Thursday, May 12, 2016

Nine Years AFK

The New Order is constantly expanding. Each and every day, new Agents rally to our cause. They are quickly trained in the art of elite PvP. Agent Alt 00 took Alt Proxy under her wing. Before long, they were winning extraordinary victories in the name of the Code.


In a decisive engagement with an enemy Hulk, our Agents defeated the misleadingly named Agent Frolova. What kind of person pilots a Hulk these days? Our brave Code enforcers were about to find out.


Frolova was notified that the New Order had already annexed all of highsec years ago. She greeted the news with trepidation.


Frolova issued a series of demands. Apparently she wanted to arrange a battle with our Agents, despite having already lost one.


Next, Frolova initiated a hit-and-run convo.


Maybe Frolova should've stayed in contact with Alt 00 a little longer. She lost track of our Agent and had to send another EVEmail upon realizing her mistake.


The New Order has championed the cause of transparency. There would be no more back-channel convos or EVEmails between Alt 00 and Frolova. Their dispute would be resolved in Aufay local.


For someone who had just lost a quarter-billion isk ship, Frolova was awfully squeamish about the 10 million isk mining permit fee. Buying a permit has always been cheaper than not buying one.


To Alt 00's surprise, some riff-raff began filling Aufay local with outrageous anti-Code ideas. Maybe Frolova was merely the symptom of a larger problem.


The rebels and skeptics tried to undermine the legitimacy of Alt 00's killboard. They failed. Alt 00 had statistics on her side (greater than 99% efficiency!). The rebels resorted to arguing "those kills don't count because reasons."


Our Agent proudly declared the objective, API-verified truth. The rebel miners could only chatter incoherently amongst themselves in reply.


As I've always said, just give the miner an opportunity and he'll happily confess his crimes.


Alt 00 only wanted to help Frolova experience the game (that is, this game, not DotA). Frolova didn't want help--which is precisely why an intervention had to be arranged. Miners who don't want help rarely seek it.


Rebels and skeptics in local grew quiet as they watched Frolova. Even they couldn't bring themselves to cheer her on anymore.


Alt 00 moved to another system to help more miners. Frolova followed her. She didn't have a new mining ship yet, but she threatened to resume mining eventually. Frolova was no newbie; she has been playing EVE for more than 9 years. But in all that time, she never truly played EVE until Alt 00 and Alt Proxy showed up. Maybe that--and not some silly promise of retaliation--was why Frolova followed them. And so it was that highsec took one small step closer to total compliance.

22 comments:

  1. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:
    - Proverbs 31:10, 27-28 NIV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The NIV has translation errors and you should not bet your soul on it. Get a real Bible with a real translation: KJV.

      BM

      Delete
  2. Wow antiganking is still failing hard

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're still here? I thought Mingle was giving you some butt nut or some such weird thing.

      BM.

      Delete
    2. This is what we do. Wolf may be banned from Eve, but he can still do Gods work in WoW. And just like he said, even there the AG is failing.. hard.

      ~ Asia Leigh

      Delete
    3. @Asia: LOL That was funny.

      BM

      Delete
    4. LOL didn't expect that level of humor from the code. goonies

      Delete
    5. @Wofl: You made a funny, but I know it was unintentional. You just don't have the brainpower to use punctuation.

      -Oink

      Delete
  3. Looks like the anti-code movement is gaining steam. People are getting fed up with Jimmy Boy, the buffoon of highsec and his false promises.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon @ 7:49

      Ganker wannabe, calm down!

      Delete
    2. "anti-code movement gaining steam"
      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahabahaha

      Delete
    3. I got a movement that's been gaining steam all day. I bet it smells better than AG

      Delete
    4. Ahhh, link this "anti-CODE movement" please?

      Did you mean the "hisec militia"?

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAahahahah

      Delete
    5. "I got a movement that's been gaining steam all day. I bet it smells better than AG"

      LOL

      eww

      Delete
  4. A story for all the grandchildren in the world.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Welp, you can buy them skillbooks, you can send them to EvE Uni, and you can explain why they should have a permit in the most efficent and easy to understand way, but a hisec carebear will almost always still make the wrong decision.

    In what other game can carebears fail so relentlessly and not be driven out by the rest of the community?

    Carebears in other games should envy their EvE counterparts. They have never had it so good!

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. But where oh where is Ming?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like turtles.


      -Galaxy Pig

      Delete
    2. shut it fake galaxy pig

      -oink

      Delete
    3. Both of you shut it!

      -Galaxy Chicken

      Delete
    4. @aonon9:17 you literally ask the same thing every post. We get it. You have a hard on for ming, but please stop posting non-sensual sperg. It's just dumb.

      Delete

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