Saturday, November 18, 2017

The Mere Presence of an Agent

The Agents of the New Order are known for being powerful, but they're also known for the exceptional accuracy with which they wield their power. How do they always manage to destroy the guilty, and never the innocent? It's easier than you might think.


An Agent of the New Order--particularly if he is also a member of the mighty CODE. alliance--can trigger bot-aspirants into revealing themselves simply by appearing in local.


Upon noticing an Agent's name in local, the rebellious carebear cannot help but express his Goofusness in a fit of nervous excitement. It's similar to the mechanism by which the "name of James 315" litmus test functions.


...And sometimes you don't even need to say my name for the litmus test to work. A truly guilty carebear will bring it up all on his own.


Agent Aaaarrgg is one of the most famous--and most feared--elite PvP'ers in highsec. Wherever he goes, the carebears make fools of themselves in local, thereby unintentionally acting as his heralds.


Side note for new players: If fame and victory appeal to you, close the tutorial and check out the Code. A life of glory awaits.


Although rumors of my ban go all the way back to the earliest days of the Code, there's certainly been an uptick lately. It seems the Anti-Gankers have been relying ever more heavily on fake news.


Some blame the "James 315 is banned" rumors on an old click-baity Reddit post or an Eve Onion article from years ago. In fact, new versions of the rumor sprout all the time. For example, Jace O'durn believed that I was somehow banned when CCP took action against nullsec leader gigX a couple months ago. It's the manifestation of wishful thinking in its most deranged form.


Aaaarrgg didn't need to wait long until his presence in local triggered another not-a-miner with an inexplicable grudge against CODE.


...Which raises the question: Why would a non-carebear who hasn't lost anything to CODE. (on his main character, or alt, or friend's character, etc.) be so angry about CODE.? Thankfully, this question has been discussed in some detail in an eleven-part MinerBumping series.


One of the dumber features of highsec life is the "incursion" channel that pops up from time to time. Nevertheless, it provides another forum for the angry carebear to confess his non-compliance.


Aaaarrgg's presence in the incursion channel resulted in more confessions. Our hero took it all in stride. Our Agents are indefatigable.


It's no wonder that the New Order is so often thought of as a beacon of light. The roaches and rodents of highsec scatter at our approach.

34 comments:

  1. "lol ive never lost anything to CODE"
    "Except your dignity"

    Every ag shitter ever. Especially those that cry here.


    Always!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So why you cryin?

      Did those mean ole miners touch your toys or did they touch your no no spot?

      Its ok, the bad miners cant hurt you if you turn off the game lil criminal.

      Delete
    2. Your attempt to sound condescending failed shitter852.

      You are as incompetent out of game as you are at stopping CODE in game.

      Shitters always lose.


      Always!

      Delete
    3. So that means your a shitter, good to know criminal.

      Remember the law wins, ALWAYS!

      Delete
    4. Always!

      I command you to post more tears little johnny.

      Delete
  2. "wasnt he banned anyway"

    Can't tell if ag shitter attempt at satire, or just another ignorant PHag.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whoa watch that language you criminal.

      Delete
  3. let's see.... Gilligan Darkheart added to the list of people that I will gleefully help to become a better EVE player, through a process we call 'Enlightenment through Continued Application of Void'. Antimatter works well also.


    ReplyDelete
  4. You know you're part of a powerful, game-changing organization when random passers-by take 30 minutes out of their day to publicly discuss it. Gilligan was either motivated by a past loss or plain jealousy, so in any case we are doing an effective job. Praise James!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me did you need to memorize the five pillars of Islam to join James 315's terrorist organization or is that what they teach when your done playing space shoot em ups?

      Delete
  5. Gilligan's in-game failures and impotence seem to weigh heavily on the poor shit stain. Why else would he make such a spectacle of himself in local for everyone to see?

    Looks like he could give little johnnie cuckold a run for his money in a fill-the-bucket tears race.

    Both of those miners need to go back to wow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. " i have never lost anything to CODE."


    Except, my life and the life of my child.


    Never forget shardani.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I heard the kid's first words were "Praise Jamees".

      Always!

      Delete
    2. gawd dammed karma dawg! john pirtle is gonna throw a tantrum now.

      I loled!



      I think I know who johnny is, in game of course. I have seen someone crying in game that sounds exactly like him. I was debating sending a mail, just to chat a bit and maybe do an interview. Not sure I want to contact him though, he seems a bit violent. Not in words maybe as much as demeanor, and he may be too young to make a good story anyway. I mean he acts adolescent.

      But the butthurt is worth trying to get him on comms, right?

      Delete
    3. Who can forget your best agent and real life child killer, how did his actions pan out for your group by the way, ya know with him killing his kid and you guys always praising his actions.

      Oh right you say hes AG now but still praise his ass. Sad how your treat your spergy rage filled agents when they bring that hate out of game. Wow you guys eat your own, after they die of course because you don't want to fight them while they are alive that's against the code.

      Now criminals in training keep these activities in game ok, you don't want to cross the law and get imprisoned I doubt you guys would fare well in there.

      Remember the law wins, ALWAYS!

      Delete
    4. Lol more fail from triggered 844shitter.

      Nice tears miner. Keep raging and failing. There will always be room for your whine on this site, little johnnie failbot.

      Delete
    5. Lovely tears criminal, keep em coming and do not break the law like your friends did.

      The law wins, ALWAYS!

      Delete
    6. There is no "the law", just little johnnie being incompetent in game. He has to bring up RL situations because he is too weak to do anything in the game.

      So where was "the law" when your Retriever went pop? Oh yea, they waited until the gankers popped you, then arrived 12 to 15 seconds too late to save you. Looks like the in-game "law" doesn't want to help highsec miners either.

      What makes you think your "the law" will do anything about you visiting us on comms? And it's easy to set us up if you want, just join comms and then send in "the law" after we try to help you.

      What are you scared of john?

      Delete
    7. What country do you live in dear agent, because every country has laws, now if you bring your impotent rage out of game and hurt someone because your gaming skills are lacking that law will get you and lock you up.

      I'd ask you to stop acting stupid but I fear you at not be acting.

      Just remember the law wins, ALWAYS!

      Delete
  7. I would enjoy talking to that parrot on comms. Msg me on FB if you can get him to man up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh calm down Cryma, just keep your criminal activity limited to the game. We all know out of it your nothing, especially when compared to the law.

      Delete
    2. Lol 846 tirggered shitter.

      Karma was talking about contacting and Helping you, a chronic shitter, and all you can do is make impotent threats about "the law"?

      Maybe you can tell us exactly which agency of "the law" will be involved little johnny pedo? Oh so you don't have any authority, in game or out? That's exactly why we laugh at you when you make threats you cannot enforce. If you will notice, Agents follow througn on in-game application of the Code. Unlike mad shitters that can only make weak, laughable threats in these comments.

      Do something or not, but you crying about your inability to do anything at all will only end with our mocking you.

      Can you not do anything at all except cry here, little johnny shitstain? Anything at all? Have you never succeeded in game even once? Not even one single victory?

      You could if you were not such a frightened, powerless little loser IRL.

      Meh, you already knew all this though right? That's why you are forced to cry here. Gankers have effectively removed you from the game. You are too scared to even play in highsec anymore.

      Have you tried WoW? I hear tales of a 'guild' (in wow) founded by ex-EvE carebears that were too weak to survive New Eden. I bet they would love for you to join them, shitters-of-a-feather and all. You will find them on one of the non-pvp servers, trying to hide from consequences as weaklings often do.

      Calm down little johnny scaredycat.

      Delete
    3. That's a lot of tears, keep crying little criminal, the law will get you when you break it.

      Delete
  8. If "the law" is so powerful, why is little johnny such a scared little chicken shitter?

    All you need to do to defeat us is join comms and then send in "the law" when we break the rules.

    Well, what are you waiting on little johnny? Why are you too scared to join comms? Can words relly hurt you?

    All this bluster about "the law" and yet you refuse to utilize them to stop anything? Are you just a shitterbot after all?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The law is powerful, go out and break it some time and see what happens, of course that means getting off of your little space game to do so. If you dont that's ok we put enough of you little terrorists in jail anyway.

      Delete
  9. Hey little johnny, all Code has to do to make you cry is post stories here about others like you, exposing their rage and impotence.

    That's all that's needed to make you visit this site and fill a bucket with your tears.

    You will always lose this battle because of the one little flaw in your mentality. You cannot stand not having the last word. All I have to do to make you cry is post literally anything and then move on, you will be compelled to post more tears about fake news and "the law".

    Don't believe me?

    See you tomorrow then, little johnny pedo. I will post something tomorrow then move on, you will be stuck replying to every comment in the hopes that you will have the last word at me.

    Let's pull a few strings and see if this little johnny shitter puppet can dance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ok All I have to do is call you by what you are, a murder loving terrorist in training. Don't worry when you break down and decide to bring your little rage out of game the police will be waiting to haul your pathetic ass to jail.

      Delete
  10. What are you scared of johnny?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah Cryma come into reality and break the law lets see how much you enjoy it. Doubt you will leave your mommas tit and you space shooter game because whoa real world is scary.

      Law wins terrorists and murderers lose, that's the fact and you cant beat it.

      Keep crying bitches.

      Delete
  11. meh seems made up

    ReplyDelete
  12. "I'm not a miner" -high sec carebear ashamed of their own activities in a fictional online game

    ReplyDelete

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