Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Community Spotlight: Handaki the Handbreaker

I often say that I want to educate the highsec community. One of the other main reasons for MinerBumping's existence is that I want to educate everyone else about the highsec community. The flashy nullsec alliances have spokesmen and "state of the alliance" speeches and propaganda press releases. The highsec community exists in the shadows. The carebears are mute. It's up to the New Order to give them a voice.

Today, courtesy of Agent Ophidia Black, I'd like to introduce you to one of the many charming gentlemen who mine in highsec. Meet handaki, affectionately known as "the Handbreaker".

So that's how he earned his nickname.

I looked up handaki's lossmail. It was a standard yield-fit Hulk worth just over a quarter billion isk. No big deal.

Ouch. To ensure that their message is received, New Order Agents always go the extra mile and pod their targets, if at all possible. In handaki's case, it was very possible, and he lost an additional 1.2 billion isk, just like that. Despite the hand-breaking threat, Ophidia was honour-bound to send handaki the customary "termination notice" EVEmail with helpful information about the Code.

handaki made a full confession. He was asleep at the keyboard, mentally AFK and therefore in violation of the Code. If his EVEmail reply ended there, it would be a nice little pile of carebear tears. But handaki's confession didn't end there. Behold:

Mr. Handbreaker actually petitioned himself! That's just as well, I suppose. I don't know why so many highsec miners are quitting lately, but I haven't yet seen any quitters I wouldn't be willing to part with. Scratch one more bot-aspirant!


  1. Gold, pure gold I tell you !!

    - Guybertini

  2. reminds me of the scene in liar liar when jim carrey is beating himself up in the bathroom.
    "im kicking my ass, DO YOU MIND?"
    poor guy, wanting to meet up and do realistic harm for losing in-game currency, from an internet spaceships game.
    fyi - handaki, pixels arent worth jail time. you think getting your ship ganked is bad, wait til its your asshole, in jail.

  3. handaki shouldn't be allowed in public without a custodian. I'm glad he's gone. Other than the tears, he won't be missed and Eve is better without him.

  4. The Spirit of New EveAugust 27, 2013 at 8:35 PM

    Although I'm not a big fan of the NO (although I can't stop reading the blog lol) ... Handjob is WAY out of line with RL threats ... no sympathy for him whatsoever after that obscenr outburst of his!
    Rennseslear sums it up well!

  5. The Spirit of New EveAugust 27, 2013 at 8:40 PM

    As an aside, I can just imagine Handjob stomping around RL going up to random people and snarling at them "Are you Ophidia Black fom The New Order?!" LOL

    1. Tehehe.

      This made me snort!

      I ruff yew all! *^_^*

  6. Those who threaten violence in RL are often the least capable of inflicting it. handaki, "if we ever run into each other in the real world don't ever let [us] know who you are because" we will just laugh at you.

  7. This is all that remains of a person after their very soul has been sapped away by bot-aspirancy. Not a pretty picture.

    1. Yeah, it's ugly...they have to be saved from themselves with the use of force, but they will be thankful after they're brought back in the realm of humans.

  8. I'm glad for Handaki that he wants to quit, he has serious problems to sort out before being able to be part of an online community.

  9. look out this guy has 'resources'.

    1. Probably graduated top of his class in navy seals and is an expert in gorilla warfare.


    2. Does google count as a "resource"? While reading this I kept getting the image of a guy in starbucks smashing his hand in a notebook.

  10. Although I disagree with Handaki's threats of RL action, the real problem here is that you asshats won't accept that you are pissing away peoples REAL LIFE TIME!

    Think if you have a snack you rather enjoy. It's not integral to your life, but it is integral to 1 part of your happiness via the enjoyment of it. But then someone does something to ruin it. Like every time you go to take a bite they slap it out of your mouth.

    This is effectively exactly what you're doing in Eve. You are telling people "You can't mine that way" and slapping their ship out from under them. Now you wonder why so many miners are saying "Fuck this!" and quitting? They're quitting because they don't want to pay $15 a month to be picked on by school yard bullies with inferiority complexes.

    1. First off it's a game, that was pretty clear from the get go, that as soon as you un-dock you are not safe. "hey don't want to pay $15 a month to be picked on by school yard bullies" so they want to pay $15 a month to click the mouse every 15mins than go back to watching youtube or TV? Along the same lines, they invest all that time to play and build up a nice ship and than leave it in open space open for attack did they really care about their investment? My main is in a mining corp, first rule we tell new people, falling a sleep in open space no matter where you are will get you killed, same as afk. If the order does not do it, others will log in alts and gank you, as you put every one at risk.

    2. When I mine and sell the ore the ISK I make is reduced by the AFK miners. Does that mean that AFK miners bully me by reducing how much my time is worth BJ?

    3. Pretty poor analogy with the snack, unless the snack occasionally has a bitter and unsavory taste that you don't enjoy, in which case you are either eating the wrong snack or you have learned to enjoy the snack for what it is.

    4. ... you have to learn* to enjoy...

    5. Branden does have a point. I get so pissed off in Call of Duty when someone head shots me. I'm just walking around trying to get a kill or two and these S.O.B.s keep killing me. Then they call me n00b and question my sexuality. I hate those guys and want to kill them IRL.. oh wait, no I don't, because its a game. A competitive game against other players like Eve. If you want a game where you can relax and play how you like, try Euro Truck Simulator. Or any of the other MMOs that don't allow PvP except in PvP areas. Seems simple enough.

    6. They're quitting because they don't want to pay $15 a month to be picked on by school yard bullies with inferiority complexes.

      Then they need to find a non-pvp game to play. EvE originally stood for Everybody vs Everybody while in beta-test. It is supposed to be a dark and violent little universe.

      Highsec is NOT safe.

      If someone cannot handle getting their player ganked in a PvP game, then they need to play something else. Getting mad about getting ganked is like getting mad about getting your tank shot up in World of Tanks ... and action that also costs you lost time.

    7. Im so glad BJ is here to keep the presence of people with obvious brain trauma that try to condescend to others represented!
      You claim that people ACTUALLY PLAYING THE GAME are the asshats, and the people who pay to let a game run in the background are the ones in the right???
      Lets say someone has a ONE YEAR SUPPLY of your favorite snack, and they ask that you ONLY pay for how much you can eat in 2 hours. Then you can eat your gluttonous (i dont know if thats actually a word, but it sounds right) heart out for the next 8,758 hours. If that sounds anything but reasonable, perhaps i need to try diving into an empty pool headfirst so i can see things from your point of view.
      If someone quits because they lost something that they WERENT AROUND TO SEE BEING LOST, good riddance. Quitting because your internet spaceship got blown up in an INTERNET SPACESHIP WAR GAME sounds like the least questionable decision in an obviously lackluster life.
      Whos the one with the inferiority complex now?

    8. Branden Jensen: "...the real problem here is that you asshats won't accept that you are pissing away peoples REAL LIFE TIME!"

      Real life time that he valued so much he spent it sleeping.

    9. Everywhere I look I see people who feel bad and point fingers all over the place at things that are at fault. They never point fingers back at themselves where the fault usually lies.
      This Branden character is a prime example of this poor attitude. Feeling bad is never the persons' fault who feels bad.

      God forbid people do a moral inventory. Thankfully, the code promotes these.

  11. Since when is falling a sleep at the keyboard exempt you from getting podded? Can't want till I can start collecting tears like this.

  12. The NO are great.

    I've been building up my small mining bot outfit for quite a while and have 28 scattered through high-sec now. NO have destroyed my ships only 3 times. When they realize they killed bots they don't bother again as they prefer tears from players.

    Best thing is, I was going to have to move out of a system as the belts were all depleted quite a few hours before down-time. But the NO ganked a load of real miners in one of my systems and caused them to move out. I now have 4 bots in that system farming away right up to downtime every day. I didn't have to relocate (would've been a pain due to refining).

    Thanks NO, keep up the good work!

    1. That was a nice little story, trolls are getting more creative.

      But for the people who bot for real: accumulating wealth just to losing it all because of a ban is not worth it. And stop ruining the game.

    2. Love how stuff you don't want to believe means it's a troll.

      P.S if you're smart, running a botting outfit is zero risk to your main accounts.

      P.P.S it doesn't ruin the game for anyone. Going by the tears posted here, NO probably do ruin the game for some people though!

    3. People ruin the game for themselves with the piss-poor attitudes exemplified by "The Handbreaker". Raging like that over pixels is a sure sign of deeper issues that have nothing to do with games.

    4. Do you really think that a smart person should believe what a random dude over the internet brags about? It's very safe to assume you just want to troll the New Order.

      If what you said were true, you would just stay silent and enjoy your exploit. Instead, you brag about it. That's the first sign of bullshit.

      The New Order doesn't ruin the game because they play it as intended. They make the game richer with more opportunities and adventures, in the way the creators of the game envisioned. But I don't expect you to understand it.

      Botting, however, does ruin the game. If you bot you break the rules, and for a reason. You ruin the economy and gain an unfair advantage. It's exactly like playing an FPS with an aimbot. On top of that, bragging about it (something that breaks the game for the legit players) sounds like what an ignorant 10 years old would do.

      So, you claim to be a botter and you don't get the NO. I guess it's no surprise the two things go well together.

    5. Oh dear AnonymousAugust 28, 2013 at 2:23 PM

      Firstly, you're resorting to personal insults and making things up. It appears that you've done this as you have no valid argument or point to make...

      Secondly, I'm not bragging. If I were, I'd be telling you how much ISK I make every week. But I'm not going to tell you that as you'll be crying even more. It's difficult to know why you believe I am bragging seeing as you didn't qualify it any way. It looks as though you just made it up so you could attack me. How sad.

      Secondly, I never did say NO ruin the game. I'm fairly sure most people understand the difference between what I said:
      "... Going by the tears posted here, NO probably do ruin the game for some people though!" and what you wrote:
      "The New Order doesn't ruin the game because they play it as intended."
      This is simple for even basic speakers of English to read and comprehend. If you can't comprehend the difference, please go away, get educated and then return with some valid and relevant points. Distorting what people have clearly written in order to attack them is again really sad of you.

      Thirdly, I fully get what NO do and I have ganked miners who have annoyed me or been rude to me in the past. I've even considered having an alt join them but I don't need to as I can do what i want without them. I'm most pleased, as I have already indicated, that NO are a part of EvE. But yet again you go making things up with which you can attack me with. Unfortunately, all you've done is highlight your own ignorance and your lack of any coherent reasoning.

      Fourthly, mining bots replace the monotonous boredom of mining that the whole of EvE relies upon. They help provide the materials that allow the more fun aspects (according to most EvE players that is) in EvE to occur. e.g. exploding spaceships. Your inability to see this and your decision to not quantify your claim that I (and by association, mining bots) "ruin the economy" is yet more evidence that your whole post is nothing but utter rubbish and vitriol.

    6. "Fourthly, mining bots replace the monotonous boredom of mining that the whole of EvE relies upon. They help provide the materials that allow the more fun aspects"

      Highsec miners are not needed for materials. That's an illusion they have. If every highsec miner stopped mining right now, things would be better for the economy. You don't even imagine how much ores are stored for the future by corporations and individuals. On top of that, less bot-like miners would start mining to get a slice of the new possibilities of mining income.

      Also, If you want to bot you can do it until you get caught. But please don't convince yourself it's a good thing. You don't have a right to bot just because mining is boring. If you don't like mining, do something else instead of cheating the EVE ecosystem. I hope you get caught soon and lose all the ISK you made. No respect for botters.

    7. So you're now changing tack and trying to keep it to highsec miners now??? You seriously have no clue at all. There is an abundance of data around that shows how much bull shit you are spouting.

      e.g. http://cdn1.eveonline.com/www/newssystem/media/63999/1/Mined_Volume_2.png

      It is currently too soon to say how Odyssey has affected this. Either way though, you're communicating from your rear orifice.

      As for botting until you get caught. lmao. I'll let you continue in your ignorance.

  13. Priceless!!!

    The Essence of Carebear Tears.


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