Sunday, October 22, 2017

Kills of the Week

"The New Order is taking things too far," the carebears lament. "They're telling us how to fit our ships now? What gives them the right?" First of all, the Code gives us the right. Second of all, from a purely pragmatic standpoint, consider what happens when miners go off on their own, fitting their ships however they choose. They end up like some of these guys from the week of October 15th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 21st @ 23:59 EVEtime:



Sabine Feldbaum's experimental Covetor fit ended up costing her half a billion isk. Somehow, Agents D34dly D34dly and Slutzilla managed to break through her hardy capacitor tank. Anything to get at those juicy ORE Strip Miners.



mark208 must've scoffed at Sabine's half-billion isk loss, "Let me show you how it's done!" With a full set of 'Carpo' Mining Laser Upgrades to complement his own pair of ORE Strip Miners, make208's Hulk was worth a cool billion isk. Agents D34dly D34dly, Larsulrik Napsterbane, and Slutzilla hit the jackpot twice this week. Like they say in Vegas, the CODE always wins.



Alas! Another victim of the "don't buy a permit, just use a Procurer and they won't be able to gank you" school of thought. Fortis spiritus suffered a staggering loss when his Procurer was PvP'ed by Agents Photon Death, Plasma Death, and Liek DarZ. Fortis was using ORE Ice Harvesters, of course, but still--how did this mining barge manage to cost 1.3 billion isk? Was he carrying valuable cargo?


No, it's just that 'Ingenii' Ice Harvester Upgrades are that expensive. Nearly 950 million isk for a pair! It should go without saying that these are highly illegal modules. Our Agents will be keeping a close eye on any miner suspected of using them.



ofuton nukunuku made two huge mistakes this week. First, he devised an extraordinarily fail-fit Rattlesnake. I mean, look at it. Second, ofuton failed to pay his taxes. He was paid a friendly visit by Agents Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Max, and Taxman Daniel, who helped get him into Code-compliance by taking away his ship.

Oh, and nice hat, dude.



Melissa Mardain must've known she was taking a huge risk by autopiloting a 23.5 billion isk jump freighter through New Order territory. What she didn't realize is how much firepower the Gate Tax Collection Agency has been mustering of late.


Eighteen Tornadoes were recorded on this kill. The terrifying fleet consisted of Agents Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Hill, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Aruka, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Fuemi, Taxman Daniel, and Mining Lord 1999.



Somehow, Agent Eva Mavas suspected that Hulk pilot Slumber was AFK mining. (I don't know, maybe it was his name that gave it away.) And in Kino of all places! Slumber woke up at some point after his pod was destroyed. In the process, 4.4 billion isk worth of implants disappeared like a forgotten dream.


A bunch of Snakes and expensive missile implants? I suppose this Hulk pilot fancied himself a PvP'er. And he did end up PvP'ing--but Agent Eva was much better at it.

31 comments:

  1. Phew! No sign of carebears harming their wives and children. We can rest easy. Praise James!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what code murder lovers do, as well as shoot up concerts, colleges, schools, make bomb threats and suicide themselves with bomb vests.

      Delete
  2. Replies
    1. Amen brother and praise Him with great Praise!

      And burn heretic Ag with holy Antimatter!

      Delete
    2. Yup they are praying to their savior again, wonder what they plan on doing now, beat their kids, molest them, or are they sending an agent out to do another shooting.

      Delete
  3. That pod has to be right up there. Wonder what z kill put it at?.

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow antigankers are failing so hard right now

    never forget shardani

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You gonna trigger little johnnie pritle or piddle or pedo or whatever that Pandemic Horde anti ganker's name is.

      Delete
    2. He can't resist. He'll be here soon and cry anonymously even though he doxed himself like a pleb.

      Delete
    3. Pandemic Horde anti gankers

      Little johnnie piddles should fit right in that group...
      or vice versa

      Delete
    4. Uh oh, they praying to the shardani, looks like a code agent will be killing children, please watch out for your kids today the code is after children to murder.

      Delete
  5. Even though I've taken a break from EVE, it puts my mind at ease when I see that highsec is doing just fine thanks to our friendly, local New Order agents.

    Keep up the great work guys!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  6. The code has prayed to their savior and their shardani, today an agent is likely to be out looking to kill children, please be aware that they are radicalized by James 315 and do not care if they die in the process of killing or molesting. It is their training to rush straight in guns blazing or cocks out, with no regard for anything around them. Shoot these terrorists on sight is you have protection, if not seek shelter and call the authorities.

    Code is no longer just in game, they are actively seeking targets in real life.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Look at em multibox like mother fuckers, they don't have the people to make up the size they boast so they just throw money at the game to multibox lots of accounts.

    Code is the only group keeping eve going, CCP will never ban em because they pay lots of money for these ganker gangs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Somebody is jelous.

      Delete
    2. Calm down triggered murder lover.

      Delete
  8. all these enforcements pale in comparison to James 315...who KILLED it this week with:
    "Oh, and nice hat, dude."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And his agent Paddock who really did kill people.

      Now calm down murder lover and seek help.

      Delete
  9. Calm down little johnnie piddles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete
  10. Just got johns phone number. Too funny better than teamspeak so salty. +496925499762 ask him why he keeps calling people nazis when he is a german?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Blog reported for doxing/publication of personal information with intent to harass or bully.

      Delete
    2. Now he is posting fake numbers while still replying to his own comments in order to "Report" our blog. Little Johnny is getting desperate.

      Delete
    3. Still doesn't excuse your friends from touching children and shooting up places. Keep your impotent rage in game you fucking terrorists.

      Delete
  11. That poor Rattlesnake....you did a good thing by putting it out of it's misery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel as though the pilot probably thought he was a genius for coming up with that fit too. It's a frightening thought. Oh, and fuck his hat.

      Delete
    2. Calm down murder lover.

      Delete

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