Friday, October 20, 2017

The Fraudster's Egg


Some people are in a hurry to get ganked. Barely ten days into the game, Petr Rashpil already had his very own unlicensed, yield-fit Retriever. Until he didn't.


The miner contacted Agent Super Perforator, who hooked him up with a Russian translation of the Code. Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, who did the translation a few years ago, has helped countless Russians.


Though Petr had access to some kind of translator himself, he struggled to get his point across. If he encouraged our Agent to commit suicide in real life, it wasn't totally clear--which is probably for the best.


Petr turned out to be a Russian space lawyer. This meant that he was better at breaking the law than a layman.


Evidently it's against the EULA to destroy a ship after its pilot disconnects from the game. I guess somebody owes CYV0K a big apology.


Petr got so upset that he reverted to his native tongue. That's no way to get your Retriever reimbursed.


The miner refused to buy a mining permit, preferring instead to file a petition with SSP. If SSP's GMs are anything like CCP's, they're probably getting tired of frivolous petitions. But don't feel too sorry for them. After all, our Agents have to deal with more frivolous complaints than anyone.

20 comments:

  1. 29th of September. Michaelmas.
    Truly one of the great days of the year.
    And a great story to boot. Praise James!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
    2. Becoming a terrorist and murdering people is not a goal to desire. James has twisted your mind and programmed you to become a terrorist and child molester.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. A child molester. We know agent its nothing to brag about.

      Delete
  3. Only 11 days old and he has a yield fit retriever? Seems kinda fishy to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  4. wow antigankers are failing so hard.

    never forget shardani

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah keep praying to your favorite child killing agent.

      Remember to keep your impotent rage in game only, once you take it out of game your going straight to jail or worse, just like your other murdering friends did.

      Delete
  5. New order logistics going after the big targets again. Then again its an improvement on ventures lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As compared to your impressive killboard? Oh wait...

      Delete
    2. Calm down murder lovers. Nitetime you at want to consider counseling so you wont take out you sick sexual fantasies on your children. Help is out there.

      Delete
    3. Ventures are just as valid a target as retrievers. All criminals in high sec must accept that they can be targeted and removed at our discretion.
      New Order Logistics is not in this for killboards or glory kills... but to do the hard work that needs to be done.
      Praise James! o7

      Delete
  6. Is the "murder lover" guy a chat bot?! Lel irl bot aspirancy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How original murder lover. Need new programming don't ya?

      Delete
    2. Please folks, john suffers from bot aspirancy, john has a real tangible problem. You know it all started much like this retreiver pilot. If only one of us had ganked john earlier he might have been saved. Instead he comes to the comments section with his pan hoping for somebody to chuck some spare change in it. We are not able to help everybody but let johns story remind you of the dangers of ice mining. Dont do it folks.

      Delete
    3. Sadly, John Pirtle is not a bot. He is a real idiot who posted with his name in our comment section and now is trying his hardest to bury it with anon comments. But the North remembers.

      Delete
    4. Sadly all code agents are just programmed bots that James has sent into the world with a goal of murder and molesting children. They suffer the fatal programming that all terrorists do, they themselves believe they are fighting for a higher cause when in fact they are just a bot now programed by their leader to do unspeakable harm to people in the name of a savior.

      Help is available to break the programming they need only to recognize that they have been made into child molesters and killers in the name of a religious cult.

      Delete
    5. John Pirtle is a sad little man

      Delete

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