Sunday, October 15, 2017

Kills of the Week

EVE is supposed to be fun. Losing ships isn't fun--if you have the wrong attitude. Our Agents have it right: "I'm going to enjoy losing my ship to CONCORD while ganking this miner." The carebears, on the other hand, are so sour when they lose their ships. They grind out their PvE like a job, and then they get mad when they lose a round of PvP. If you can't enjoy PvE or PvP, what's left? Tears.

Let's take a look at some carebears who lost at PvP during the week of October 8th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 14th @ 23:59 EVEtime. Shall we?

Kjilrik lost about a quarter of a billion isk when his anti-tanked Retriever went down. The offending module was an ORE Expanded Cargohold. It ever-so-slightly increased the amount of ore Kjilrik could hold--while costing several times as much as the Retriever itself. Agents Alyth Nerun and Ima Wreckyou happily scooped the blingy module and sold it. They undoubtedly took note of the purchaser's name, so don't be surprised if we see it again.

People like Bokushi hypocritically complain about lack of opportunities to defend themselves, all while anti-tanking their flimsy haulers almost to death. Agents Radiant VanDenBerg and V-ktor Dolus had the privilege of defeating Bokushi on the battlefield. What they found inside Bokushi's cargo bay shocked them:

Bokushi was transporting his wardrobe, along with 500 units of PLEX. Keep in mind that earlier this year, CCP succumbed to the whining carebears' demands to make PLEX 100% safe by allowing it to be teleported like isk instead of hauled from station to station. Incredibly, Bokushi still managed to lose 1.5 billion isk of PLEX. He is almost certainly a bot-aspirant. I mean, just look at the evidence.

Corvuss laid his Providence to rest in Uedama, where it joined the rest of the Code-violating freighters. It was tanked, yes, but bringing an unlicensed freighter into Uedama is little better than activating the ship's self-destruct sequence and going AFK for a few minutes.

Agents Miros Homar, Elite Highsec PvP, BAE B BLUE, BAE B PEW, Unfit ForDoody, Jack Fizzleblade, Gea Stormbound, Emergent Gameplay, ClearLove, Darnoth, Lawrence Lawton, Bluekiss, Selina Love, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, Ivana Freemam, Ciek Ciekawski, Hulk Poddington, Mack Poddington, SP104FREDERIC, James Poddington, Yojiro, Ronnie Botten, Skiff Poddington, Padme Love, Bielun Agrest, Archibald Fizzleblade, Basic Black Bitch, Franz Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Lunar Love, Hagen Fizzleblade, Pat Makunt, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Rosanna Love, Walther Fizzleblade, Sharon Arran, Hermann Fizzleblade, Yuliana Tang, and Sadepilveni destroyed the expensive freighter--which was also violating the Code by carrying too much cargo--and reclaimed 13 billion isk from its wreck.

I wonder, what manner of jump freighter pilot gets ganked in highsec, when he can easily jump-drive out at any time? The aptly named minus one JF gives us the answer: The same kind of pilot who equips 870 million isk worth of ORE anti-tank modules. minus one JF went AFK and autopiloted her way into the loving embrace of Agents Sinister Minister, Leeroy, Mallory, Yasashi konma, BAE B PEW, BAE B BLUE, Bint Bint, Pure Whyte, Elite Highsec PvP, Yojiro, Shazna Solta, Emergent Gameplay, Hermann Fizzleblade, Another ShadeOf Whyte, Jack Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Sophie Whyte, Archibald Fizzleblade, Gea Stormbound, Franz Fizzleblade, Unfit ForDoody, Hagen Fizzleblade, Captain Cortar, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Synamic, Walther Fizzleblade, Bluekiss, ClearLove, Lunar Love, Selina Love, Basic Black Bitch, Ashley Whyte, Padme Love, Rosanna Love, Eel Soup, and Tom Jamess.

ALTxF4 did something crazy this week: He took his 3.2 billion isk pod out for a little stroll, sans ship. He must've been AFK and autopiloting, otherwise even a pod-killing expert like Agent Eva Mavas would've had trouble catching him.

There was a lot of stuff in this pod, but I guess ALTxF4 didn't think any of it was worth protecting behind the hitpoints of a ship.

Mira Padecaina's 3.3 billion isk pod edged out the previous one by the narrowest of margins. Mira, too, had a naked pod. If this is a trend, it's one our Agents will stamp out. Agent Pod-Goo Repoman did not hesitate to shatter the unlicensed Capsule.

Asklepian set? More like AFKlepian. What a Goofus.


  1. ag failing hardcore non-stop daily!

  2. Always triggering shitters.


    You may cry now.

  3. Replies
    1. This one is praying to his savior, he may go full paddock shortly, seek shelter.

    2. This 'anon' accidentally posted with his name (John Pirtle) and then tried to delete it so that he can continue to post jokes about the Vegas shooting and 911 behind the veil of anonymity.
      Great job doxing yourself, pleb.

    3. Yet code is the group that jokes about murder suicide and death daily. Now they want to pawn off their guilt on some nobody.


  4. Woo hoo, miner murdering time! The best thing about murdering miners? It's legal in game and is part of intended game design.

    In game of course, you ag piddlers should stop killing rl. Wtf is wrong with you people? Lookin at you johnnie, you poor mad shitter. J

  5. wow antigankers couldn't save a triple bulkheaded freighter? damn they are grade A losers.

    never forget shardani

    1. This one is praying to the shardani, he may go full child killer, be watchful at schools and colleges. Someone get the cops involved.

    2. Typical of ag isn't it? Even in their fail trolls they hope somebody else will do something.

    3. Typical code, laughing about death.
      Telling people to kill themselves.
      Telling people what they can and cant do.
      Telling people to praise an in game savior.
      Telling people they must play a game one way.
      Bringing up RL shit to advance their gameplay.
      Trying to claim the high road about separating RL from RP even though they always bring up RL for their RP.

      Yeah blame the trolls for all the shit you do.

    4. Calm down murder lover.

  6. As an Agent of the New Order, I am always disappointed to discover an ORE module has survived in a miners wreck. Handling and processing illegal goods is a difficult reality for an Agent, and it seems as though the problem is only getting worse.

    Sadly one cannot simply delete these wretched wares, else we would have no way of identifying their buyers.

    Selling the ORE modules and constantly making hundreds of millions of ISK only adds to our suffering, when we should instead be allowed to live by the words of our great prophet, Sophaya Fortelleren:

    “O' knight of the order, thy dwelling is poverty, no expensive ships do you own, no money in your account, in this life thou art a pauper, for the sake of thine task you accept this suffering. But in your hearts lay purity whose measure rises higher than that of any great wealth, each time the gank is performed a brick added to thy spiritual palace. Praise upon you, the knights, ye' mendicants.”

    1. Calm down murder lover.

    2. Why not just reprocess them instead of putting them back on the market.

    3. Doesn't matter the game will just populate new parts anyway.

  7. He set fire to the place so no one can say for certain, but people who really knew shardani knew what he did with the toddler before he burnt the evidence.

  8. What are the kusions up to these days?

    1. I heard one of them manages a bar all the way down in Delve.
      Three have been spotted running FW missions in Black Rise, according to sources.
      Someone in the hauling channel mentioned Kusion Fusion being up for sale on the character bazaar, but I did a search and couldn't find the thread. Do they get deleted after a while? Can't say I've used that subforum much.
      As for the rest of the family, your guess is as good as mine.

    2. They telling people to kill themselves.
      They also shooting up concerts and making bomb threats.
      They being busy little terrorists for James both in and out of game.


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