Monday, October 30, 2017

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 23

Previously, on MinerBumping... What would happen if a bumper never stopped bumping? That's what Mission Ready Mining, EVE's sixth-largest corporation, was finding out. Agent Georgia B Dixie had absolute command over the Gelhan system. Everything MRM had thrown at her had completely failed to stop her.


Highsec miners cry tremendous tears when they lose a ship, it's true. But most miners don't need to lose a ship to cry. A bump or two will do.


redneck atkinson got bumped so hard and so often that it began to impair his cognitive functioning--and he didn't have much to spare.


The fact was, Agent Georgia couldn't be stopped. For weeks, MRM tried every trick in the book and none of it worked. New Order supremacy was the new normal.


redneck wasn't the only miner going mad. The rest of MRM's miners remained docked up, waiting for hours for Georgia to leave. It was a terrible life for these non-compliant miners.


The next day, Georgia was back at it in the Gelhan system. A few MRM miners tried to get in some early morning mining, but they were quickly shooed out of the ice anomaly.


One of the MRM miners, Xavier Forlorne, was completely fed up. He demanded to know whether Georgia would admit to the crime of long-term harassment. And he wouldn't accept anything other than a yes or no answer.


Unfortunately, Agent Georgia didn't really feel like playing the "yes or no" game. Xavier didn't make the rules; Georgia did. She'd proven that much already.


Xavier's furious questioning continued. "Are you now, or have you ever been, a Code enforcer?"


Georgia rolled her eyes at the demanding miner. She didn't owe Xavier an explanation or anything else. The guy didn't even have a permit.


Agent TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet spoke up on Georgia's behalf. And Xavier, it seemed, spoke for CCP. He claimed to know a lot about their preferences, including CCP's dislike of role-playing games. (They sure got into the wrong business if that's true.)


Xavier felt satisfied that "do what you will" qualified as a confession. He would forward a screenshot of TheInternet's statement to CCP and demand that our Agents be permabanned. Now all Xavier had to do was wait for CCP to come to the rescue. But could the miners of MRM hold out for that long--or would they lose their minds forever?

To be continued...

39 comments:

  1. When oh when will these recalcitrant carebears finally realise they're at the bottom of the food chain - lower than cockroaches? When will they learn to calm down and buy a permit?

    But I suppose training pigs is hard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
    2. These miners are worth less than a sewer cockroach's dick

      Delete
    3. Lovely imagery, so glad you could share your tears.

      Delete
  2. If for some reason I was running an illegal mining operation in Highsec with over 2,000 members, I would instruct 0.5% of those capsuleers to form a small gank fleet of destroyers. Including manufacture/hauling/skill training/pilot training, depending on numbers I estimate this would take approximately 48 hours to implement for a large corp. Repeatedly dispatching a bumper from this point on would be relatively straightforward.

    I could even go as far as writing them a detailed step by step guide detailing exactly what they need to do to end the siege, with minimal loss of ISK to the corp, and I know they would still be utterly incapable of any meaningful action.

    Instead, I shall look forward to reading Part 24, and laughing at their ongoing failure.

    Praise James! \0/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you, but if they want to pull that off they need, you know, brains. Unfortunately:

      "redneck atkinson got bumped so hard and so often that it began to impair his cognitive functioning--and he didn't have much to spare."

      Delete
    2. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
    3. Carebears are greedy and that would cut from their precious AFK mining time. Not to mention they would shit their pants at the idea of trying to take out an agent.

      Delete
    4. Who let ISIS, I mean Hitler, I mean code out for a cry?

      Delete
  3. I have a hard time understanding how one agent can keep so many people in check. But then again these are the lowest kind of human life out there so there is that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  4. lol he's really grasping at straws if he considers that a smoking gun "solid answer". These MRM carebears are getting desperate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's like the fail trolls on the comments section of our site saying that the agent is "triggered" and calling it "tears" when anyone responds to their fail post.
      Cue John Pirtle with his drivel.

      Delete
    2. Calm down murder lovers, don't get triggered and go full shardani.

      Delete
  5. Always fun picking them off in the ghetto every 15 mins. Even funnier listening to them say after every explosion that TEST will sort me out. Hahahaha reading anything about this lot is an uber lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  6. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  8. Unbelievable...1 agent holds a whole mining corp at bay. Main reason I quit mining and went on to exploration and mission running. I could never find a mining corp that would fight back or stand their ground. Not in Null-sec, not in Hi-sec, not a one. Could not live like that - not in RL and certainly not in a virtual life. Praise James! \0/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  9. Dumbest fucking carebears evah!

    That xavier shitter needs to be ganked until he learns that EVE is PVP or he quits. We cannot allow someone that stupid to shit up EVE any longer.

    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  10. Cue murderloveranon tears. That's one dumb shitter.



    And I hear he like abusing children.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sure but your agents are the ones making the news. Now stop being triggered, turn over your firearms and give yourself over to the authorities. Your children will be much happier with you getting the help you need.

      Now calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  11. Anti-fa and nambla team up to form irl anti ganking in support of pedophiles. I think I figured what the "anti" in anti-ganking stands for:

    Anti-fa Nambla Terrorists Inc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Video of anti ganking irl:

      https://mobile.twitter.com/ColumbiaBugle/status/925169481638277120/video/1

      Delete
    2. Sounds like they have been indoctrinated by the code and are using the same terror tactics that James has taught you.

      Trying to cover for your code brethren again, you know it doesn't work. We can spot you snowflakes a mile away.

      Try not to get too triggered by this and beat your kids, remember leave your rage in game.

      Delete
    3. Anon 3:49, seems legit

      Delete
    4. Another triggered ISIS, I mean agent.

      Delete
  12. Hahahaha this salty murder lover poster spends so much time crying in the comments section it has become an hourly ritual for him every day. O man i can not imagine being that autistic in rl about a video game. Hahahahahaha. Hit the refresh button john.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whooops looks like Karma got triggered AGAIN. Send the authorities to his house AGAIN.

      Damn this guy cries so much I got 2 gallons of tears from just 2 days of his breakdowns. Hope his kids are fine and he don't end up like his hero shartdani.

      Delete
    2. That Johnny Piddle is one useless triggered shitter

      Delete
    3. More tears how lovely.

      Delete
  13. 2 code agents have been arrested for terror attack plot in Northallerton, looks like more of the code is bringing their hate and rage out of game.

    Thankfully these two were caught before they could hurt anyone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My sources say the would be terrorists AFK mined while devising their plans..

      Delete
    2. Not today ISIS. Code is jailed.

      Delete
    3. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete

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