Saturday, November 26, 2016

Calming the Miners of Osmon, Part 1

If joy could be converted into pure sound, it would be the sound of an Agent announcing his arrival in a system of highsec.

Agent Liek DarZ loves to educate and train highsec miners to obey the Code. He also loves killing the miners; his two loves fit together in perfect harmony.

Liek DarZ's work in the Osmon system quickly bore fruit: Immediately upon announcing himself, he was paid 10 million isk for a permit by one of the local miners.

Our Agent's heart was grieved when he discovered that very miner violating the Code only half an hour later. gslayer was caught AFK mining in a 566 million isk ORE-fit Mackinaw. The miner had also been hiding a 3.5 billion isk pod, which earned a spot on the Kills of the Week.

After destroying more than 4 billion isk of gslayer's assets, Liek DarZ hurriedly convo'ed the miner to see what had gone wrong.

It's becoming more common these days for miners to excuse their AFK behavior with claims they'd been distracted by reading the Code. It's not a proper excuse. Reading the Code is important, yes. But even the rebels and Anti-Gankers read the Code. More important is living the Code.

gslayer had tarnished his mining permit forever. Agent Liek offered him the opportunity to purchase a fresh one.

Although our Agents are basically the only friends that the highsec miners have in this game, the New Order's role in the miners' lives goes well beyond friendship. We're basically their parents. Liek gave gslayer a fatherly talk, just like one from an episode of "Full House".

gslayer was down in the dumps--further evidence that he placed too much emphasis on isk and material possessions in EVE. Agent Liek didn't want gslayer to spend his time wallowing in self-pity. It was time to help pull the miner out of the hole he'd dug for himself.

It's extremely vital for miners to accept the blame when they get ganked. If the miner understands that he was at fault, then he knows that he can prevent further harm and improve his life by correcting his own actions. If a miner blames the ganker--whose actions he does not control--then he imagines himself in a terrifying and unpredictable world of chaos. That's no way to live.

Our Agent wiped away gslayer's tears and got him ready for a new day. With that taken care of, Liek DarZ left the private convo and returned to Osmon local chat.

Agent Liek modestly trumpeted his victory in local. But the news was met with some confusion.

The Osmon miners gathered around. They were intensely curious about what had happened. Liek discovered that while the miners were all familiar with the New Order and its Code, they had misconceptions. There was a real danger that they could learn the wrong lesson from the gslayer gank. An Agent's work is never done.

To be continued...


  1. The Code always wins! Always!

    1. Except when it loses. Plenty of examples daily. Always!

    2. If agents did half as good a job as they thought, there would be no Carebears in hi-sec at all. Talk about failing daily.

    3. Execxpt when they get perma-banned. Outch. XD XD

  2. Replies
    1. /me looks at you

    2. /me looks at loyalanons ISK. Its all gone! Shit then again hes not even playing EvE because hes a scrub now.

    3. /me looks at all these tears and i dont even have to say anything XDXDXD

  3. Well done Agent DarZ! You got a podkill of the week, convinced the miner to accept responsibility, and then sold him a new permit.

  4. Replies
    1. Hi Forum warrior. Do you even play this game anymore?

  5. Why does code get blamed for everything?

    Them some mad bitches in the comments.

  6. Its about time somebody from new order logistics killed something

  7. Liek DarZ, get a RL job.. you mommy won't pay your account forever.

  8. People like this "corp" are why I'm glad my patience vastly exceeds that of the usual MMO player...and why I'm glad I live in w-space. James' ego is even greater than people accuse Shatner of having. I'm tempted to roll a ganker of my own and just scour your area for anyone with a -5 security standing just for giggles.

  9. "I'm not sure I care to know what that is, but it doesn't really matter"/ Clearly no interests in the game's development, only interested in your own role play.

    I bet in 10 years, if EVE is still around, you're still doing the same thing.

    But I guess the game won't last that long anymore, since you're ruining every new player's experience and ruining every new feature because it doesn't fit your conservatism.

    When the game finally dies you will be too old, egotistical and blind to admit that you were part of EVE's decline in (new) players.

  10. I love this blog. He killed me ingame
    Is this a kind of Stockholm-syndrom or smth. like that ?


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