Tuesday, January 13, 2015

There's Always an Excuse

Every miner has an excuse for AFK mining. Sometimes they're mundane excuses, like "I was in the bathroom" or "I was asleep" or "I was putting my child to bed." Other carebears offer more exotic reasons, such as "I was helping my neighbor fix his plumbing" or "My blood sugar's getting low and I could go into a diabetic coma."

(Long-time readers of MinerBumping know, sadly, that I'm not making these excuses up; carebears have field-tested all of them.)

It's interesting to consider that these real-life reasons for leaving the keyboard only affect players in highsec. You've never heard of someone losing a nullsec fleet battle because their fleet commander had a real-life emergency. Life only interferes with highsec dwellers, it seems.

Lately, as the New Order has tightened its control over more and more systems, the carebears have grown increasingly creative. Aaron Dontera, for instance, explained that he uses autopilot and goes AFK without a permit because he only has one hand. If any readers can follow that logic, let me know.

In some cases, the invasion of one's country might lead directly to AFK mining. To the carebear, all roads lead to bot-aspirancy.

Agent Chocolate Mooses sent me a report about one of the most baffling excuses for AFK mining I've yet seen. The name of the miner in question has been withheld, for reasons which will become clear in a moment.
Chocolate Mooses > GF mate
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > nice suicide
Chocolate Mooses > lol thanks
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > but one problem
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > you guys owe me 200mill
Chocolate Mooses > Why is that?
Everything started out fine, at first. The miner even congratulated our Agents on their gank, as the Code requires. But something was different about this miner. For some reason, he was very confident that he would be reimbursed for his Mackinaw loss.
Chocolate Mooses > You were stealing ice from james315
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > okay then i will talk to the ceo about it
Chocolate Mooses > Please do, want me to invite him to chat now?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > sure
Chocolate Mooses > xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx This is my CEO, loyalanon
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 0/
loyalanon > Hello
The reimbursement petition was appealed to the CEO of The Conference Elite, a fine young gentleman and PvP legend, Agent loyalanon. He would set things right.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > Hey loyal yo corp mates performed a nice suicide kill which will look good on you KB
loyalanon > Ok
loyalanon > and what is the problem
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > but i need my 200 mill back
loyalanon > ok and what makes you think you qualify for reimbursement?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > because this toon is named after my fiancee that died in a carcrash 3 years ago
Suddenly, the miner revealed the justification for his reimbursement request. Our Agents were caught off-guard, to say the least.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > actually you can search google
loyalanon > can you link me something
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n= [remainder of URL omitted]
Chocolate Mooses > I'm so sorry to hear about your RL loss, Shev :(
loyalanon > So what does your character name have to do with us?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > well anyone that pods her i always ask first before excalateing
The miner linked an online obituary. Sure enough, the deceased individual had the same first, middle, and last name as the miner's character name, and had passed away about three years earlier.
loyalanon > Im not sure I understand this correctly
loyalanon > you want us to reimburse you because of your characters name?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > @loyal YES
Chocolate Mooses > Personally, I am sorry to hear about anyone's RL loss.
loyalanon > but you died in honourable pvp
Chocolate Mooses > Yes, it was a fair fight and there was no way we could know about these obvious outstanding issues.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > I understand loyal but in this case you need to make an exception
In a bizarre twist, the miner believed that the character name of his Mackinaw pilot entitled him to absolute immunity from suicide ganks in highsec.
loyalanon > you did not have a mining permit and were found illegally mining in James 315 territory
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > You cant possibly think eve will just let you suicide folks and have no escalation?
loyalanon > are you threatening us?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > If James contacted me then mabye this would be a different conversation
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > too bad hes offline
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > since your corp is responsible then I will hold you accountable
If the ganker's corp, The Conference Elite, did not reimburse the miner, he threatened to escalate things. But how?
loyalanon > Well please let me know how you imagine this is going to work out
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > how about me killing 100 of your ships or 5 billion worth
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > and i will also contact James as well
The miner served up another startling revelation: Though he'd spent at least the last three years mining in highsec, he was actually a PvP'er himself. If he did not get satisfaction, he would kill one hundred New Order vessels, for a total loss of approximately 5 billion isk. (The average gank Catalyst costs 50 million isk, apparently.)
Chocolate Mooses > James is a really good guy.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > give him a copy of this conversation
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > cant wait to meet him
loyalanon > dont forget a mining permit
loyalanon > before operating in ALL James 315 territory again
Chocolate Mooses > I can get you a permit now, it will help if you plan on talking to James.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > lol after im finished with you guys i will have a free lifetime permit
Our Agents, having much experience with such threats, advised the miner to buy a permit instead. But the miner was too confident in his combat abilities.
loyalanon > were you also seeking reimbursement for the capsule?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > oh shit i forgot about the imp[lants
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > so its 700 mill you owe me now
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > or 8 billion worth of ships
Chocolate Mooses > Did you not find the obvious scout sitting @ 0 meters from you as something that should be a warning sign?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > no im running like 5 toons at once
In a display of typical New Order honesty and integrity, loyalanon reminded the miner that he'd also lost a pod worth around half a billion isk. The miner repaid this kindness by increasing the size of his threat. He also admitted that he was multiboxing miners. He didn't say if they were all immune from ganking, though.
Chocolate Mooses > no one said EVE was safe
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > not compared to the pain you guys will receive
Chocolate Mooses > Tell me about this pain?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > okay i will make a deal
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 500 mill
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > thats my final offer
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > trust me there is no empty threat here
Eager to get at least the majority of his money back, the miner lowered his offer from 700 million to 500 million isk. Either the money would be paid, or he would exact 8 billion isk worth of revenge. As always, the miner--despite his earlier fixation on character names--focused everything on money money money, isk isk isk.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > okay you have 60 sec to agree to my 500 mill
loyalanon > when did the timer start?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 45 sec
loyalanon > from now or from when you first gave me 60 seconds?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 30 sec
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 15 sec
Then came a countdown timer. Unlike previous countdown timers from existential highsec threats like Mine Teck, this one ticked down in real time. Our Agents had to scramble to find the cash.
Chocolate Mooses > Can we start over?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 5
Chocolate Mooses > Give us a min man
loyalanon > wait wait wait lets discuss this again
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 4
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 3
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 2
Chocolate Mooses > we're trying to find the money
In fact, our Agents were stalling for time, just like every single person who ever was told to pay a ransom.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 1
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > 0
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > !!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > Bravo
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > thisn will be alot of fun
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx > you gentlemen have a nice day
Having failed to pay the ransom, our Agents had no choice but to prepare themselves for war. This is what highsec honour requires. And as we wait for the miner to launch his campaign of destruction against the New Order, I'd like to remind everyone of the following:

New Order mining permits are good for one year, they're valid in all highsec systems, and they cost only 10 million isk--just as they always have. If anyone has a legitimate reason for not purchasing one, I've yet to hear it.


  1. I may be willing to arrange sponsorship of a free mining permit if xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx would like to speak about it on Teamspeak and perform a series of tasks. Perhaps, with a good performance, he could even achieve the reimbursement he seeks.

    1. As long as he has complete faith in James 315, the Code, and you, I'm sure he'll succeed.

  2. A legitimate reason for not owning a New Order mining permit,
    It's like trying to find freshwater while being adrift in the ocean.
    So many reasons that look like the real thing.. but are defeated upon testing..
    there's got to be one out there

    1. I can think of many reasons, to start with, the new order is not a legitimate government, it is a pirate oraganization...

    2. Just as legitimate as the united states govt back in 1776

  3. The only reason to not own anew order permit is if you live and operate outside of new order territory. If you are a nullsec resident a wormholer or a flashy -10 you can still support the new order by purchasing shares, even if a permit is of no use.

    1. Wrong. Null dwellers should buy high sec permits because there always exists the CHANCE that they could go to highsec.

      Think of it as getting a license to drive BEFORE you buy a car. It's just a good idea to be familiar with the rules and what is expected out there prior to diving in face first.

  4. Can we please declassify the name of this character so that we can help him proceed with his plans for vengeance?

    1. His name was Robert Paulson.

    2. Unfortunately, you can figure it out. There are enough clues that the Saviour left that careful readers can piece it together. First thing we need to black out is that date.

    3. Even without the date, you can get it by finding a gank on a mackinaw that involves all the pilots involved, and the pod shortly after. Zombiepilot doesn't have enough Mackinaw kills on characters with 3 words in their name to mask anything.

  5. I'm just hoping his fiance wasn't Jennifer En Marland.

  6. I got some really good excuse once for AFK: "I was Alt-tabbed on my browser reading minerbumping.com"

    1. minerbumping.com is perfectly readable using the in-game browser!

    2. That's beautiful.

    3. That's a pretty clever excuse, and probably the closest to a hit that we're gonna find.

      Unfortunately, "Reading the Code" is not an excuse for "Violating the Code," as much as it makes me laugh.

  7. I read two obits, one nearly TL;DR, and no mention of a fiance among the survivors. Just like a filthy rebel miner to involve a dead woman in his lies!

    1. No, I read the correct obit. There indeed is a dead woman, I saw it. I correctly identified the woman through hints left in this article. I just hope that the Saviour re-reads the article carefully and sees how others could trace her identity.

    2. Well, whether he will do it or not is irrelevant now: the damage is done. Besides, if he had not made that slip, a keen observer would have been able to determine the name anyway. It would have been just a matter of time spent on the research.

    3. Oh, and, by the way, time stamps can be misleading from time to time. In my mailbox, I have the drafts of two stories waiting to be sent to James. One of the adventures in question took place back in September.

      But this is definitely not the case as far as Agent Mooses is concerned, I am confident, him being a far more diligent Agent than I could ever hope to be.

    4. Ming Tso,
      You are misunderstanding me. I didn't say there isn't a dead woman, I said there isn't a fiancé mentioned in her obits. The miner claimed to be her fiancé. Ergo, he is lying about being the fiancé of this dead woman.

    5. Ming Tso said:
      "I just hope that the Saviour re-reads the article carefully and sees how others could trace her identity."


    6. I don't care about the obituary. The loss of his significant other is tragic - no dispute there. He shouldn't try to bring it into the game, but unfortunately he did that from the moment he chose his character name.

      All that concerns me now is making sure he doesn't inflict 8 bil in damages to the New Order - in other words, playing the game.

  8. "You've never heard of someone losing a nullsec fleet battle because their fleet commander had a real-life emergency. "

    Incorrect You just haven't been on comms in a nullsec roam when the FC gets struck down by "Wife Aggro" - It's worse than incursion rats or a pipe bomb on a Frig fleet.

  9. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieJanuary 14, 2015 at 1:38 AM

    Agreed. Its too bad you weren't here for this one. I think you would have handled it in a very humane and calm way. Chocolate mooses did a good job in your stead.

  10. wow did not expect this one to make the front page of the blog!!!

    thanks to my wonderful ceo and our goonswarm overlords for making this possible

  11. I just don't understand why these miners don't fess up and buy a very cheap permit and then move on mining in peace. Why the stories, the lies, the empty threats? How does that help the miner play the game better?

    1. I am beginning to think that they are doing it all intentionally to get put on this web site for a quick burst of 'fame' :P

    2. And better yet, where are all these supposed stories of miners with permits getting ganked? Certainly, if the New Order did not honour our permits, we would see posts from carebears proving their purchase of permit and timestamped chatlogs proving they weren't AFK at an Agent's request. But to date, I have never seen a miner produce this evidence.

  12. Not showing the kill ... Blocking the name of the person by XXXX

    Looks fabricated

    1. Or you could spend less than 5 minutes researching the interwebs and find the kill.

      Just because you are lazy or incompetent does not mean something is fake.

    2. "Looks fabricated" is an entirely subjective evaluation.

      Thankfully the truth, much like The Code, always shines through in the end; it can be seen by any observer with even a modicum of competence that the podkill was legit.

  13. Just more code sociopathy...you people truly are sick in the head.

    1. People aren't paying enough attention to me. And slowly but surely, I'm finding that mining red crosses to buy bing with which to mine red crosses with which to buy bling with which to mine red crosses[...], etc, is unsatisfying. So this is me trying to have social interaction! I'm pretty bad at it, what with how damaged I am from the endless cycles of bot-aspirancy and greed, but I'm trying!

      So enough about this "code" nonsense, which is illegal because it's not about making money. Let's talk about me instead!

    2. What is sick is the miner that brought the deceased into it.

    3. True the only crime in Eve is the crime of bot-aspirancy, everything else is using in game mechanics. Veers you will only ever continue the red cross cycle until the game bores you to death.

    4. I beg to differ. Sociopaths don't enjoy what they do. I'm having a ball.

  14. Okay?

    I'm better than 'okay'. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAA


  15. BeBopareBop RhubarbPieJanuary 14, 2015 at 5:44 PM

    Mystery name is revealed. Pilot's name is Sheveralyn Shevy Fujimoto. Check URL below.

    1. Why would you post this?

    2. Not sure on why you would need to post this

  16. It was probably this kill https://zkillboard.com/kill/43861712/
    plus capsule

    the only mackinaw + capsule kill of mooses last days zombiepilot hasnt any kills in january

    Character Name of the victim: Helios Enmar

    Why the hell now victims are blackened

    1. 3 issues with your assumption. The article states the character has 3 words in their name, and Zombiepilot isn't on either of them.

      The EVE-mail was also sent on the 16th of December.

    2. Literally, right fucking literally above your post. "Pilot's name is Sheveralyn Shevy Fujimoto." Seriously.

      Are the kills

  17. why the name is hidden in orginal post?????????????

    1. Holy shit, is this the average minerbumping.com reader´s brain capacity?

    2. The average Minerbumping.com reader's brain capacity is lower than most due to the high influx of carebears who come in prepared to whine.

    3. I am the guy that was playing with Shevy. She meant more to me then you can imagine. I have been playing EVE for a very long time have several accounts, and billions of ISK.

      Anybody that pods her will get a war dec if her kill is not reimbursed for losses. I have deced several corps and have KB to prove it!

      Now I will take that a bit further, if anybody else in EVE plays with the name of a loved one that has since passed on to the other side, if that toon gets podded I will pay for the war dec up to 1 billion worth of kills. I would need some sort of proof, but this is a legit deal.

      Just contact me in game Sheveralyn Shevy Fujimoto.

      0/ Fly Safe

  18. Veers is a one man Miner Bingo bonanza. I have bingo cards being mass produced in a Guatemalan sweatshop just to keep pace with his raging impotence.

  19. I am the guy that was playing with Shevy. She meant more to me then you can imagine. I have been playing EVE for a very long time have several accounts, and billions of ISK.

    Anybody that pods her will get a war dec if her kill is not reimbursed for losses. I have deced several corps and have KB to prove it!

    Now I will take that a bit further, if anybody else in EVE plays with the name of a loved one that has since passed on to the other side, if that toon gets podded I will pay for the war dec up to 1 billion worth of kills. I would need some sort of proof, but this is a legit deal.

    Just contact me in game Sheveralyn Shevy Fujimoto.

    0/ Fly Safe


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