Sunday, May 29, 2016

Kills of the Week

Rebels and skeptics say that the New Order gives EVE players a bad reputation. Nonsense. Having disposed of that argument, imagine the reputation our fair EVE community would have, if the Code didn't exist. People would say EVE is a theme park game with bad graphics, based around highsec isk-grinding in 100% safety. When asked about low/null/wormsec, people would reply, "They all import their wealth from highsec anyway. They're not relevant." Thank goodness for the Code. Let's enjoy some manifestations of the Code that occurred during the week of May 22nd @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 28th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

Isilmista was a typical nihilist bot-aspirant. Her triple-anti-tanked industrial was worth over 5 billion isk, but she didn't bother to slap on so much as a Civilian Shield Booster. Is this EVE or Hello Kitty Online? When Agent Ralliana showed up, it became EVE.

Ralliana knew she needed to kill the industrial based on her scan of its cargo. But it wasn't the PLEX that motivated the gank.

No permit.

Last week, djjohnson proved that some people still actually pilot Hulks, even in 2016. Normally a 2 billion isk Hulk would be equipped with ORE Strip Miners, but djjohnson opted for a bling fit and a modest capacitor tank. Agent Eva Mavas dragged djjohnson into the future, kicking and screaming.

Speaking of bling fits, Dried slowly cruised across highsec on autopilot in a Cynabal that would otherwise have been more than capable of shooting back. Once upon a time, Cynabals were considered one of the best ships in the game. But EVE has never been about fancy ships or blingy modules. To make full use of a ship and its equipment, an EVE player needs skill. To prove the point, Agents Rick Therapist, Brutal Anna, and Carebears' Nightmare teamed up and showed the carebear how elite PvP is done.

Culculus corp owned an inconspicuous little control tower. If you want to anchor anything in New Order territory--even a small tower--you need permission from the proper authorities. Agents Amanda Rekenwhith, Ho-Lee Crap, Zeke N Destroy, and CODE Customer Service learned of the tower's existence and removed it. The tower itself was cheap...

...But what the research laboratory contained was not. Amanda and her fellow Agents scooped it and enjoyed a blueprint worth several billion isk.

The New Order renewed its offensive against enemy jump freighters this week. Celia Ravine's was typical of the bot-aspirant philosophy: The only thing better than an anti-tank is a somewhat more expensive anti-tank. Despite CCP's repeated attempts to patch stupid, smart won out: Agents BAE B BLUE, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Miner Compliance Officer, Turkey Baster, Jake Kusion, Etrisa, Justin Kusion, Hayley, Bratok Srayona, Nullus Modus, Evil Master, Jack Fizzleblade, Breakfast Lord, BAE B PEW, Jericho159, Archibald Fizzleblade, Tyrone B1ggums, Logical Fallacy, Prixm Wind, Jackson Kusion, Yvain Bluewater, Nin Rin, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Ganking Service, Joshua Kusion, Logical Fatality, Unwarranted Assumption, Hermann Fizzleblade, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Schizz Popinov, and beepbeep Ozuwara put their heads together and figured out a way to end Celia's tyranny.

Dark Fiber Utama lost a 2.5 billion isk pod after Agent Carebears' Nightmare took down his 440 million isk Iteron Mark V. (For a sneak peak at the new meta, check out the Iteron's fit. Hint: sometimes a capacitor tank isn't enough.)

Shield and gunnery implants were incinerated during this kill. Somehow I doubt Dark Fiber Utama will be a less effective hauler without them.


  1. So many stories for the grandchildren! For sure!

  2. Where was AG to stop all these ganks? >.>

  3. I still pilot, and mine ore and ice with, Hulks. I also kill gankers when they try and pop it. So please excuse me for yawning over your "proved that some people still actually pilot Hulks, even in 2016" crap.

    1. Please link the relevant killmails of your reported Highsec experiences. An Agent of the New Order will then be able to verify your claims. Thank you.

    2. Translation from carebear language:

      I still mine to make ISK in a PVP game so that I can buy PLEX so that I can get more time to mine to make more ISK in a PVP game.

    3. To Rob Thompson and Anon 2:09:

      There's three kills.

    4. @402
      Link zkill or gtfo, i am not visiting that site you provided, dont want cooties.

      Do you not know how to use zkill?

    5. Anon 4:02, you know perfectly well what is meant by 'link killmails'.

      The link you did provide seems to indicate activity from 2015; have you anything more recent for me to look at?

      Thank you.

    6. I see nothing but Whoremails, Albrecht. this sums up his abilities quite well.

      And i dont think he realizes how pathetic that killboard really is, but he seems proud of it.
      Think i will get his attention in game, see if he really is in a hulk these days, or if he is just another lying carebear.


    1. You shall accept James 315 as the only savior of Highsec and your Lord.
    2. You shall reject any other Highsec leaders.
    3. You shall not make wrongful use of his name.
    4. You shall refrain from excessive mining, especially on Saturdays and Sundays.
    5. You shall honor and respect CCP. You shall not bother them with your petitions and lamentations.
    6. You shall not kill another Highsec citizen. Unless he’s a carebear, in which case slay the bastard!
    7. You shall not be whoring on the kill mails of his agents.
    8. You shall not steal his ore and ice. You shall only mine with a valid mining permit.
    9. You shall refrain from false accusations of his agents.
    10. You shall not be hoarding ISKs. In particular, you shall not be botting or AFK mining.

    1. Seeing that someone posted the NO commandment, I've decided to correct each commandment in turn.

      1. You shall not accept James 315 as your lord, for he is a false lord who offers a false product and will lead you astray.
      2. You shall accept others to lead you, unless you lead yourself.
      3. You shall spit on his name, make light of him, and insult him. Do as well unto his agents.
      4. You shall mine to your hearts content, especially on Saturdays and Sundays.
      5. You shall disrespect the new order and petition CCP for every offense they commit. You shall petition CCP for reimbursement of ganking losses.
      6. You shall not kill another Highsec citizen. Unless he's a code agent, in which case slay the bastard!
      7. You shall whore in on concord's kill mails when they take an agent's ship away.
      8. You shall mine all the ore and ice you want. You do not need a permit to take what is free.
      9. You shall make accusations against his agents, true or false doesn't matter.
      10. You shall horde your ISKs and mine AFK all day.
      11. You shall play the game as you wish and spit on the code agents who tell you otherwise.

    2. So you change shall to shall not. Very original

  5. You know what they say:

    Code kills miners, antigankers kill minors

    1. So.. both are murderers?

    2. @645
      Seriously? CODE kills miners, nothing illegal there friend.

      AG on the other hand kills RL people, and children at that. Very illegal.
      How do you even have time to read this blog while driving your greasy gypsie truck from one crime scene to the next?

  6. This is something for the children and grandchildren!!

    1. Your fixation on children makes me think you are BM/Davey/Sam.

      Tell us more about your compsci degree and how your co-workers think you are teh shitz, or how powerful you are with encryption and software.

    2. I am pretty sure this is a daily pot shot at loyalanon for telling Zopiclone that he wont live to see his grandkids and to die from cancer. This is EvE lore.

  7. Well it seems like BM has shamed himself into hiding. I really wanted to hear more about his encryption and software powers, and maybe how he planned on using them to stop the New Order.

    At the least a testimonial from another "co-worker/friend" on his prowess as a ctrl-c warrior.

  8. Thanks for sharing your thoughts & excitements about future of the web. good post guys and thanks for your article this is simply awesome. thanks for your info!


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