Monday, February 1, 2016

Grumpy Old Newbies, Part 1

Zopiclone is an Agent on a mission. Her primary goal is to enforce the Code. Her secondary goal is to make Verge Vendor the coolest region in highsec. The two objectives are in perfect harmony with each other.


Zopiclone terminated a Retriever piloted by a bot-aspirant named Lu'Inda. The ship was totally out of fashion in the new, stylish Verge Vendor of today. Let's be honest--there aren't many fits that call for 'Citadella' 100mm Steel Plates.


Lu'Inda had an excuse for her fail-fit ship. She was just a newbie who didn't know any better. And Zopiclone was raiding a newbie system!


Actually, it was a 0.6 system, which is exactly where you'd expect to see elite PvP.


Zopiclone tried to teach the new player about some of the basics of EVE. She wasn't interested in the basics. Lu'Inda was turning out to be a very difficult pupil.


While passing through the system, EVE University member Lachlan Aristov stumbled across the argument taking place in local. He encouraged the miner and gave her some good advice. Looks like the EVE University curriculum has gotten more advanced these days.


As you have probably guessed by now, Lu'Inda wasn't really a newbie. In fact, her character was over eight years old. Perhaps a new player bought the character recently. But that only raises more questions. Why would someone need to buy an old, high-SP character to mine in highsec? You can mine in highsec with a new character. It's cheaper, too.


New or extremely old, Lu'Inda had some cash to spare. And by spare, I mean waste.


Lachlan was full of practical information about the game, but Lu'Inda wouldn't listen. She accused Zopiclone of log running. I don't know what that is, but I'm pretty sure lions don't log run.


Next, the miner tried to deny her bot-aspirancy. As usual, our Agent had all the evidence she needed to prove the miner's guilt.


The New Order has an exceptionally high clearance rate. It helps that the miners almost always confess.


Lu'Inda admitted to additional crimes: She was teaching her son to mine illegally! I guess bot-aspirancy is the family business.


Zopiclone was amazed to see an eight-year veteran of EVE behaving in such an undignified manner. Was this merely an aberration, or was it the sign of something even more sinister?

To be continued...

32 comments:

  1. The CODE always wins... ALWAYS!

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  2. Yet another crybear that needs euthanized . Good job Agent, not a moment too soon.

    Never not kill all miners. Always!

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  3. I'm not sure, unless EvE has changed a lot since the last time I played that 0.6 space is where the Elite pvp'ers hang, but who knows, maybe. GF/GL

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    1. Sir, your question is valid. If you lived in 0.6 before the code then you are correct. However these days the code has jurisdiction in all space 0.5 to 1.0 elite pvp may happen anywhere now.

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    2. yeah, there was no Code when I flew it was back in the days when Goons were still proud of their noob ships. Of course my merc corp was often complained about on how unfair we fought. We figured if we fought fair battles we didn't do a good enough job planning them. If I reactivated my account I probably still have a Kestrel loaded with cruise missile launchers, even after the patch I always kept that one, seemed cool to have to me.

      ~~~~)\~~~0/~~~/(~~~~~

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    3. your post makes me think you were in FRICK back in the day

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    4. Listening to Charity Regard and talk about raiding other Corps for their panties, :)

      before Alliances existed and it was just us and BDCI, then later NSN and TC. I was getting nostalgic and went to the boards to see what's going on, saw that MC was alive again with BDCI leading it, it seems and then there was something about the CODE and High Sec and I wandered over here.

      ~~~~~)\~~~~~~~~~\0/~~~~~~~~~~~

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  4. Lachlan Aristov.

    This man is the model hisec dweller. If CODE. continues its work, hopefully in time we can see many more of these fine honest people. Superb advice, indeed if any miner wishes to mine outside the code then they should leave code jurisdiction, however the environment of nullsec itself is poison to bot aspirancy, just as the code is in hisec.

    Praise be to James 315

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  5. Log running is pretty popular among the navy seals as I understand it, perhaps he just got code agents mixed up with the navy seals? They are both quite elite as I understand it.

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  6. Lachlan Aristov.

    This man is the model hisec dweller. If CODE. continues its work, hopefully in time we can see many more of these fine honest people. Superb advice, indeed if any miner wishes to mine outside the code then they should leave code jurisdiction, however the environment of nullsec itself is poison to bot aspirancy, just as the code is in hisec.

    Praise be to James 315

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  7. Log running: http://i.imgur.com/W3KvbEr.jpg

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  8. ahaha! http://oi67.tinypic.com/2sb3kgo.jpg

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  9. I don't always look for Elite PvP, but when I do, I look for it in 0.6 space.

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  10. Elite pvp in high sec? where is the record breaking fights happen that make new headlines? Where is the destiny of empires and emperors of eve forged and broken? Where has every great war in eve ever been. I don't think high sec is the place. Glad you guys are having fun but but your no nc., pL or goons.

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    1. @Anon 2:02

      The reason that there have never been any of the "massive scale" fights that you reference in James 315 space is because of two reasons:

      1.) CONCORD

      and

      2.) The New Order winning every fight it takes so decisively.

      I'm certain that if it were possible for the New Order to lose, that our opponents wouldn't be so demoralized and failing, like Anti-Ganking is doing Daily.

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    2. Ming you flew with waffles and other low sec/null sec groups do you truly believe that code is better or more elite then them?

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    3. @Anon4:08

      WAFFLES. and the other lowsec/nullsec groups are just that: Lowsec and nullsec groups. They are fantastic; WAFFLES. is probably one of the best training grounds for anyone that really wants to take their PvP game to the next level and TEST seems to be not just existing, but actually dominating as of late.

      Lowsec and nullsec groups are what this game is all about, and that's why we in the New Order declare all who decide to venture there Code-Compliant. It's one of the main goals of the New Order, to get people who won't go into Low or Nullsec the incentive to do so.

      Part of the reason that I became such a supporter of James 315 and the Code is to fight that which prevents players from getting into that kind of true "Elite PvP" that exists in groups like WAFFLES; which is the pitiful and disgraceful anti-PvP attitudes of the Miner Class.

      There is no other organization in Highsec whose sole purpose is to directly find and disrupt those elements who oppose PvP and find it distasteful, with the end of eventually removing it.

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    4. ming anon 4:08 and 2:02 are xeno szenn if you remember me at all. a code guy talking shit to an alt of mine got me interested in reading the site. it seemed like koolaid kind of like 4th district durning burn provie or scum but if it's actual doing something then it's better then 90 percent of the people we faught togther back in the day,

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    5. Hey Ming

      Fit your cat: http://www.minerbumping.com/p/blog-page.html

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    6. It sounds kind of sad that there aren't still big wars in High Sec, I use to love hunting down people that was I being paid to kill :)

      ~~~~~)\~~~~0/~~~~~~~~

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    7. @Xeno

      Hey man, awesome to hear from you. I hear you and the WAFFLES have been really getting into some amazing fights in Querious with the Hordelings what with Gobbins dunking on everybody..

      As for CODE; largely what we do here is education and outreach (some would call it "confrontation") to those who are either unaware or averse to the concept of PvP. The New Order employs many different types of Agents with many different types of playstyles (and admittedly, levels of quality) of Code Enforcement. I stay here to try to bring a level of level-headedness and respect to the profession of Code Enforcement.

      To explain, A large part of my EVE experience has been about the posting, and from my start time in 2008, I have always been captivated by the stories James 315 has put out, starting back in the days of the EVE-O forums.

      I fully intend on someday returning to WAFFLES and completing my time there to join PL; part of the reason I left was a substandard internet connection and computer on my part- both things that were frustrating for me vis a vis taking the FC reins (My first try was Gobbins Vexors) and assuming a more prominent role in WAFFLES- but there's also the fact that I have an addictive personality and that EVE pretty much dominated my life during the time that I played it.

      Code Enforcement is a lighter way for me to be able to stand for a cause I believe in (PvP as being the One True Purpose of EVE) and still allow me to keep my free time available for others in my life.

      But yes, I truly miss WAFFLES. and all the crazy shit we got into. Keep on fighting the good fight and tell Reza and Gobbins hello for me.

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    8. Well do ming and ya waffles, horde and pl are doing what they've always done kick ass and take names. it's a fun deployment and a target rich environment. And i'll tell Reza and Gobbins hi from you next time i see them.

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  11. Man,

    The twin fallacies of "The CODE always wins" and "Elite PvP" ride again!

    "The CODE" never wins, because it can't.

    I've shown how repeatedly. If you need a private lesson, that can be arranged. Bring a pencil, there will be a test.

    "Elite PvP" exists but it's not to be found shooting poorly-fit, unarmed, and (allegedly) uncontrolled Mining Barges.

    I've shown how repeatedly. If you need a private lesson, that can be arranged. Bring a pencil, there will be a test.

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    1. @Abbot

      Look at this "loser" spouting off about "logic fallacies" while literally spouting off strawman arguments in the same sentences.

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  12. If Eve is supposed to be only an "elite PVP" game then why did CCP include game mechanics/systems such a mining, invention, industry, planetary interaction, & station trading?

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    1. @Anon 4:49

      One might ask the similar question: "If I am not supposed to mine, then why is there a Civilian Mining Laser on my Rookie Ship?"

      The answer: It is a test.

      The test is: Do you, the new player, value combat and war more than you value money?

      Those that choose correctly go on to experience the "fun" part of EVE Online. Those that fail become miners.

      And as you have seen, CCP does not wish for you to become a miner. However, like God, they must offer you a choice for your decision to be meaningful.

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    2. @Ming Tso 6:49pm

      Do you, as the supposed CHODE. agent, value combat and war, death and destruction, more than you value ISK?

      And exactly how does an atheist fit in to Jamey's view of Eve?

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    3. @Anon 8:26

      1. Yes

      2. Atheism is irrelevant, since while James 315 is still the closest thing that we have to a Deity ingame, He is yet mortal. Which is why He speaks to us Daily and can be understood by us.

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    4. @Ming Tso 8:35Pm

      So you admit that as a lover of death & destruction, of combat & war, that at your core you are an immoral individual. Nice to see you admit that.

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    5. He doesn't love combat, that's why he never undocks XD

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  13. Praise James 315! For he is the almighty cunt! The one who thinks he is different for attempting to remove the so called bot-aspirant miners, much like Helicity Boson before him, what with the Hulkageddon! And James 315 will fail, just like Helicity.

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