Sunday, May 1, 2016

Kills of the Week

Contrary to some unsubstantiated gossip going around, the Code is alive and well. The same can't be said for those who took the rumors at face value and began acting out in bot-aspirant fashion. They died. I'm afraid the rumors could very well have been to blame for some of the excesses we witnessed during the week of April 24th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 30th @ 23:59 EVEtime. Observe:

Watslol Thellere wasn't interested in tech II mining lasers or rigs of any kind, but he took to heart the old highsec miner saying, "Carpo diem." Those three loony laser upgrades resulted in a mining barge worth nearly 800 million isk. Agent Roger Friendly took it down.

...Which set off all the Russian miners in the neighborhood.

Speaking of Russians, a heroic band of Russian Agents took down aitari Davaham, who somehow managed to undock in a 9 billion isk Bestower. Agents Zero0 Hunt3r, Selena Tsero, KaMiKaDzExD, Vladislav Igorevic, Bober Demigod, Jesus Avada, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Bastian Mart, Gavrila Master, Sablya Fedorovich, Link Torres, and HABEPHO did their country--and highsec--proud. Agent KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb reported,
I do not know much English and I do not know how to write
good kiil
Message received, loud and clear. Most of our Agents prefer to let their killmails do the talking, anyway. As for that 9 billion isk cargo...

Apparently this is some Citadel nonsense. Yeah, you're gonna need a permit to go moving one of those things around.

Hauler pilot Singapore McGraw tried to be a bit creative. He used a cargo-expanded Ferox to move his contraband. And yes, those are fireworks in the launchers. Agents Carebears' Nightmare, Rick Therapist, Marina Gankalot, and Brutal Anna weren't rused; they killed Singapore like they would any other hauler. Singapore's scheme failed because our Agents aim to stop all Code violators, no matter what ships they may fly.

Numerous freighters met their doom this week. Lee Sage's 14 billion isk anti-tanked Providence had the benefit of the recent EHP buff, but he was still taken down by a gang of just six gankers: Agents Literally Megan Fox, Ryvarant, Necron Omika, Lissa Stonewall, Hit-me-with-a-brick In-the-face, and Josh Tsutola, all in Taloses.

Meanwhile, Feaven Hyks swapped out one anti-tank module in favor of bulkheads--evidencing her consciousness of guilt. She was greeted by a bunch of multiboxed stealth bombers. Agents Georgia Agape, Konstantina Demi, Melina Timothea, Kyveli Aglaia, Natasa Melpomeni, Justin Kusion, Efrosyni Dora, Evdokia Sofia, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Nomiki Marianna, Kiki Sotiria, and Stavroula Theodora launched their torpedoes. They all hit their target.

Dimaloun Makbema had the dubious distinction of being the 522nd (not a typo) pod killed in April by the capsule-crushing specialists of Vrix Nation corp. Agent ST0NER SMURF was delighted by the 4 billion isk killmail.

Judging by the implants, Dimaloun fancied himself a PvP'er of some sort. Maybe he would do okay in nullsec, but combat in highsec is on a completely different level. ST0NER's elite PvP came fast and furious--Dimaloun didn't even know what hit him. Until he returned to his keyboard.

Impressively, there was an even more expensive pod killed this week. SupplyChain Charlie autopiloted in a shuttle, if you can believe it. Agent Haleuth popped him with no difficulty. The Agent's corp, The Conference Elite, may have been temporarily absent from CODE. at the time, but the Code was never absent from their hearts.

...Yet Haleuth's heart couldn't help but break a little when he saw this sign of the ravages of bot-aspirancy. Implant for implant, SupplyChain's pod was one of the worst we've encountered. And to think, that 5.2 billion isk could've been spent buying shares in the New Order. What a waste.


  1. Tsk tsk tsk....
    Silly carebears, someone lied to you, CODE is still alive and killing!

  2. The code always wins. Always.

  3. On sparkling form today, Supreme Protector; you, and our comrades in arms!

  4. Repressed homosexual feelings much?

  5. Forever onwards until final victory! Hail to the savior!

  6. That's hisec carebear shitposting for ya, no content.

  7. This is something for the grandchildren!!

  8. Mr. Makbema seems to have spoken a number of years ago to Stoner Smurf:

    Dimaloun Makbema
    ETU Trading Division
    Eve Trade Union

    Posted - 2013.08.01 13:25:00 -
    funn stuff, will make sure i dont fly in pods hehe

  9. I have my own imposter! He never posts anything interesting or funny though...


  10. "Apparently this is some Citadel nonsense"

    Never a truer word said.

  11. Anonymous Pig get fucked in ass by hairless ape, then bacon and ham get turned in smoker. Pigman dick taxidermed to strapon to fuck wall street cum dumpster Alana.

  12. I'm not sure I like the hug-shaming I'm reading on that Ferox kill.


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