Monday, August 19, 2013

The Best Possible Ambassadors

Given our strong, healthy relationship with the rest of the highsec community, you might be surprised to know that the New Order actually does not have any officially-designated diplomats. As I've often said, our Agents--the soldiers who faithfully serve on the frontline each and every day--are the best ambassadors we could possibly have.

Agent Ophidia Black encountered a troubled soul named Coolina mining in highsec in a Retriever named "SHOOT ME". Coolina thought it was better to be "cool", even if it meant her own death. Ophidia put that belief to the test.

As soon as Coolina's Retriever was dead, she started to get very un-cool.

Coolina unleashed her best "yo momma" jokes in local, for all to see. At the same time, she was convinced that it was "immature" to gank mining vessels.

The "yo momma" jokes didn't have the desired effect. Instead of encouraging her fellow miners to flock to the rebel banner, they started to turn against her.

Coolina doubled-down on her failed strategy, further driving a wedge between herself and the local mining community.

Meanwhile, Ophidia demonstrated the way to be truly cool in highsec--to follow the Code.

With her venom exhausted, Coolina settled into spouting some carebear clich├ęs. Coolina wasn't ready to join the New Order just yet, but Ophidia's quick thinking enabled her to lower the temperature in the system. Another victory for New Order diplomacy!

If you want to become an Agent of the New Order, you must learn how to deal with a wide variety of different kinds of people. Although all carebears are pretty much the same, they speak different languages. English is a good first choice. If you want to learn another language, I'd say go with Russian. We have a lot of inroads still left to make.

Ophidia and friends killed Sasha Vladivostok's heavily-tanked Mackinaw. A tank is only as good as its lowest resistance, however; Sasha's had a big ol' gaping hole in the "mining permit" category. He was defenseless. Sasha sent Ophidia an ominous warning in lieu of the customary 10 million isk payment.

After Ophidia requested clarification, Sasha provided it:

Just because highsec carebears are defenseless doesn't mean they'll admit it. Sasha spun an elaborate series of traditional Russian bluffs involving pig-cutting. I know some people like their bacon, but this was ridiculous. It was up to Ophidia to defuse the situation and educate young Sasha about the Code.

Reaching across the cultural divide is hard, slow work. Miracles don't happen every day. But the New Order isn't here for a day. We're in this thing for the long haul. Don't be surprised if one day you see an Agent Coolina or an Agent Sasha Vladivostok helping enforce the Code in an asteroid belt near you!


  1. Replies
    1. Indeed, to this date he has still not bought his mining permit :(


  2. Coolina has to be the most uncool name I have ever seen.

  3. If I see an Agent Coolina I'll eat my sombrero

  4. It seems we Russians have to aid James 315 and the New Order to bring the Code to the uneducated Russian and EU massess

  5. If High Sec is in fact New Order territory, agents are not diplomats -diplomats are for relations with foreign states. So either High Sec *isn't* New Order territory, or agents are just "government" officials... which would fit quite well, because as we all know the most frightening words in the English language are "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help." The New Order's "help" is certainly the kind most could do without... damn tough-love-mineral-supply-managing-nanny-state-pinkos!

    1. You fail to realize that the rebels are an opposing faction, regardless of who owns the space.

      Also, You have directed the "Pinko" slur at the wrong group of people. It is the miners who act like leftists, asking the state (CCP) to change the rules for them, asserting that their own misery is somehow the fault of other "bad" people. In contrast, the New Order is a beacon of hope spreading the gospel of self reliance and accepting responsibility for one's own condition, that leads to the path of self improvement and social mobility. These ideas are the backbone of Western democratic societies.

      The New Order has simply found that those who find fault with the code are not thinking rationally, and therefore cannot be communicated with effectively through rational discussion. Consequently, the New Order communicates with the miners using a language that they are more likely to understand.

    2. Anon 2:26, you wrote a masterpiece. So much truth and real talk in so few's overwhelming, like poetry. The New Order attracts the best minds out there, you have my applause.

  6. anon 3:26 i disagree. Both goons and minerbumping are socialist/communist inspired groupings. They act for the group and give the newer guy a leg up. It is the miners who are every man for themselves don't care about anyone capitalists.
    james has done everything in his power to provide logistics and ships to his followers. Nothing is more socialist and it makes a paradise from the hell that highsec was.
    Dr Limbu

  7. Anon 10:12 has the meat of it. It is the miners who are the true capitalists here; they are the ones pulling themselves up by their bootstraps, earning their way through Eve via a slavish devotion to the often mindnumbing tedium of mining. (Miners could even be said to be downright American - It is a truism that citizens of that bastion of capitalism, the USA, work too much for their own good, compared to those “socialist” Europeans and their work-life balance). By petitioning the CCP, the miners are simply demanding that Concord get off its ass, and protect its citizens with greater alacrity. For the typical ultra-capitalist, security, along with enforcement of the law, is the primary role of the state.

    By contrast the New Order is very much a socialist organization. James 315’s complaint that High Sec is too low risk given the rewards, and his demands that CCP fix this scenario is in keeping with a socialist interventionist agenda. A real capitalist/ free market economist would say, that the situation would naturally correct itself. As more people move to high sec and become miners, the more the price of metals/ice would drop, further reducing the incentive to move to high sec in the first place. It is even arguable that Minerbumping, by increasing the risk in high sec, is helping to slow this process, by keeping the prices artificially high, and therefore maintaining the incentive to mine in high sec.

    But I digress, the New Order’s other mission: to “help” miners who can’t help themselves to become “better” members of Eve Society, is most certainly in keeping with the “we know better than you” “nanny-state” attitude.

    Finally, there’s the fact that the New Order functions as a kind of collective logistics and support operation. It’s almost a union – collecting voluntary contributions and redistributing this wealth to aid “out of ship” agents. The redistribution of wealth is the hallmark of a socialist state, and no one is more guilty of that than James 315.

    Whether New Order being a socialist organization is a good thing or not is up to you, but it’s most definitely not “capitalist.”

    of course... all of this elaborate debate/discussion goes out the window if you point out that the New Order is a really just a fun rationalization for ganking people.


Note: If you are unable to post a comment, try enabling the "allow third-party cookies" option on your browser.