Saturday, May 7, 2016

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #105

Uh-oh... You know what this means, readers: Another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag, coming right up!

Freyjia Aryana of the Daily Planet uncovered some startling information. Having been backed into a corner by this intrepid reporter, I have no choice but to confess that The Mittani is indeed channeling real world bribes through a slush fund cleverly disguised as a multi-dollar media empire. I have a feeling this is only the beginning of this investigation.

(Or we'll never hear from Freyjia again. Whatever.)

Apparently DNAPhoenix missed the subject line of the termination EVEmail he was responding to: "For your kind attention."

Being ganked for the first time can trigger an existential crisis in a carebear. "Why kill me?" Because EVE players like killmails. A lot of them like the Code, too.

When a carebear uses "fuck humanity" as a slogan, I consider that to be a confession of bot-aspirancy. If you're anti-human, you're pro-bot.

Honking at old ladies is no crazier than sucker-punching someone for shooting a spaceship in a spaceship-shooting game. Also, a vessel lacking a New Order permit is hardly fit "perfect" for exploration or anything else.

Agent Ryan Ahashion discovered a public courier contract available which offered a 5 million isk reward, but only required 10 thousand isk as collateral. Something was fishy here. Ryan decided to investigate.

Our Agent sacrificed his 10 thousand isk collateral to open the package. He discovered 5.2 billion isk worth of equipment inside. Ryan he had no choice but to seize these assets for the New Order.

"Like a woman from a third world country"? It's a puzzling new comparison. Do they always win?

On Christmas Eve, Agent Mildron Klinker ganked an angry miner. All Mildron wanted for Christmas was for the miner to calm down...

...And maybe 10 million isk. Ganleth Turback had other ideas.

Season's greetings aren't what they used to be. Maybe I read too much into what these miners write, but their EVEmails often baffle me even upon a second or third reading. For example, how does Ganleth's brother being home from Iraq result in Ganleth playing EVE? And why doesn't he play EVE when his brother is in Iraq?

It's amazing who you can run into while enforcing the Code in highsec. Agent HotShotX Warcastle was lucky enough to meet EVE's highest-earning player. Tom Vallentine makes half a trillion isk per hour. All the more impressive that he does it using fail-fit Mammoths.

Miners, take note. This is how you climb EVE's learning cliff: Have a good attitude and ask good questions.


  1. The Code Always Wins! :D


  2. Damit why did James just give away our funding secret?! Next thing he's gonna open his mouth about our citadel constructing by planet 4!

  3. Hani Sumali seems is a wise man.

  4. You know what they say -

    Code kills miners, antiganking kills minors

  5. "a slush fund cleverly disguised as a multi-dollar media empire"


    That James is a funny mang, mang!

  6. CODE: Chicken Out, Deny Everything. That's the AT 2014 slogan.

    So, I would like to see how CODE responds when they are the target.

    1. Just to be clear, no actual New Order agent acts like the above Fake Agent. It is a clear attempt by some AG to slander the good name and reputation of the New Order.
      Fake Agent, calm down.

    2. Hmm.. perhaps we shall call him Potty-mouth Anon

  7. This is something for the grandchildren !

    *Sorry but it was needed to complete the list, you can blame my ocd...

    1. Totally a story for the grand kids!

  8. holy shit that courier contract, why cant i be that lucky?


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