouldnt have to go psycho.

    antiganking failing daily :D

    you cant stump the 315 :D : D

    1. I think AG largely has given up. I never see the usuals around anymore and the only people who sometimes interfere with my movement are the wardec campers on major gates.

      pajedas is in Doomheim

    2. "pajedus is in doomheim"

      It's about time, people like him don't deserve EVE. All they are entitled to is the constant mocking and derision we subjected him too.
      And it was not easy, he was one stubborn asshole, but we did it. We removed another toxic entity from EVE.

      And we will attack the next cocksucker that tries to turn EVE into WoW also. And the next, and the next, as we have done since 2004.
      Fuck these carebears! If they want to play carebear games they should sign up for something else, not try to reshape EVE to suit brain-dead gameplay.

      Hey "anti-gankers", when I see your characters try to change EVE, or supporting highsec bots, or on the forums trying to convince CCP that real EVE players are 'evil', it makes me smile.
      I smile because it means I have a new target to go after. :)

      You can call it bullying, or harassment, or whatever you fags want, but when I am done with you the ag char you hide behind will be abandoned as well, because that's what it takes to protect EVE.

      I know pedojedus will read this, and to him and his ilk I say GTFO. No one likes you. You are ineffective, uneducated, slow witted, and your mom likes it in the bum. xD
      And stay out you POS!

      You were not the first, and assuming you were not the last, We have steeled myself to the task at hand.
      If you ag shits keep trying to destroy EVE you will be trolled, in game AND out, until you abandon your cause or pull a Kalynn. Either way EVE and it's real players are better off.

    3. Boo freaking hoo. Agent tears are so rare. I'm going to ruin your EVE! HaHaHa. You poor agents would be bored to death without us Carebears.

      Your likely reply: "Phag"

      It'd a shame your answers are so predictable, just like your ganks.

    4. Try harder 537 triggered PHag.

  5. Just watched 4 codetards fail to gank my DST. Need to learn about overheating noobcakes! Code crayon eaters fail again!

    1. Proof or gtfo, PHag

    2. Can't even provide a semblance of truth? Must be foxbolt or kip wanker.

  6. All these highsec miners can get bent. They are leaches. They deserve all the Void you can deliver.

    Highsec afk miners make for good targets, and little else. All they can do is cry and rage and wish RL death and disease on regular EVE players.

    1. YEA! cause Hi-sec would be so much fun for you with no hi-sec miners around. You would actually have to go to low sec to find them, but then again, your probably scared to go that far out anyway. Calling the miners leaches is funny, cause don't you leach off their isk? If your gonna comment, can't you at least put some thought into it?

  7. Make sure you kids don't forget to take your Ritalin. Ritalin is easy!

  8. For anyone who needs a good laugh, or a hundred even.


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