Sunday, November 27, 2016

Kills of the Week

Highsec is a wondrous place, especially now that the New Order is in charge. But it's not for everyone. How can you tell if highsec is right for you? Well, if you don't belong in highsec, one of our Agents will show up and politely let you know. Here are some people who were gently nudged toward the exit during the week of November 20th @ 00:00 EVEtime through November 26th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

We've been seeing some weird Retrievers lately. Maddni's 1.2 billion isk Retriever didn't have much of a fit. Agents Tax Collector Richard and Taxman Daniel took it down within a few seconds, which is probably longer than Maddni spent fitting it. And if you're wondering why it was so expensive...

Ah, just the kind of mining equipment every Retriever pilot needs.

Yikes. Steven Schiavone2 apparently took the "gankers can't kill Skiffs" myth a bit too seriously. Steven's Skiff fit was so decadent that it guaranteed funding for anyone who would gank it. Agents Rick Therapist, Brutal Anna, Carebears' Nightmare, Profesor Woland, Marketka, and Marina Gankalot accepted the invitation and took him down.

KAELSPACESHIPSONTHENET SPACEISBIG was AFK autopiloting in a shuttle. How quaint! New Caldari is Agent Ralliana's favorite 1.0 security system to kill things in, so she didn't hesitate to get involved.

This must've been a delivery intended for a mining system. Somewhere there's a pair of Retrievers docked up and unsure of what to do with themselves.

Ceswrath piloted a Mastadon, but on the inside there was a Mammoth pilot just waiting to break out. Though not as vulnerable as it would've been in a tech I hauler, Ceswrath's 5.8 billion isk cargo was not exactly safeguarded. Agents Tax Collector Emile, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Richard, Taxman Daniel, and Tax Collector Zakard are exceedingly efficient at popping haulers of all kinds.

Most of the loot value came from a bunch of new items related to something called an "engineering complex". I'm not sure I care to know what that is, but it doesn't really matter. When CCP introduces new features, they merely provide more ways for carebears to lose expensive things.

Lord Kador--"Overdrive Kador" as his friends call him--was in a big hurry. Not in-game, of course. That might've saved him. No, he was in a rush to do something while AFK. He could've put his freighter on autopilot, but even that would've been too safe. Instead, Overdrive Kador (we're all friends here) decided to chill out in an asteroid belt for a while. You can meet some interesting people in highsec asteroid belts, let me tell you.

Agents Jack Fizzleblade, Hermann Fizzleblade, Nullus Modus, Archibald Fizzleblade, dAbOsSlAdY77, Franz Fizzleblade, Unfit ForDoody, Jet Set Milly, Lawrence Lawton, Ayatola Whoami, Austrene Jakuard, Yojiro, Emergent Gameplay, Collateralized Contracts, Janica Erris, Hagen Fizzleblade, Mack Poddington, Perlo Tissant, James Poddington, Dean Wong, Joe Kouvo, Hulk Poddington, Skiff Poddington, Mark Ormerant, Urban Worrier, and Ichami Akiga wanted to enjoy some time in an asteroid belt, so they decided to join Overdrive Kador. They discovered he was a Code violator, and death soon followed.

Still losing Citadels? That's so last expansion of him.

In nullsec, people like to make fun of FCON, but in highsec, we're willing to give everyone a chance. By violating the Code, Jonas McNeill wasted his chance to make a good impression. Agent Ralliana brought Jonas up to speed on how life in highsec works.

To begin with, the absence of bubbles in highsec is no excuse for decadent implants. We follow the Code here. If you don't like it, go live somewhere else.


  1. Lol half you guys are banned trololololololol

    1. Thanks for the tears, PHag.

    2. Mmmmm these tears never felt better. Seeing you banned makes my day everyday. Enjoy these self contrived tears.

    3. Most of those bans were repealed.
      Those tears tho, mad even though Agents were banned. (Wrongfully it would seem)

      Carebears carry around way too much butthurt for way too long.

      Looks like Code still wins, even banned.
      Useless ag twats, cry more in these comments please. Is real lulzy.

    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. "We follow the Code here. If you don't like it, go live somewhere else."

    Fuk yea! Like WoW you PHags, or hello kitty or anywhere but EVE.

    GTFO, PVP will always be the correct play style for EVE.
    Carebear pigs can htfu or not, they still gonna die while doing pve in a PVP game.

    Carebears claim there is viable pve in hisec, but they die all day to PVPers. That can only mean CCP still wants EVE to be PVP.
    All other arguments are invalid as long as it's legal to shoot shitters in hisec!


  3. We need to build a wall around highsec.

  4. We certainly need to build a wall around our Saviour's first bumping ship; looks like Rhiload has it for the chop over on Reddit.

    The Stabber

  5. The trend of New Order and AG alike using the comments to make off-topic jabs at each other is getting old.

    Praise James 315 for this bountiful week!

  6. Kill of the week:


  7. wow 20 code members banned and antigankers still failed XDXDXD

    1. More AG kills this week than kills in your dead corp thats for sure.

      Cant wait for your return

    2. Yet Wolf still trolls the forums....

  8. But where oh where is Ming?


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