Wednesday, November 22, 2017

From Toad to Prince, Part 1


I don't think this got much coverage in the big EVE news sites, but the New Order won a key victory in the war against bot-aspirancy: An unlicensed Retriever was successfully ganked by our Agents. The miner's Kernite became especially fiery that day.


After what seemed like an eternity, Prince Ugly roused himself and tried to warn other carebears about that whole "miner ganking" thing that was going on.


Agent Aaaarrgg offered soothing words to console the miner, but he was rebuffed. Prince Ugly was the kind of miner who gnashes his teeth while claiming not to be angry.


With the assistance of a well-placed emoticon, Aaaarrgg engaged in some high-speed rapport building and got the miner to confess his guilt in no time at all. They make this look so much more difficult on TV.


Prince Ugly didn't care about his loss--but he despised those who killed him. At the same time, he despaired of doing anything about it. The miner was sliding into nihilism.


Just as Agent Aaaarrgg was getting ready to type a really persuasive argument into local chat, he was interrupted by yet another disaffected carebear.


Gias Octavian, a hauler pilot, was tired of trying to dodge gankers. He vowed to quit the game. (Studies show that he probably won't.)


Gias Octavian didn't give his stuff to Aaaarrgg, so our Agent's attention returned to the whiny miner. Prince Ugly was a hardened bot-aspirant. Convincing him to buy a permit would be a monumental task.


Our hero deployed the name of the Saviour of Highsec. Prince's resistance didn't soften, though. There would be no silver bullet solution today.


Aaaarrgg had no choice but to put in the work. He deftly parried the miner's argument. Now it was Aaaarrgg's turn to go on the offensive.


The true depth of Prince's bot-aspirancy was revealed: He had no intention of playing EVE "actively". He preferred video games where he could be inactive while working his RL job.


There was no doubt that if Prince could safely bot, he would. The odds of selling a mining permit to someone like this weren't good. Not good at all.

To be continued...

40 comments:

  1. Generating ISK while not present at your keyboard goes against the multiplayer nature of EVE. How many times has a new player in a seemingly busy system greeted the locals and been effectively rebuffed because they were all AFK? How did he feel about it? Making ISK without effort is as harmful to EVE as botting.

    This is why it's so great that CCP created Forward Operating Bases (FOBs). They spawn unpredictably and send out tough rats all over the system. The rats aggress without tackling, so bots and bot-aspirants are relieved of their vessels while real players can just warp off.

    Congratulations on taking down the threat Agent Aaaarrgg!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoa a criminal professor. Keep it in game dude before I put you behiind bars to teach the inmates the reach around. Then again you prolly like taking it in the ass.

      Delete
    2. Calm down carebear vermin.

      Delete
    3. Even CCP doesn't like AFK fucks.

      Delete
    4. Lol 634 is a triggered internet tough guy. He has no authority, in-game or rl.

      Sounds like john pirtle want's to be a cop when he grows up. What is it with impotent carebears pretending to be in the criminal justice system? Kinda like foxbolt claiming to be a federal officer when in reality he was a laid-off security guard.


      Carebears are real shitters.

      Delete
    5. Calm down murder lovers.

      Delete
  2. "Generating ISK while not present at your keyboard goes against the multiplayer nature of EVE."

    Then why is PI part of the game? That is how I have made my billions, and never once ganked by Jamey's CHODE. slaves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chode slaves, you mean criminals, the code is a terrorist training camp focused on praising killing, child killers, child molestation, and mad shootings. James is a radical Islamist who wants to kill people and teach others to be martyrs for a jihad.

      Delete
    2. Calm down carebear vermin.

      Delete
    3. Calm down john pirtle

      Delete
    4. That is the most beta male career in eve online.

      Delete
    5. Wait a sec, you come here anonabeta 608 to whine yet claim CODE. Has never ganked you?

      Are you retarded or just a liar?

      Imagine getting upset enough to cry like a bitch on a forum about people who have never done anything to you.

      You encounter the full spectrum of autists when playing EVE these days.

      Who does that lol.

      Delete
    6. Calm down murder lovers.

      Delete
  3. Looks like a good guy called out your criminal behavior and informed you how low you are, calling shooting up civilians elite pvp, that's like saying running over kids in a monster truck is elite combat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down carebear vermin.

      Delete
    2. Nah, they just call running over kids in trucks cultural enrichment over in Europe.

      Delete
    3. Lol looks like you triggered shitters will never learn how to EVE, or how to leave rl out of game.

      You are mad over the mere existence of the Code, and your inability to affect a change in your miserable in-game condition.

      You will always lose to gankers while mining in highsec.


      Always!

      Delete
    4. pvp = player vs player

      don't forget it XD

      also - don't forget shardani

      Delete
    5. Calm down murder lovers.

      Oh how can we forget your greatest agent he took pvp to a new level.

      Delete
    6. Elite PVP = player vs illegal miner/hauler.

      Delete
  4. "I versed you"

    Are all agents this dumb?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm down carebear vermin.

      Delete
    2. Aargg is not known for his great writing skills however he is really good at ganking, so there is that.

      Delete
    3. That's the best line in the whole convo! If you are too stupid to understand satirical comedy, that's your problem. Aaaarrgg just pvp'd your ignorant ass and you didn't even know it.

      I loled.

      Delete
    4. Calm down murder lovers.

      Delete
  5. You may not abuse, harass or threaten another player or authorized representative of CCP, including customer service personnel and volunteers. This includes, but is not limited to: filing support tickets with false information in an attempt to gain from it or have someone else suffer from it; sending excessive e-mails, EVE-mails or support tickets; obstructing CCP Employees from doing their jobs; refusal to follow the instructions of a CCP Employee; or implying favoritism by a CCP Employee.
     You may not use any abusive, defamatory, ethnically or racially offensive, harassing, harmful, hateful, obscene, offensive, sexually explicit, threatening or vulgar language. (Alternate spelling or partial masking of such words will be reprimanded in the same manner as the actual use of such words.)
     You may not organize nor be a member of any corporation or group within EVE Online that is based on or advocates any anti-ethnic, anti-gay, anti-religious, racist, sexist or other hate-mongering philosophies
     You may not use “role-playing” as an excuse to violate these rules. While EVE Online is a persistent world, fantasy role-playing game, the claim of role-playing is not an acceptable defense for anti-social behavior. Role-playing is encouraged, but not at the expense of other player. You may not create or participate in a corporation or group that habitually violates this policy.
     You will report out-of-game issues regarding harassment, such as threatening phone calls or correspondence, to your local law enforcement officials or Internet provider. CCP will not reveal personal information about its subscribers to unauthorized individuals. We are not responsible for actions taken by our subscribers that occur outside the jurisdiction of our game servers or web site.
     You will follow the instructions of authorized personnel while in the EVE Online game world or using the EVE Online web site.
     You may not violate any local, state, national or international laws or regulations.
     You may not impersonate or present yourself to be a representative of CCP or an EVE Online volunteer. You may not impersonate or falsely present yourself to be a representative of another player, group of players, character or NPC entity.
     

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Worthy advice for the career vermin who break this eula every day.

      Every gank that removes carebrar scum from our beloved game is to be applauded.

      And those who remain: pay your dues and accept James 315 into your heart. Or suffer the consequences.

      Delete
    2. Look out we have another internet space lawyer.

      Delete
    3. Calm down murder lovers

      Delete
    4. Praise Jesus.

      Delete
    5. @ Anon 6:53

      You are right those are the rules... Tell me where in the rules that running a protection Racket (Which this is) or suicide ganking is illegal. You can't can you.

      STFU and go back to WoW if you can't play with the big boys. While I don't prescribe to the Code. playstyle I realize It's a legitimate game play style and act accordingly. Its not that hard to avoid this.

      Yes ganks still happen and I can occasionally suffer that fate, but all one can do is limit the damage, learn from the mistake, and realize that losing ships is part of the game, no matter how you play.

      PRO TIP: Stop being bad and HTFU.

      Delete
  6. Prince ugly is not mad but has a lot to say anyway. I wonder what emotion he was feeling if it was indeed something other then anger.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Calm, something you murder lovers and pedophiles need to learn.

      Delete
  7. im just here to remind everyone that antiganking literally login to a game and use mummys credit card to watch code dunk miners/freighters/other carebears daily.

    how embarrassing to still be failing to stop code after so many years.

    never forget shardani.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be fair, I must note that antiganking is one of the few activities in EvE that can be done with a free alpha account with 100% efficiency.

      Delete
    2. anon 2:18 - I 100% agree. Anyone can just watch freighters blowing up on their face and fail non-stop daily XDXDXD

      Delete
  8. Well wolf one day you too can have your own credit card when mommy is tired of you killing people, or when you do like your buddy shardani and kill her like he did his kid.

    Now please murder lover calm down.

    ReplyDelete
  9. is it me or Code Always Wins?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Happy post-turkey apocalypse

    ReplyDelete

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